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A question for people who are always positive and content and upbeat. How do you do it?

124 replies

ConsumerCockup · 28/10/2020 19:19

Like, how?

OP posts:
Bluewavescrashing · 28/10/2020 19:20

A lot of people aren't thriving inside. They just put on a front.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/10/2020 19:22

Anyone who says or acts as though they are always positive, content, and upbeat is lying.

Needhelp101 · 28/10/2020 19:23

Functioning alcoholic? 🤣

Bunkumum · 28/10/2020 19:24

Not my circus not my monkeys.

LizzieMacQueen · 28/10/2020 19:24

Don't sweat the small stuff. That was my granny's advice. I try to follow it.

trilbydoll · 28/10/2020 19:26

Nothing truly terrible has ever happened to me which helps. Unless you count the time a seagull swiped my ice-cream from under my nose on Woolacombe Beach.

Focusing on the negatives rarely achieves anything, and if I can't fix the problem there's no point dwelling on it.

TeapotCollection · 28/10/2020 19:26

Think nice thoughts only

Try not to worry about things I can’t control

Have to say it doesn’t always work though, I don’t think anyone is always positive

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 28/10/2020 19:27

Some people just naturally seem to assume that things will always turn out OK. Also, they seem able to bring good stuff to the foreground and push the less good stuff to the background.

not my DH unfortunately

ILiveInSalemsLot · 28/10/2020 19:29

No one is always like that.
The ones who are mostly like that are like that by nature. Maybe they don’t have any major worries, and if they do, they’re just dealing with it quietly.
In my experience, they don’t dwell on the negative and just look for a solution or good coping mechanism.

MakeLemonade · 28/10/2020 19:30

I’m not always happy but I am naturally very positive and upbeat, think it’s just how I was born - I also have zero ability to hold a grudge so let things go very quickly.

Witchend · 28/10/2020 19:30

I think people would describe me like that.

My theory is most people mean the best and are thoughtless rather than nasty.
As a general rule I tend to reckon that if I've a strong feeling about something, people (within offensive views) can quite legitimately feel strongly the other way, and that's their right.
People are normally interesting in their differences.

I'm not always calm on the inside though. Grin

Yourpartjewishfriend · 28/10/2020 19:34

I had a horrible unbringing, then joined the armed forces... the benefit of these being that I'm pretty resilient.
So I'm good at not sweating the small stuff.
I'm generally pretty happy, driven and ambitious. I guess because the alternative is ending up like my alcoholic hopeless mother (I'm quite black and white with my thinking!).

DelurkingAJ · 28/10/2020 19:34

I’ve been described as being like this.

Firstly I’ve always been lucky and privileged so I’ve not experienced the difficulties many people have. Secondly I am a firm believer in ‘never ascribe to conspiracy what can adequately be explained as a cock up’ which means I don’t take things that go wrong personally.

I do have my moments but it’s fairly unusual and poor DH fields them!

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 28/10/2020 19:35

I measure my happiness against my own goals, not other peoples, so I dont get down when I see other peoples success on sm. Also dh and I ask each other at the end of the day what was the best thing about today? What have I done to make you feel appreciated?

Missandra · 28/10/2020 19:37

I had a very serious mental health crisis some years ago. It took me a long time to come back from it. Now I really appreciate the small things and even the worst problems are nothing compared to what I went through. So I am always positive and relaxed about stuff, but it’s because I’m just happy to be here.

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 28/10/2020 19:38

See me in work and you’d think I’m like that. It’s an act.

The anxious, depressive, hoarding wreck stays at home.

Watching for tips!

Ragwort · 28/10/2020 19:39

I am generally very positive and upbeat, I can put on a good 'act' but mainly because I loathe being around negative people so realise it is in my own interests to be positive. I am also very grateful for my good fortune and "luck" in life and even when I am feeling down like now, having a major disagreement with my DH I know I much more fortunate than many.

formerbabe · 28/10/2020 19:39

Not everyone is struggling underneath and putting on a front. My best friend told me she never feels down, her mood when she wakes up is the same as it for the entire day...she's always upbeat. Known her decades, she isn't lying. My brother in law is the most chilled out person ever, never seems to worry. Some people are just born like that, it's luck. My ds has a school mate who has a permanent smile on his face. I don't think his life is any different to the rest of the class.

I wish I was like them!

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 28/10/2020 19:40


Functioning alcoholic? 🤣

Er... no comment 😂
Ragwort · 28/10/2020 19:40

And I never use SM, apart from Mumsnet, as a PP said, never measure your happiness against anyone else's.

Life isn't 'fair', that's a fact and it's best to acknowledge it!

Fairyfalls · 28/10/2020 19:43

Concentrate on the positives as soon as negative thoughts come in you can then push those aside. It is down to '' The Secret '' keeps your thoughts in line.

Disorganisedfish · 28/10/2020 19:45

I had a crap childhood and actually, some pretty crap adulthoodness too but people describe me as this. I think there’s an element of “fuck it!” things that are shit - if you can’t change them there’s no point making them worse by dwelling on it. Maybe because I’ve had some tough times (rape, abuse, bankruptcy) my barometer for crap is pretty high too? I’ve had huge amounts of therapy that help me see things in a bugger context. That said, no one is always positive - life got on top of me last week and I cried on a colleague. I think they were terrified given my notoriety for generally being positive!

Starface · 28/10/2020 19:48

I'm definitely not always upbeat, and in fact I am deeply suspicious of those who are, as I see it as a form of denial of the genuine difficulty of life. However I have been described as stoic often in the face of difficulty. I definitely have my bad days or weeks. I sit with it in the knowledge that it will pass. I think about and process my difficulties, allowing them to wash over me like the tide. I do not sweat the small stuff, and only indulge anxiety as far as it is useful. I find I cannot really bear to dwell in the doldrums for a long time. I find myself soothing simple projects - I enjoy slow crafting with tv/radio for this. I organise my photos. I nurture myself. I feed my body, I care for my body by walking, doing pilates etc. Whilst I think being unhappy and acknowledging unhappiness is very important at times (it is part of the natural variation and range of a richly lived life), I cannot bear to be deeply unhappy for a long time, and naturally seem to act to get out of that state after a while.

Rystall · 28/10/2020 19:53

I am positive, content and upbeat. It’s not a front and I’m not pretending. I wasn’t always like that though. I read a lot about it and now believe you choose your own attitude every single morning. So I choose to be positive. For me, its about not living too far inside my own head and realising that most people are trying their best. I’m not on SM ( bar MN) and I think that helps. I listen to podcasts and read books about positive mental attitude all the time. Also for me it’s about prioritising health, exercise and wellness. I practice gratitude every day. For the smallest things - a hot cup of coffee, a sunrise, running water etc etc. Being positive isn’t pretending everything is always good, it’s being thankful for what you have and believing that better times are right around the corner. My life is infinitely better by choosing to be positive.

KenBarlow · 28/10/2020 19:56

I get described like this, people at work often comment about how smiley I am and that I'm always upbeat

At home I'm quite depressed and moody at the minute and they wouldn't guess at all, but it isn't a front I'm putting on it's just in my nature to be smiley like that.

No matter how I'm actually feeling I'm always upbeat and smiley at work, I've always been the same

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