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Original poster

Which child gets the second ensuite?

131 replies

Camdina · 14/10/2020 22:29

Yes, another first world problem...anyway...

DH and I have 4 DCs - DTs11, DS8, DD5. Currently in a 5-bed house with 1 ensuite and 1 family bathroom.

Need to move house for DHs job. Found a house we like and are proceeding with. 5 bedrooms again so all kiddos still get their own room. Great. Master bedroom with ensuite for DH and I. Lovely. Then 4 more bedrooms. Bedroom 2 is the largest of those and also has it's own ensuite. Bedrooms 3 and 4 are similar sized to each other, and bedroom 5 is pretty tiny. And then a very small family bathroom.

So who goes where? Who gets the large 'premium room' with it's own ensuite?! Can't even take the easy option and just give it to the oldest, since they are twins (unless you start counting the 2 minute difference in birth time..)

So what would you do and who would you put in which room?!

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 14/10/2020 23:46

Is put the girl in the en-suite. May seem sexist but I have 2 boys and 1 girl and from experience girls have a lot more stuff than boys, more clothes, and as they get older make-up, hair stuff, they like to display more stuff like cuddly toys, ornaments, photos etc. More shoes and clothes etc etc.
Then there is the teen girl issue. I think it would be much nicer for the DD to have her own bathroom to do face masks in, deal with periods, shave legs, wash hair etc etc and would benefit and appreciate a private bathroom a million times more than the average teen boy!

negomi90 · 14/10/2020 23:55

As an oldest child, I'm normally all for perks of being older.
But with twins that's downright cruel. Oldest by 2mins has never functionally been the oldest, never noticed that parents are suddenly less available to them (the way even a 9month old can - as mum's distraction with twin 2's delivery is within minutes of twin's birth). It doesn't count.
In this situation oldest rules cannot apply because twins. But you can have a conversation with them about if they want to share and have that room or have their own rooms (and give them the equally sized rooms). If the twins want their own rooms, I'd put the girl in the ensuite, so all the family bathroom is loo seat up and she has loo seat down in hers.

Ariela · 15/10/2020 00:10

Lock the en suite / fill it with your least used junk so it cannot be used. Life is too short to spend yet more time cleaning another bathroom.

Problem solved.

Justajot · 15/10/2020 00:18

Not the same family structure, but we have agreed with DD1 that she can have the en suite until she goes to university and then DD2 will get that room. There's a 4 year gap, so DD2 will have a decent length of time in that room once DD1 leaves.

You could agree something like that with your DTs - one gets 3 years, then the other. So not switching every year, but all get a reasonable turn.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 15/10/2020 00:20

What's the floor plan like? We could convert an en suite into a Jack and Jill bathroom so two bedrooms have access to one en suite.

BashfulClam · 15/10/2020 00:35

@sunshinerays did you read the OP, the oldest are twins!

BashfulClam · 15/10/2020 00:40

@LadyLoungeALot I was stuck in the box room as the youngest and it was shite. My brother had a massive room, overlooking pine trees and grass with loads of natural
Sunlight and warmth. My bedroom was tiny and cramped with no space for anything. It was the other side of the house so was always shaded and really cold as underneath was a hall cupboard and bin store. So no rising heat. when my brother headed off to do his phd the car hadn’t even got out of the street before I was moving my stuff into the better room.

Sleepingdogs12 · 15/10/2020 01:29

Logic tells me that the boys should share the family bathroom and your daughter have the ensuite but then the issue is the smaller bedroom size as usually the youngest would have the smallest room. Can the rooms be evened up at all or would one of the boys prefer a smaller room . Can you make the ensuite accessible from the landing? All a bit tricky , but first world problem really.

YoungDino · 15/10/2020 01:42

How much bigger is the master bedroom? Could you put the twins in there and take the second bedroom for you and DH? If there's a big difference, you could put a screen or something in there so they would have privacy?

Or as another poster suggested, see if anyone wants the tiny room, and if not, give it to the middle child to offset some of that middle child syndrome!

YoungDino · 15/10/2020 01:44

Also how small is the box room? Is it just a box room compared to the other rooms or is is genuinely small? I had a friend complain about his box room only to discover that it was 3x3m, in other words, the same size as the master bedroom in my terraced house!

ShopTattsyrup · 15/10/2020 02:22

I'd say that bedroom with ensuite should be shared, offer it up to any pair who wants to share, with the incentive that the box room will be a den/play room/study for them to use as well.

If no takers - pull names out of a hat on the same basis.

earthycarrots · 15/10/2020 02:50

The twins as that's the bonus for sharing a room and they are the oldest. The others can get it when the twins move out.

Kokeshi123 · 15/10/2020 03:18

I would set a (modified by age) tidiness challenge for a month. The winner can have the en suite.

Ginandplatonic · 15/10/2020 03:21

That’s a really tough one. If budget allows I think I would see if there was any way to reconfigure to make the situation fairer - open en suite to hallway, make box room bigger etc.

Failing that I’d probably ask if any kids want to share the en suite room, and if not give the girl the ensuite, twins the equal sized rooms and youngest son the box room. And try and find some perk for him elsewhere.

BritInAus · 15/10/2020 03:40

twins in the equal size room, maybe DD in the ensuite room. She'll appreciate the bathroom/privacy more as she gets older, then when she leaves home, presumably your younger son can enjoy a few years in there.

Whoever has the ensuite room tho, I'd put a double bed in there for them, and a bunk/pull out elsewhere, with the deal that the child in the ensuite room must give it up for guests.

Alternatively if you have frequent guests, set it up as a nice guest suite, and then everyone can use the ensuite as a second family bathroom when there's no guest there. Maybe youngest in the smallest room then as she'll have more large/downstairs toys to play with and eventually will get a 'turn' in a bigger/better room?

HeronLanyon · 15/10/2020 05:08

It is a conundrum !
Option a
I think I’d give the twins the similar sized rooms.
Your middle boy the en-suite.
Your 5 year old girl the smallest room.
Then (written family agreement)

In 4 years your middle and daughter swap.
I think the faff of a weekend or two of swapping them, deep clean of en-suite and potential decoration would be worth it in the name of fairness.
Option b
Even as I wrote that realised this would mean dd sharing bathroom 5-9 with twins 11-15 not great for any. So reluctantly I’m coming around to
dd in en-suite now (but seems a waste for a 5 year old !).
The other three drawn by lots and possibly a swap in 3 or 4 years for the box room to get some time in bigger room.

If the box room is in fact ok then no need for swapping around.
It’s a tough one !!
I know children all in good rooms and you and dh in bunk bed/blow up mattress/sofa in sitting room/tent/garage !!
Any chance/desire/funds to extend upwards ?

OverTheRainbow88 · 15/10/2020 06:43

I would pull out a hat.

Jojobythesea · 15/10/2020 07:49

@LadyLoungeALot

I'd have loved a tiny box room as a child! Much cosier. You should ask if anyone wants it, OP- maybe one of your kids is as weird as me!
Actually my brother who was the youngest loved little rooms too 👍
Spied · 15/10/2020 07:59

Twins in en-suite 2nd bedroom.
Box room I'd put in some filing cabinets, a desk and some shelves and make it into a study/mini library.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/10/2020 08:07

The only girl gets the ensuite. That way she won't have to put up with a messy toilet and seat and she will have privacy at puberty.

OpEd · 15/10/2020 08:13

The twins share the en-suite, the other two have normal bedrooms and then you have a spare room/snug/study.

JanewaysBun · 15/10/2020 08:17

I actually agree with the poster upthread. En suite is the link room, youngest I'm the smallest room them when she's 12 and twins are 18 and at uni/working let her move into the big room, that way every one gets 6 years in a big room.

This is why I hate en suites, better robhave 2/3 family bathrooms imo! (And also then you don't have to lie in bed hearing DH poo!)

Pumpertrumper · 15/10/2020 08:19

I agree with others if only one child is a girl I’d give her the en-suite. It’s pretty embarrassing when you go through the start of periods and have to share with your DF/DB’s... I know first hand. We had one bathroom in our house

MiddleClassProblem · 15/10/2020 08:21

@JanewaysBun

I actually agree with the poster upthread. En suite is the link room, youngest I'm the smallest room them when she's 12 and twins are 18 and at uni/working let her move into the big room, that way every one gets 6 years in a big room.

This is why I hate en suites, better robhave 2/3 family bathrooms imo! (And also then you don't have to lie in bed hearing DH poo!)

What about the middle child? Always forgotten 😂
Itisbetter · 15/10/2020 08:25

Youngest gets the en-suite, family bathroom gets split into two showers and a toilet all with doors so many people can use it at once and becomes the boys facilities. Trust me, I have five children. Wink add enough basins with shaving mirrors and a laundry chute and you’d be perfection.Wink

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