A question for people who are always positive and content and upbeat. How do you do it?

[ConsumerCockup]

Like, how?

@Rystall

I am positive, content and upbeat. It’s not a front and I’m not pretending. I wasn’t always like that though. I read a lot about it and now believe you choose your own attitude every single morning. So I choose to be positive. For me, its about not living too far inside my own head and realising that most people are trying their best. I’m not on SM ( bar MN) and I think that helps. I listen to podcasts and read books about positive mental attitude all the time. Also for me it’s about prioritising health, exercise and wellness. I practice gratitude every day. For the smallest things - a hot cup of coffee, a sunrise, running water etc etc. Being positive isn’t pretending everything is always good, it’s being thankful for what you have and believing that better times are right around the corner. My life is infinitely better by choosing to be positive.

This describes better how I live my life - I have a gratitude book that I write in daily as well. It’s a choice about how you view / approach things.

Serious amounts of effort! People describe me as very calming, that they feel better after being with me.

I've practiced over the years not having a knee jerk emotional reaction. I always try and find a positive way of looking at situations.

That doesn't mean things aren't crap- of course they are, often! But it's easier to cope with if you look for the sequin in the muddy puddle.

Accepting that people are doing their best, that few people act maliciously is helpful, too.

Makes me think of the film happy go lucky, which for some reason I have seen twice. Still not quite sure of the message it's trying to convey. Well apart from the fact that toxically positive people are as annoying as fuck.

I have a pretty upbeat jolly personality but that doesn’t mean that I don’t experience the whole range of human emotions in any given day, it just means I git into the habit of being positive a long time ago and it’s just a habitual way of being.
When you’re positive, people gravitate towards you and feel relaxed.

I’m pretty upbeat and content. I tend to look on the bright side and don’t worry about stuff that might never happen but if things do I quite quickly make a plan B, or C or D etc etc and don’t dwell on “what ifs”.
I’d say the key is to be very “can do” and give stuff a go even if I’m not sure plus I also concentrate on what I can control /change and not what I can’t.

It doesn't come naturally to me but when I've been able to actively push away negative thoughts and be positive it becomes a habit. I get off track sometimes but this thread reminded me of how much I prefer being positive.
Also, enjoy small things and never compare yourself to others.

I'm one of those people. Even with what's happening now ( I'm in tier three).

I'm ok, my DD and her partner are ok, so far all our families are ok. I'm on a pension and DD works from home, so financially we are ok.

But, of course I'm worried about how we are going to get out of this mess. My mental health is ok, so far. But I also worry about friends and wider family. I feel sad that I cannot see my great niece who was born in September.

But we are in this mess. So we have to accept that. I know that's easy for me to say,but I cannot mentally be depressed when I'm not.

Doesn't mean I don't think those not blessed with good mental health are wrong, I just think I'm lucky.

I'm like this , I'm not pretending and don't have any issues .. I have learned as life goes on I'm very unusual and seen as a threat to a lot of people . I have a son who has sn and I'll never recover from that but I deal with it by telling myself it could be worse ( it really could be !!) .. life flies by so I try to enjoy and . I can't stand a moaner and never understand why some people are so negative and miserable !

Following with interest.

The thing is... if you meet people like this, do you trust them? I would love to be a chirpier version of myself but I'm open, honest and transparent. I can't bring myself to trust a person who won't show their true self or true reactions.

I work a lot on my mental health and outhit first. I know what helps me-being outside, social contact and routine. A break every couple of months for a night or two. I genuinely appreciate the small things-I notice birdsong, a pretty flower etc, hug dc as often as I can. I read a saying ‘you can’t choose a situation but you can choose your reaction’. Recognising that emotions are passing.

I’ve had quite a lot of shit in my past and had two mental breakdowns-I’m glad of it as it’s made me very resilient and empathetic.

I wouldn't say I'm relentlessly upbeat, it's more that I'm what you might call even-tempered and not very emotional. I'm pretty optimistic and content though. And it's honestly not an act. That's just what my temperament is like. I did have a couple of years when I had quite bad anxiety, but that was down to a health-related issue and I got over it.

I am. (The teachers at school used to call me Pollyanna 🙈)
Honestly it's just my personality, my family aren't like it at all. When truly shit things have happened I have had periods of feeling really low but that's only really a couple of times and even then it's sort of up and down.

I am weird, even when I'm overall having a shit time I found myself really enjoying it (like when I had this awwwwful job which I knew was bad but I would just enjoy the days )

One thing I do though is if something big or small makes me feel disappointed I allow myself for a short time to really WALLOW In how this is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone, really 30 mins of compete pity party. Then I say that's enough and usually I'm not feeling too sad although still might feel some disappointment .

@BibbityBobbityBellend

Following with interest.

The thing is... if you meet people like this, do you trust them? I would love to be a chirpier version of myself but I'm open, honest and transparent. I can't bring myself to trust a person who won't show their true self or true reactions.

If someone comes across as genuine, I will certainly respond differently than if it seems to be an act.

The thing is... if you meet people like this, do you trust them? I would love to be a chirpier version of myself but I'm open, honest and transparent. I can't bring myself to trust a person who won't show their true self or true reactions.

I think I might trust them more. I'm much more likely to associate positive, chirpy people with honesty and openness tbh! Why do you assume that cheerfulness and positivity are not their true reactions?

I think there is a difference between people who deal with hardships by mindfulness and appreciating the small stuff and people who willfully refuse to acknowledge hardship, sometimes blame people for difficulties in life for not being positive enough.

@BibbityBobbityBellend. I too am open and honest and transparent. Being positive for me is not about putting on a front. Not at all. You will always see a true and authentic ‘me’. I don’t pretend - not ever. But even on my worst day I just find something, anything to be thankful for and work from there. I am in control my own reactions and don’t create or imagine additional drama where none exists.

I’m like this and never thought I would be.

I’ve been through pnd and depression so I know what to look for in myself and take measures to stop myself from sliding again. It’s never been too bad for many years but understanding myself and my feelings is a huge positive in my life.

I’ve also learnt a lot from my husband. He’s the most laid back and least judgemental person I’ve even met. He is who he is and is so comfortable in himself. Never envious or wishing for more.

And that’s something I’ve tried really hard to take on board. We have work, health, a home, healthy happy children and that’s a heck of a lot.

I'm always a positive sort, happy to chat, warm and friendly, genuinely so. Love meeting people and finding out about them. However my dog is coming to the end of her life and I cry many times a day, I still seem bubbly and happy though, but it is currently more of a mask.

I just cry when I get home.

BlackLetterDay - yes, but there are also cheerful people who fit into neither of those categories. Some people either haven't really had any hardships or just have the kind of temperament which teacts fairly calmly to them - not because they work at it with mindfulness, but just because that's what they are like. Also that doesn't mean they judge other people on how positive they are.

I'm naturally very positive and optimistic, its just how my brain is wired I think.

When awful things happen (and a lot of awful things have happened in my life) I have an initial reaction of sadness/anger/stress/worry about whatever the situation is but then can almost feel my brain processing it and finding a germ of positivity to build on. So a job loss will turn into an opportunity to pursue something new, diagnosis of an illness becomes a trigger to get myself healthier etc. I have no control over it but am extremely grateful for it as it means I am mostly cheerful and upbeat.

I am probably like this.

I had a really shitty upbringing and ended up physically ill through stress and I used to worry about everything.

Then I went NC with my mother and it was like a massive weight lifting off me.

I have had some pretty bad things happen to me and things go wrong but I don’t think anything is worse than my upbringing so it never really upsets me. I tend to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

However lockdown and this virus has really gotten to me. I have lost an awful lot financially because of this virus. I have also realised how much I enjoy going out and meeting people and being in a crowd and to not have anything to look forward to has definitely made me not as happy, although outside of the family no one would know

Recognising that emotions are passing

I think this is one of the most important things.

When times are difficult & bewildering (eg when my father died a couple of months ago) I often repeat to myself the following quotation from Rilke:

Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final

Embracing all the different things life can be, and making your peace with that, I find more effective than forcing positivity