You have the first three years not to screw your children up, time out is damaging, and so is leaving little ones to cry it out

[Lardlizard]

Hwre

Totally agree with this guy

So he has no idea what he is talking about then, as ADHD is not linked to childhood trauma.

There’s significant overlap in symptomology between ADHD and trauma response, and it’s well documented that there are much higher levels of ADHD diagnosis in children who have experienced trauma and adversity to the point where there’s a query about how often ADHD might be a missed trauma response.

Not all children who have ADHD have experienced trauma, but a high number have. It’s not true to say there’s no link.

He says his views are time out are sending the message that your love is conditional

Any form of discipline that focuses on the child rather than the behaviour potentially communicates conditionality. In the context of a secure, responsive relationship the child can tolerate a bit of correction - very different if the whole of the relationship communicates conditionality that’s quite different but we communicate messages to children all the time, some of which place conditions on their worthiness and acceptability (behave like this, nice girls don’t do X, big boys don’t cry, pass your exams, do well at school). I agree that there’s something very wrong with society in how we understand and value people, including children, but time out is a tiny part of that.

He might be brilliant in his work with addicts and have many professional successes. He might even talk sense when it comes to some parenting common sense "rules.

There's no way I agree with his views on ADHD.

Rather than an inherited disease, Attention Deficit Disorder is a reversible impairment and a developmental delay, with origins in infancy. It is rooted in multigenerational family stress and in disturbed social conditions in a stressed society. In Scattered Minds, Dr. Maté offers a completely new perspective on this disorder, providing hope for adults with ADD, and parents seeking to support their children.*

just been googling this question after listening to when the body says no and this thread came up

Ahhh so your DD is 13 and you’re giving advice on teenagers 🤣