Will he cheat tonight?

[Devoilmum]

Need some distracting, stomach in knots.

Im taking the dcs away for a couple of nights to visit grandparents during half term. Dp is working some of the days we’re away but was planning to follow us there. However, logistically, rule of 6, travel sick dog, it’s not possible.

Six months ago I found out he’d been having an affair. He stayed, lockdown, and we said we’d work on fixing it.
We work well together, never argue, just drifted apart really. Anyway, we’ve thought, we’ve talked and are going to try and make it work.

I want to trust him, but I don’t yet. Tonight will be a real test. Last night he told me he’s committed to us, our family and will do whatever it takes. He told me he still loves me.

Will he come home, have dinner and go to bed? Or will he head to OW?

He doesn’t realise that I can track his location (his previous downfall).

I’m not sure how I shall manage to drive and think of anything other than this all day.

Just looking for a handhold I guess.

It is a miserable way to live and I don’t want to live wondering anymore.
In my heart I want to believe him.
I think he’ll go there.
He’ll have his phone, he always does. He doesn’t realise that I can track him through the dcs phones. I’ve reactivated it.

And what if she comes to him?

He’ll go to her, I’m sure

Can I kindly ask why you are so sure of this?

Sorry if this sounds harsh, it’s not meant to.
It almost sounds like you’d be relieved if he did it - so you can feel justified and certain in ending it.

If you feel like this, maybe it’s best to end it anyway?

Hi OP - you said that being tracked was his downfall previously so won’t he be on the lookout for this?

I'm inclined to think he won't, as it's still so soon after you found out. However, for your sake I sort of hope he does, just to save you from forever wondering and waiting for it to happen again.

Jesus op, I lived like this for awhile, the stress and anxiety isn’t worth it, he isn’t worth it. He broke your trust and all the promises in the world won’t change that. My ex broke my trust and I was constantly suspicious of him, he called me paranoid, that old chestnut they like to use when they have been deceitful.
I’m single now and I can’t tell you how good it feels to not have those nagging thoughts always on your mind.

If you're so sure he is going to go to her, why are you waiting to let him do this to you again?
Also, being able to track his location only shows you where he is - she could equally come to your home and you'd be none the wiser???

Thanks for the hand hold everyone. He doesn’t know I tracked him previously. I confronted him and said I’ve no proof, but this is what I suspect. He admitted it.
I hope he won’t. I want him to have meant his words.
But maybe it’s her he wants but not at the cost of his family. He can’t have both though!

She could easily come to him though.

Are you positive he would take his phone? Or that he doesn't have a second phone? I found my exH's second phone after we split.

He's probably figured out by now that you did have some proof. The most obvious thing would be that you're somehow able to see his location via his phone. I knew it would be that before you even confirmed it, it's not rocket science. He'll have worked it out too.

OW could come over to your place. He could leave his phone at home.

If his phone doesn't leave the house, you still don't truly know anything.

Aw op. I know that feeling well...

It's not worth it, I promise you.

I feel for you op. This is how I live my life, and I truly would not wish It on anybody

Oh OP, I feel for you. So this essentially is a test of what he has said to you. I do very much hope that he proves you wrong. Affairs are not easy things to deal with and it is not for us to judge whether you stay with him. I totally understand you distancing yourself. You are protecting yourself, completely normal.

OP another one here saying this is no way to live. I did it myself for a few months and it was torture. I spent 2 days at my parents with my DC and I had a trace for his phone but he apparently never left the house. I got home while he was still at work and I knew he'd had her in our house, our bed. There was blonde hair in my bathroom hairbrush and the bedding was in the washer.

I'm here for a hand hold OP, and I really hope your suspensions are wrong. But there is always a chance he'll have her come to your home.

Have you got a landline? I would. E calling on that too.

Or FaceTime.

Honestly, OP, even if he doesn't go, it doesn't mean he's committed.

I could be the OW in your situation (minus the dog). The affair has ended and there is no intention to restart but he couldn't come to me tonight even he wanted to as he knows I'm not home.

I don't say this to hurt you, but you don't know what, if any communication there is between them, so his staying home isn't necessarily the big tick you're looking for.

Yes FaceTime is an idea. He’s home at the moment so maybe later.
He’s very chatty, sending pictures etc.

I know she could come to ours. I know it’s no way to live.

I guess it is a test.

I am sorry but you should not be living like this. This is awful for your MH. You will barely be able to enjoy your stay away anyway as your thoughts are consumed with this. Even if he doesn't cheat today, or maybe ever, in your mind you will always wonder whenever you are not together. It will eat at you and your self esteem for years. Personally I firmly believe once a cheater always one provided the opportunity presents itself.

I'm so sorry op. As others have said this is no way to live.

Are you happy living with this stress? Is it really worth it? Staying together for the kids isnt always the best way. Obviously it's your life.