Which child gets the second ensuite?

[Camdina]

Yes, another first world problem...anyway...

DH and I have 4 DCs - DTs11, DS8, DD5. Currently in a 5-bed house with 1 ensuite and 1 family bathroom.

Need to move house for DHs job. Found a house we like and are proceeding with. 5 bedrooms again so all kiddos still get their own room. Great. Master bedroom with ensuite for DH and I. Lovely. Then 4 more bedrooms. Bedroom 2 is the largest of those and also has it's own ensuite. Bedrooms 3 and 4 are similar sized to each other, and bedroom 5 is pretty tiny. And then a very small family bathroom.

So who goes where? Who gets the large 'premium room' with it's own ensuite?! Can't even take the easy option and just give it to the oldest, since they are twins (unless you start counting the 2 minute difference in birth time..)

So what would you do and who would you put in which room?!

Can you reconfigure the upstairs so it's a jack and jill bathroom or another family bathroom?

DD gets the en suite so that the family bathroom becomes a girl free zone. En suite is overflow bathroom until DD needs privacy.

Who would want to share more - the girls or the boys? I'd give them the option of sharing. Make it clear they have to keep it clean etc (basically not making it a mess, not scrubbing the loo). I'd prob offer the boys it first as they're older.

Then the other two get the next two rooms and the tiny box goes as extra storage for toys / clothes / home office

Ah I just miss sexed your 8 yo.

Offer it the twins and offer them the box room as a safe space / whatever. In theory they're be out to Uni in 7 years at which point the 5 yo will be 12 and it'll nice for her to have her own bathroom so she gets it when they move. So ds8 gets the next biggest room and DD the smallest of the doubles

Just follow the time served tradition of letting your kids run in to the new house and bagsy the rooms they want. I spent many years rubbing my hands with glee that I had the best room in the house, which was also the smallest. Kids don't view bedrooms the way adults do, there's time enough for them to do the Phil and Kirstie routine when they grow up and get their own houses.

Rotation seems fairest, but pitch it to the twins to get their opinions. You could have the same base furniture so when it comes time to swap (say yearly) they are are only moving soft furnishings/clothes/toys.

Twins in en-suite, box room as a gaming room, full of beanbag chairs etc

I would also say that the two who want to share get the large room with en-suite (who ever that may be) and the box room be converted into a gaming room

I'd partition the biggest room with an en-suite so that it's two rooms and see which two dcs want it

DD gets ensuite, no discussion about swapping in X years or allowing others to use it, you don't want DS8 to establish rights to using it as could be hard to re-establish rules when she hits puberty. You'll have another three toilets? 1 downstairs, your ensuite and the main bathroom (I assume) so no hardship to give DD her own personal space.

Twins share and get the en-suite, the other two get the other bigger rooms, small box room not used, or becomes a study, or play Ron or whatever

One of the DT - they can toss a coin or take in turns, or share if they prefer.

DD then gets it when they go to uni, which will be as she is hitting her teens, so perfect timing.

"so no hardship to give DD her own personal space"

• especially if the gaming room (spare room created by the twins sharing) becomes the boys' den as well by sheer weight of numbers.

Whatever you decide, set expectations from the start that you will move them around once they start leaving home. If one of the older DC gets the en-suite, they don't have squatters' rights on it once they are no longer living at home full-time.

And it’s not even squatters rights! More akin to absentee second home owner who pops in for a week or two a year !!!

I'd also say that the large room with en-suite is shared (by whichever 2). It's not really fair for one kid to have a big room with an en-suite and another to have the box room? At least if 2 share the largest room then then two in the medium sized rooms nobody is particularly hard done to.

(I don't know why the fuss about kids sharing rooms, loads have to do it by necessity and manage just fine)

Hi, having been in a house with 2nd Ensuite with teenage boys, I would advise making the 2nd nsuite out of bounds to kids. Only used by guest staying over. Otherwise you’ll be cleaning 3 bathrooms and loos- just keep to 2. If there is an emergency the kids can ask to use the Ensuite
Now look at who needs what space. IMHO the middle years kids tend to need more- games tend to be more physical, more likely to have unsupervised play dates and sleepovers. Older teens needs bed, desk and clothes storage. And under 7s still want to hang with parents more than others.
So, give teens the 2 equal size rooms- make them proper teen hang out spaces.
Middle boy gets large room- but set up as a playroom, sleepover room, guest room. Put a sofa bed in. Put in storage for all kids toys that they don’t use regularly.
Daughter into the small room- but decorated to how she wants and use cabin bed to create extra space.
If any kid has sleepover, middle one swaps rooms for the night- big room always being sleepover room
When twins get to 18 the middle one shifts to the middle size teen rooms, daughter to the large room. Twins toss for other middle room and small room( obvious redecorate it then 😂).
At the point your daughter starts periods ( she’ll be in big room) you can offer her use of Ensuite so she doesn’t have to share with a crowd of young men.

I love the way people assume the twins should share because they are twins . Wow

This thread is reminding me of the Aesop's fable about the man, the boy and the donkey. Clearly the OP and her DH should be in the shed thus putting an extra en-suite room into play.

Do they all want it?

Dd1 (7) has our second en-suite and has to keep it clean. She cleans the sink every day and sprays the shower. I clean it properly once a week but she has to keep on top of the mess she makes with toothpaste in the sink!

Would any of your kids keep up with/want to do this?

Otherwise I'd give it to your youngest tbh and I'm usually one to say that the oldest wins the biggest room rights. She'll be there the longest and will appreciate the privacy in about 5 years. She would have to give it up for guests.

@Itisbetter

I love the way people assume the twins should share because they are twins . Wow

Surely more likely because they are the same age. I wouldn't put an 11 year old in with an 8 year old if there was a 12, 11 or 10 year old available.

Just ask them. Each child may have a weird quirk. I would have always chosen a room nearer to my mum and dad as I was scared of murderers! I’d have gone for the box room over a bigger room down a scary corridor. My sister was aloof and private so she would have taken the box room if it was further away. If it doesn’t work out, draw straws.

I would also probably have found the bathroom scary so probably wouldn’t have wanted an en-suite either.

We put smallest in largest room, it also is spare room and he gets put out when visitors stay (not that we have had any this year!)

Do the Dc actually view an en suite as a perk? That seems quite an adult view.

Whoever is in it, I would say ‘the third bathroom is through xx’s bedroom’.

We all moved bedrooms quite a bit as kids depending on who needed homework space, play space etc. The decision you make now can be changed in a few years as theY go through different phases.

Is there a room downstairs that can be a playroom for the youngest two? Or a homework / study space for the older ones once they start secondary?