For background DH is self employed, and usually plays sport twice a week after work, but if not playing sport is otherwise quite late home, so he doesnt see much of DC once he gets home (sometimes DS has already gone to bed)
DH sometimes says he feels sad about this but since he is able to finish early for sports, I think he sometimes prioritises that over spending time with DC. (Hes never able to come home early for parents evenings etc)
Next week is DS 10th birthday. DH said he had doubled booked himself and agreed to his regular sports match on that day. I asked if he was playing 2 matches (sometimes he offers to be a reserve for a different team) and he said no his normal group had changed what day they play and he hadnt noted it was DS birthday. (Fair enough)
Today I asked if he had cancelled and he said "I'm only playing 7-8.30" ....but he had apparently cancelled an earlier session.
He asked DS if he was ok to have his birthday dinner at 8.30pm. Except it wouldnt be 8.30 because that's the time he finishes playing.
I dont want DS to wait til nearly 9pm to eat dinner, and he will have school the next day. DS is really easy going and undemanding but I think it's not on to ask him to wait to eat that late, or to not spend time as a family because DH chose to be out.
I've asked DH to cancel but hes pretty reluctant.i think it's selfish to prioritise his hobby over DS birthday. (We once went to a school event on DS birthday which I felt really shit about, but it was a one evening only secondary school open eve which we had no control over)