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Original poster

Today was our last normal day for a while.

107 replies

bloodywhitecat · 09/10/2020 21:12

We woke up as usual to the sounds of the babies in their cot. DP got up, got washed and dressed,, went downstairs and made his lunch for work then came back up with a bottle for smallest baby and a cup of milk for slightly bigger baby. Then DP headed for work. I spent the day with the babies and the dog doing all our usual stuff. Today was DP's last day at work. On Monday we all go into isolation for two weeks. On Monday 26th Oct DP goes into hospital to have one third of his pancreas, his duodenum, his bile ducts and part of his stomach removed. He has pancreatic cancer and this op is his only chance of seeing Christmas 2021.

I have no idea what our future holds and I am scared.

OP posts:

felineflutter · 09/10/2020 23:16

So sorry to hear this OP. Sending best wishes and love to you all.

Chickychickydodah · 09/10/2020 23:17

My love to you all 💐

HuggedTheRedwoods · 09/10/2020 23:26

Can't really add more than other posters but sending you, DP and your family love, positive thoughts and wishing you all years of ordinary normal days to come on the other side of DPs operation.

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Families

Fishfingersandwichplease · 09/10/2020 23:27

Wow this puts everything into perspective. Wish you and your family all the very best xx

Busybrain2020 · 09/10/2020 23:28

Sending you love and strength. I hope the operation is a really really good success.

Chasingsquirrels · 09/10/2020 23:28

The very best of luck to you all bloodywhitecat.

Marmite0nToast · 09/10/2020 23:31

Such a scary time for you all - sending much love, thoughts and prayers.

IceCreamSummer20 · 09/10/2020 23:37

Big hand hold from me. It’s okay to be scared. It shows you have energy somewhere that will propel you and keep you going.

I imagine that your world will not feel normal. But it will be full of normal things. The small things. The babies hands. Noticing the weather. Cups of coffee. Making dinner. Holding hands. That is where you will get some little bits of strength that will carry you through. All those little pieces of life will hold you together.

AriettyHomily · 09/10/2020 23:45

I have no idea what to say but didn't want to ignore. Make the most of your two weeks, try not to drive each other nuts.

PoppyFleur · 09/10/2020 23:50

I wish I had words of comfort in this tough time. I hope you have support in real life and are surrounded by love and kindness.

willowtree81 · 09/10/2020 23:52

❤️ take some little videos of the next two weeks, of the babies and him, and you, then you can play them to him when he's recovering. Or WhatsApp them to him when he's in hospital if you're at home. Sending ❤️ your way.

CormoranStrike · 09/10/2020 23:53

OP I am in awe of your strength - in so many ways - and wish you and DH well.

RandomMess · 09/10/2020 23:54

hamstersarse · 09/10/2020 23:54

I am so sorry - I lurked on your other thread and prayed that it wouldn't be this.

My family has been affected by PC and it is devastating. My dad had the whipple which I guess is what your DH is having. I hope it goes well.

I know you won't feel like listening to a randomer on the internet, but 10 years down the line for me from a PC experience, I wish I had known about this:

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212877819304272

cancerandmetabolism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/2049-3002-2-18

academic.oup.com/cdn/article/4/Supplement_2/315/5845500

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5624453/

Sounds ridiculous, but the pancreas and sugar /carbohydrate are so interlinked. Changing diet in these 2 weeks leading to surgery to totally eliminate sugar and carbohydrate and induce ketosis could be really really really worthwhile

Good luck, I really hope the op and outcome is positive. Much love

Natsel84 · 09/10/2020 23:55

Big hugs op

Patienceisvirtuous · 09/10/2020 23:56

Best wishes to you and your family OP 😘

Romemarie · 10/10/2020 00:05

Best wishes and Love to you and you husband and family. Will be keeping you in my prayers.

Original poster

bloodywhitecat · 10/10/2020 00:32

I am overwhelmed, thank you all.

Positive stories help, a lot. I am taking it as a good sign that the surgeon said he doesn't usually advocate for surgery, he lets his patients decide but in DP's case he would strongly recommend he took the surgery route.

DP is scared but not a great talker so over the next couple of weeks he plans to decorate the spare room so my DD can come and stay to help with the babies (our birth children are all adults, the babies are our foster babies) as she is on half term that week. The hospital is 90 minutes from home so getting in to see him is going to be difficult during these COVID times. I am hoping to be able to spend weekends at DD's as she is only about 40 minutes away from the hospital he'll be in.

I can't sleep. I haven't slept properly in days. I fell asleep OK tonight but woke up crying silently, who knew you could do that. Now I am downstairs with the mutt, even he's snoring next to me. I have a GP appointment on Monday so I am going to ask for something to help me sleep over these couple of weeks because once he goes in I won't feel comfortable taking sleeping tablets in case the babies wake in the night.

One of the babies celebrates their first birthday two weeks after DP goes in for surgery so he has set himself the challenge of being well enough to be discharged home that day. I have my fingers crossed for him because I know how much that would mean to him (and baby, the baby idolises DP, he toddles up to him and holds his arms up for a cuddle).

OP posts:

jessstan1 · 10/10/2020 00:32

I can't add to what others have said. This is so sad and worrying for you both, makes all our lockdown problems pale into insignificance. Bless you.

hamsterarse: the pancreas and sugar /carbohydrate are so interlinked. Changing diet in these 2 weeks leading to surgery to totally eliminate sugar and carbohydrate and induce ketosis could be really really really worthwhile

Yes, the pancreas secretes insulin.

Good luck.

Rubybluesy · 10/10/2020 00:51

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 10/10/2020 01:02

That's big Wishing you strength and good luck and hoping this keeps reminding you of the support MN can offer.

Okbutnotgreat · 10/10/2020 08:37

OP this makes the issues we as a family are dealing with pale into insignificance. We will be thinking of you over the next few weeks and hoping very much that it goes well and when you need to vent, MN is always here

Chosennone · 10/10/2020 08:49

positive thoughts and best wishes xx

Cam2020 · 10/10/2020 08:54

good luck with your husbands op. I understand what you're going through as earlier this year my partner had a nasty diagnosis too with life expectancy of a few moths to a year or so at most. 10 months on, he is still here and in good shape (considering). It's a terrifying, surreal time but things do settle. Enjoy the next couple of weeks together - there are so many positive stories of people exceeding expectations. Remember, doctors don't come armed with crystal balls - take it one day at a time.

Pancakeorcrepe · 10/10/2020 08:57

You sound like such a loving and warm family, looking after foster babies.
These are incredibly hard times. I wish you the best of luck.

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