What advice would you give to a woman in her late 30s?

[Inthetropics]

Anything that you feel would help make her 40s, 50s and future in general a little better.

I am 36 now and have been feeling like time is passing very fast. When i was in my 20s i received some advice that made a big diference in my life. Some i wish i had taken more seriously!

Treasure the time you have left with older relatives, don’t take it for granted. For me, and for many people I know, forties are the decade when we see our parents become ill and then die.

I too agree with pp's that this thread is depressing. Along with all the planning, there should be accepting yourself and your current situation, where you are now is where you are now! You can make small changes.

But also, living in the moment and enjoying it. I'm not sure I want to live to 80 with crippling hip pain etc. Live life now. Spend more time with your friends. Do that thing you wanted to.

I (until covid obviously) regularly went abroad with my 2 friends. We ate posh food and drank loads of lovely wine at the most beautiful restaurant looking out over the sea. Then we went zip-lining. It was fun. It still makes me smile now.

We all need more fun.

Sort out your skincare routine. I started oil cleansing when I was 37. I only use almond oil on my skin as a cleanser and moisturiser and yogurt, honey and turmeric as a face mask.

I look younger now than I did when I started (I'm 45) and often get take for 30something. I've been chatted up by a few men in their 20s in recent months who assumed I was early 30s!

Drink lots of water.

Exercise.

Lose any weight you want to - it gets harder after 40.

Agree with career change and pension. Sadly, you are still young out of your 30s but people start to see you as 'older'.

Sort out any dodgy boundaries. They will serve you well into your 40s.

Feel, and believe you are, beautiful. Because you are.

I'm 33,

My health is shite
My fitness is shite
My diet is shite
I've no pension
I'm not qualified for anything
I'd rather stick hot pokers in my eyes than see a dentist or hygienist..

I'll get in the bin now.

Pension yes need to follow this one up this week !! Have no clue about it to be honest

As someone in their mid thirties I found this all really helpful! And I know everyone is on different budgets and lifestyles etc but things like getting out in nature; drink lots of water and exercise don't need to cost much :)

See an IFA and sort out your pension.

If you don't already, start lifting weights to build your muscle mass. It offsets a decreasing metabolism as you age and a stronger core avoids falls as you get much older (but it's good to start now).

I’m 43 and don’t see this thread as depressing at all! It’s just all really great advice.
I def agree with previous posters regarding starting a good fitness programme if you don’t already. If you’re ‘not a sporty person’, you can become one!
It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you enjoy it, so are more likely to stick to it and do regularly.
I’ve never ever been a swimmer in my life, but just recently have got into outdoor swimming at a local lido, and finding it amazing!
My younger self wouldn’t have done it because I’d be self conscious about a) being in the slow lane b) being seen in a swimsuit (despite being relatively slim) - now I don’t give a flying fuck about those things.
Once you get past the idea that people are staring at you (they aren’t, no one cares), it’s totally liberating.
Same with going to the gym, going running etc - I used to be self conscious about going bright red and sweaty, until I realised that’s what you’re MEANT to do whilst exercising, and that not many people look picture perfect doing their workout.

For those feeling depressed at the thought of being in their forties - please don’t, it can be the BEST time! I love being in my forties more than any other time of my life.

I've had a career change at 40 so it can happen later on too.

Take a look at The Open University @supercee. It's cheaper than a bricks and mortar uni and all their courses are designed to fit around work and other responsibilities. If you don't have a DP and DC then you should have the 16-20 hours per week recommended for a PT degree (i.e. you study one module per year, rather than two) www.open.ac.uk/

In my early 30s so watching with interest

read up on perimenopause , you won't think you're going crazy when it happens.

This is also really good advice. I spent my early 40s wondering why I was suddenly getting all these disparate symptoms that made me feel rubbish and thinking 'Fuck, am I getting old already?'. Turns out it was just diminishing oestrogen. I really wish every woman at age 40 was given an information booklet about peri-menopause, but they aren't, and until that happens it's up to us to educate ourselves. Don't wait until you're already feeling like crap:

menopausesupport.co.uk/
www.menopausematters.co.uk/
www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/

Pilates at least twice a week (online is better than nothing). It's just so good for your body, keeping everything in alignment and working properly. I've been really lax since lockdown but I can feel the difference, my back isn't happy.

Thanks @zafferana I'd completely forgotten about the OU.

I don't know if you have DC, OP? My advice is not to lose sight of your career. When I was 36 I was knee deep in nappies and I felt like I'd never want a proper grown up career again, but I have rediscovered it in my 40s.

It might sound depressing but you will be laughing in your forties if you take the advice ;-) I am glad I saved for my pension but I wish I had made more frequent trips to the hygienist and lifted weights.

My 40th birthday is coming up. Take the current state of the world out of the equation and I'm quite looking forward to my 40s. I had DS1 just before my 30th birthday so my 30s have been about childraising, and I will get more independence and freedom back through my 40s.

Running was my surprise discovery of my 30s. It's an investment in my bones, muscle and waistline. Some yoga as well. Little and often. I want to still be able to sit on the floor in my 50s

DM was widowed in her early fifties and she got younger over the coming years as she found more social groups. 30s- 40s can be a tough age for socialising as family commitments dominate and reduce the pool of people around, but as life changes, that opens up again.

Life is a marathon and we're not even half way yet.

@BogRollBOGOF I'm 34 and had my first child 31 and second at almost 34 so first half of 30's has been all about pregnancy, birth and babies. The second half I will watch them grow and hopefully 40's get some freedom back like yourself as I watch them grown from children to teenagers. They will be 9 and 7 when I'm 40.

The perimenopause advice is good. In particular, its influence on unpredictable anxiety (in my case). I was a very steady and laid back person so when it bites down, it still seems as if it comes from left-field and is caused by bodily stuff, not an emotional trigger. Maybe it is. I'm hoping this eventually will disappear again.

In terms of money, I'd say think about what you won't skimp on if you have the power to do that. This first clearly dawned for me when the answer was 'pain control in labour'. In no particular order of importance though, it could be things like shampoo, decent socks, bread, washing powder, coats, mattresses...some things are worth not agonizing over too much, even if in the big scheme of things, they're not all big spends. Likewise, if it's achievable, consider having a screw-up fund of a few £100 and if you need to mitigate a screw up, don't beat yourself up about it, charge to the fund. Screw ups include things like key losses and failing to read manuals that would make equipment work if you did.

Look up Baz Luhrman song 'everybody's free to wear sunscreen'. Great advice within!

Another thing I’d say is if you want to go somewhere, do something, etc and can’t find someone to go with you just go on your own. Don’t worry about what others may think, the majority are probably too busy to notice.

Whether it’s an art exhibition, cinema, meal in a restaurant, holiday abroad. Just do it.

@OldChinaJug I don’t suppose you can tell me more about your skin care routine? I would love to go a bit more natural

On the back of this thread I sorted my pension out today and upped my contributions, went to the dentist on Monday. Now just need to start MFP logging my food again to lose that one last stone and a half that I've had round my waist since the kids were born nearly a decade ago. I also found a nice reusable water bottle in the back of a cupboard so trying to drink 4 of them per day should keep me on track. I don't have sunscreen on as it's practically dark outside but tomorrow is another day...

Thanks OP! I like this more than princessing

Don’t be scared to try something new that you’ve always wanted to try. Just go for it. I turned 40 this year but I don’t feel negatively about it at all. I have no regrets about my life so far - I’ve travelled loads, done some really interesting jobs, had fun sleeping around, got a couple of degrees. I’ve also failed spectacularly a few times. Made a tit out of myself and had my heart broken. But when I look back, it feels like a full life and I have no regrets.

Now I’m a married mum of three. But I’m retraining in a new career and feel very positive about getting older and what the future has in store.

Pensions and weight, etc, is all sensible advice. But my biggest piece of advice would be that if you feel yourself in a rut, do whatever you feel is possible to get out of it. Don’t get stuck somewhere you don’t want to be. It’s such a waste of time.

LuckyAmy1986

Of course.

I use the oil cleansing method which I read about on here years ago.

I massage about 1/2tsp of almond oil into my face for anything between 30 secs to 10 mins depending on how long I have. The longer you do it the better really. It removes all make up so no need for anything else. Then I leave for for, again, 5 - 20 mins.

Hot as I can stand water on a face cloth and squeeze out excess. Lay over my face for 20 secs or so and wipe off thoroughly. That's it. Pat dry with a towel and face like a baby's bottom! 😜

I remove the excess oil but generally don't worry about rinsing and when my face is dry, I lightly massage in another 1/2 tsp. In the mornings, I just rinse my face with warm water and apply oil.

Once a week I use the face mask - natural yoghurt; raw organic honey and ground turmeric. Works as an exfoliant and then leave for 20 mins and wash off (carefully or I look a bit like Homer Simpson... )

It's safe to use around your eyes. It reduces puffiness, dark circles, fine lines, redness and irritation.

I have used both coconut oil and extra virgin olive oil on my skin. Both work well but I prefer almond. Give it a try!