What's the most difficult thing you've gone through?

[Iwonder777]

For me, a full on MH breakdown.

Felt like falling into a pit and nearly losing my life. Almost seems like a different persons experience now.

What have you survived? And can't quite believe you made it through.

Giving birth to my dead baby.

Telling my son his best friend died in a car crash 10 minutes after leaving Him at football. My son should have been in the car With his friend but I wanted him to run some errands.

My wonderful dad dying very suddenly and unexpectedly, and an operation 6 months later to remove cancerous cells from my cervix. I continued to work, study and party for 2 years; keeping busy, getting drunk and having terrible sex with terrible individuals. Then I just didn't get out of bed one day, by the third day of still being in bed i realised I needed some help and went straight to a counsellor. Ended up giving up my PhD with only a few months left to go as my mind just couldn't deal with extra stress. I still feel amazed at how something so ordinary (as in a common occurrence) completely floored me.

plump, it really is hideous, isn’t it? It happened to my DF when I was 15, but only diagnosed a week before he died, and he’d been so ill for such a long time. Although my life is good, his death changed everything. And poor DM has never got over it, not really.

, or to everyone and the hope of (continued) better days.

Very sudden death of my mum..... 5 days ago

Domestic abuse. There was/is no help available for ongoing family abuse (eg a parent you don't live with and when you are an adult).

The feeling of not being in control of your own destiny/life is awful. And knowing there is nothing you can do. Powerless.

Mental breakdown when I was 18 and again when I was 36.

Nursing my dad through cancer when I was 30 and he was 58.

I found out my FIL (who has spent lots of time around my dc) was a paedophile. And then shortly after found out that my stepdad (who spent even more time around my dc) was also a paedophile. In both cases, our mums lied to us and hid this from us so stepdads (neither is our dad) could access our dc and other dc in the family. It’s hell. You never know who you can trust anymore. Oh and also we’re now the baddies because everyone else is okay with it actually (these are both men who have been to prison). It does make you realise who your real ‘people’ are though and also how strong you are. I’ve become really comfortable in my own skin and fighting for what I believe is morally right. Even if our entire family is basically shit.

All these experiences sound so tough.

Watching my dear dad die of dementia, including seeing him starve to death after he just stopped eating. A very difficult 10 years. Now dm has Alzheimer's and I'm terrified she will have a similar experience.

TRIGGER WARNING

Feeling on the edge of insanity after having an ERPOC due to a missed miscarriage, and finding the foetus the next day.
Having an abortion because I knew I couldn't cope with another child and that the situation was all wrong for bringing another baby into the world (the right decision, but it tore me up for years).
Those are the biggest ones, but also:
Watching my dad vomiting his own blood up after his tumour broke through into his gut. I couldn't take it in that the reason the nurses in intensive care removed all invasive treatment was that he was going to bleed to death internally.
Knowing that one of my dcs had a disease that could kill them within months and having to fight to get them seen by someone who could treat them and potentially save their life (a very long story there...) Now adult child is in remission from the disease, but it could always rear its ugly head. Carrying the knowledge that your child could die before you is a massive burden.
Finding out that my other child has a genetic condition that would seriously impact their life.
I am very thankful for the things that are good in my life.

Rape at 17, PND after DS, late Miscarriage but it all definitely fades in the light of my best friend of 43 years (since we were 3) dying unexpectedly at the end of last year. She was the one who got me through all the previous shit stuff.

I've had some horrible and frightening situations when I worked in a prison unit, but in reality I found caring for a non-sleeping newborn more difficult.

Abusive childhood
Abusive marriage for 20 years
Severe PND where i planned my death every single day- no support from anyone
This year. My dad died after being at end of life for over a year. 3 weeks later lockdown started and i had to takeover care for my mum
Lengthy legal battle with the garage who broke our car
Diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer during lockdown
DS ( adult)with ASD had to move in with his dad as he became horribly abusive to me when he found i had cancer- this was 3 days before i had surgery.
Horrific complications from the surgery
DH was made redundant the same week. He has bi polar and had a total breakdown. Crisis team were called etc
I had to go back to work 2 weeks after surgery as we now had no money
Brother attempted suicide
Mum who i had been looking after since dad died told me after i had found out cancer was grade 3 that i had to be positive as other people had it worse. Would talk over me if i tried to discuss it
Brother tried to kill himself
4 weeks of radiotherapy- utterly alone. No support.
Severe burns from the radiotherapy so bad i couldnt sleep or move my arm. Pain like i had never known
Severe MH issues now,been diagnosed with complex PTSD. Reffered for urgent psych evalutation. Still having to work through this. Still alone as everyone thinks my treatment is done and ive just got to get over it.
As a result of all this my on going chronic illness has flared and im waiting to go back into hospital for a raft of horrible invasive tests including a colonoscopy.
If it wasnt for my kids i wouldnt be here :(

Huge hugs to all on here.

Losing my baby and then struggling to conceive

I've had a few. Nervous breakdowns and things like that. The thing that always sticks though is when i was primary school aged on a train with my chronically alcoholic and very drunk dad and i couldn't get him off the train at our stop.

A lovely member of the public must have rang the emergency cord and the whole train was stopped, the police got on and escorted us to the police station. Rang my mum from the police station and it was engaged and couldn't make contact. I was fine ultimately, but i just remember the feeling of very consciously thinking I'm seven but i need to be a very grown up adult right now and get my dad to where we needed to be. It never really hit me until i had dcs and the eldest got to that age and i realised seven is still a baby.

I also had abusive mother and have struggled in relationships as a result but feel like I have grown past that finally

Losing my dad extremely suddenly and when ds was only 2. It felt like the floor had dropped out of my world.

The death of my daughter. Almost eleven years ago but it changed me forever. A part of me died too.

Losing custody of my two eldest children, homelessness and true can't-afford-to-eat poverty.

Abusive 1st marriage which I eventually ended before he managed to destroy me. Married a lovely DH, but our first child together was born following a botched delivery and is now seriously disabled.

I still am grateful for my Dcs and am grateful for all the good things we now have as a family

@warmsausagetea it truly is hideous. My dad had been unwell for so long before and was diagnosed a year before his death. He had treatment for it and it honestly just prolonged his suffering. My mum was a trooper through it all. Honestly don't know how she did it but like you while my life is good, its changed how i feel about everything. It was 11 years ago.

The divorce of my parents due to my dad's drug use at 11, being raped at the age of 13, attempted suicide and the all consuming guilt and anger when I survived, the death of a close friend when I was 21.

I'm 30 tomorrow and only just starting to feel like I'm climbing out of the darkness. I don't dare get too hopeful unless something else horrible happens and I am totally crushed.

My ds is quite likely the reason I am still alive, he is a damn good reason to live.

Telling my two DS at 14 and 9 their father had died (he committed suicide)