How useful was your birth partner?

[NimbleKimble]

After reading a different thread it got me thinking.

DH was there and was fine but honestly he couldn’t have really done much else other than stand there, tell me it was going to be ok etc etc. But then I don’t know if I could have done it alone. However, even when it became clear I needed an EMCS, DH’s part was just to tell me it would be ok.

I sort of (and only a tiny bit!) feel sorry for birth partners because there really isn’t much they can do, they just get to watch and I think I would find that really hard. At least it was happening to me and I could feel and know how my body was feeling, if that makes sense.

So how useful was your birth partner? For those who had someone who had given birth themselves was that more helpful? Or did they too just stand like an extra piece with supportive words

Amazing. He was the voice of reason and advocated for me when I was a messy ball of whimpering pain (induced on drip, epidural didn't work at all and the pain almost ended me - and I have an amazingly high pain threshold)

I was induced at midnight so we'd been up all day the day before and DD was born via unplanned CS the next afternoon. Poor bloke didn't get a rest until that night so I don't begrudge him his lie in the next day.

He was the one who made sense of my whimpering silence and angry garbled ramblings at the medical staff when I was begging for a section and they wanted to push on with induction despite the pain I was in and the fact I'd dilated less than 1cm in 12 hours.

Now I thought my OH would be useless. Before I gave birth, he was adamant he was too squeamish to see anything happening down that end, didn't want to cut the cord and seemed really worried about the whole thing, so I didn't have much hope to be honest!
Well when the time came, the only thing that seemed to help was him telly firmly rubbing my back for the early contractions. He rubbed my back for every single contraction. He must've watched me as I didn't talk much and he must've been able to tell when they were coming without me having to say. I vomited at one point and there was nobody around, he started going through cupboards and found me a sick bowl without me even having to say I was about to be sick.
He never did see the head come out or cut the cord or anything like that, but he was so much more brilliant than I thought he'd be. He ordered burgers after a few hours and I could've cried with happiness.

First time around, not very! He was trying to stay calm but doing a very bad job, I just asked him for the exact wording and he says at one point I snarled at him to 'close your fucking eyes and stop bulging them at me' He was great for number 2 and 3 though, much more of a calmer presence, he knew what to expect by then!

Baby #1: useful for carrying the bags, passing me things, dressing newborn while the mws were trying to yank the placenta out. Also he went with the baby for some tests she needed while I was being sewn up in theatre. Which put my mind at rest that he was looking after her.

Baby #2: lockdown baby and induced so DH only allowed to come in once I was in active labour. The last bit went quite quickly though and he only made it for the last ten mins. So I did pretty much do it alone and it was GREAT. I could just focus and rest between contractions, was in the zone and the birth was a walk in the park compared to the first. After the birth he was useful for getting me food, holding DS while I had stitches and had a shower. Driving and carrying bags.

Like a pp I’m so glad he was there to see the babies being born but I didn’t NEED him during the birth bit. Helped that with no2 the midwives were lovely.