Song lyrics that infuriate you

[JimmyJabs]

I'm sure this has been done before but I just heard Moonlight Shadow on the radio and it's set me right off. "4am in the morning"! A.m. MEANS morning, Oldfield, you oaf. It's tautological and really pissing annoying.

Also, Razorlight's woeful effort "I met a girl, she asked me my name, I told her what it was".

Share your annoyances so that we can all be enraged too!

I don't mind vernacular or slang in songs as a rule: 'The Wall'; 'Ain't Nobody'. Fine.

'Concrete jungle where dreams are made of' is an abomination, especially as the next line is 'There's nothing you can't do' so the obvious rhyme was ' . . . where dreams are made true'. Which isn't great, but is better.

There was a parody version of the Shaggy song that sounded so authentic, I can't believe it wasn't recorded by him in the same studio with the same musicians straight after the official one.

It was called "Caught One-Handed" and, glad to say, no women were involved at all (well, possibly pictorially....).

Actually, I was slightly mistaken there - is mummy was very briefly involved, as she was the one who caught him one-handed....

They just played 'Relax' by FGTH on Radio 2 and I'd forgotten, but he randomly makes that disgusting sound like he's puking up in the middle of it. Thinking about it, the singer in Faith No More did the same in their version of 'Easy Like Sunday Morning' - more of a 'Oops, I've just followed through' sound than being sick. What is the meaning of this? Ghastly!

'Abra, abracadabra I wanna reach out and grab ya'.

Fuck off ya creepy arsehole.

The Beautiful South 36D. Victim blaming, misogynistic drivel - poor powerless punters and the all-powerful prostitute (or even just woman with big tits)

Come over here just sit right down
Needn't comb your hair, needn't pout or frown
I hear you've turned our young men
Into dribbling clowns

You're just another 365 night stand
But you're so handy, you're so handy
You cheapen and you nasty every woman in this land
But you're so handy, you're so handy

Your name is always mentioned in the jokes we crack
You're coach and horses and you're wolf packs
Your poses turn the passive into maniacs
But you want more

WTF!

Oh god, @BeenToButtonMoon that's vile - I hate the Beautiful South anyway, but that takes the biscuit. 36D isn't even that big, although I realise that's the least problematic part of what you've quoted...

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll I've always found that "ewww!" noise in Easy Like Sunday Morning really funny. I didn't realise that there was a chunder moment in Relax as well. Will toddle off and investigate.

that disgusting sound like he's puking
He's not puking...

Grim isn't it JimmyJabs? Apparently it's the reason the female singer at the time left the band. What winds me up most is that he clearly thinks he's being really witty and clever. Knob

@MiddleOfThePack

Can't stand 'Hallelujah', by Leonard Cohen. Nasty vicious lyrics and if anyone else sings it on rubbish talent shows I'll scream!

Along with Nessun Dorma: There are other songs out there you know.

That's one of my favourite songs. The Jeff Buckley version, anyway. I want it at my funeral, together with I Am The Resurrection by the Stone Roses, and Common People by Pulp.

Some of these songs seem to have been almost wilfully misunderstood!

Aqualung is about a sleaze, nasty lyrics about a nasty man

Up the Junction is, much like Too Much Too Young, is written from a perspective... one throwing away all that was good for drink the other, like Young Guns, being hassled by your mates for not 'wearing a cap'

Isn't the bottle if water filled with tequila something he thanks her for as he was supposed to be the designated driver and wanted to have more fun..? Oops!!! Still bloody stupid.

Hallelujah had so many changing verses. Cohen write new ones, dropped old ones, as his life changed, his views on religion, money etc changed. It was his spleen venting, deep thinking song for decades. All covers if it traduce it, vile, whisky or massively oversung twaddle.

But ye gods! WAP..
.

While I'm no Gilbert O'Sullivan fan, I do think Clair is simply him being fond of the little girl. I understand she was his manager's child, and GOS often babysat. I don't think there's anything sleazy about it.

Oh, and the needing space for a thousand beds is space in the relationship, the little time being asked for!

Baby It's Cold Outside isn't supposed to be sleazy either. It was written when it was a bad thing to want to stay, so she's making all the right excuses, but you'll notice she isn't actually leaving (maybe just half a drink/cigarette more). He's playing along, giving her even more reasons she can use to explain why she stayed.

I imagine it could sound creepy if you played it that way, but it's supposed to be playful. They both want the same outcome.

And Tommy Scott never sang

The female if the species is more deadlier he sang deadly and added a crooner drawl to the beginning of "than" - it's obvious if you see him as he sings it. Honest!!

The chimney on her lyric is a reference to the house falling on the wicked witch... A threat to a live rival.

Can I apologise at this point? I'm working my way through, on my phone, and REALLY enjoying the fleeting earworms.

EllieGoulding
How long will I love you
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I can
How long will I need you

You can not rhyme you with you IMO.. that's just repeating. NOT rhyming..

Des'ree

I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the thing I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

She's have been better having a roast.

Katy Perry's Firework..

as if the plastic bag wasn't bad enough, am I the only person to chant along with 'Boom boom boom' in a flat London accent, a la Baldrick in his famous Blackadder War Poem?

The Firework shite by Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

I can safely say that I have never felt like a plastic bag in my life.

Having said that, I never realised that a plastic bag had the cognitive capacity to want anything, let alone start again, so maybe I've been doing them a disservice all my life.

@Zaphodsotherhead

Katy Perry's Firework..

as if the plastic bag wasn't bad enough, am I the only person to chant along with 'Boom boom boom' in a flat London accent, a la Baldrick in his famous Blackadder War Poem?

I hadn't, but I certainly will now 😂😂😂

Another Duran Duran one - "you're about as easy as a nuclear war".
Quite tricky then.

that disgusting sound like he's puking
He's not puking...

I said LIKE he's puking We all know what the song is really about - having a nice relax in your armchair with your feet up, a nice mug of tea and reading the Sunday papers....

The lyrics in the Postman Pat theme tune have always bugged me.

"There'll be knock, ring, letters through your door."

Just post 'em through, mate. No need to knock or ring. Especially as it's early in the morning, just as day is dawning.

Great thread. I hate the ‘Pina Colada’ song. No grammatical errors that I’m aware of but it’s just shit.

The use of ‘lady’ throughout is cringey. Then:

‘If you’re not into yoga
If you have half a brain’

and

‘I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red tape’

Dreadful stuff.