Would you put a 1 yr old into nursery if you didn’t have to?

[FightMilkTM]

No judgement here on what people do with their own children, just looking for opinions.
My one yr old (13 month) has just started nursery two mornings a week whilst I work. There have been no tears at drop off; nothing ‘negative’ to report at drop off; all of the updates have been positive and the nursery has an excellent reputation... but I just have a nagging feeling that she’s too young. She’s there for five hours per session, so ten hours per week.
I don’t love my job, nor is it a ‘career’ that I wouldn’t be able to get back into. We could survive on my husbands wage (things would definitely be tighter) and I have my own financial interests if things were to go tits up between us (but nothing that could provide a regular income right now).
I’m tempted to quit my job and stay at home for at least another year but I’m not sure if it’s in my child’s best interests. She’s only in two mornings a week and her social life isn’t exactly packed with Covid; we probably meet up with other mums and babies once or twice a week on average.
I’m also a bit worried that the nursery will ‘blacklist’ us if we pull her out, we were lucky to get a spot and I’m doubtful that we would ‘get back in’ for three year funding etc....

No

I would have tried hard not to put a 1 year old into nursery for 5 long days a week, or put a child in nursery if they seemed to hate it.
But in your position, a happy child for 2 x 5 hour sessions, I don't think there's an issue. If it makes a significant difference to your families overall financial position, its probably better in the long run to work.
Things to think about - are you going to have more children? Maternity leave is a bonus. I've also found it's easier to negotiate the hours I want to work with a current employer with whom I have a good relationship than a new employer.

I think we all have to do what we have to, to survive and our children will cope with whatever they have to

2 x 5 hours?

Nursery is 7.45am to 6pm, 5 days a week.

What sort of job do you have that you can do in 10h a week?!

yes i would. it's damn tough being at home all day with a 1 year old.

I think nursery or a childminder can be the right thing for some babies if you don't have a family network or wider network where they meet others.

I wouldn't have sent mine before one if not necessary but that's in relation to them as individuals. But I'd also have had an extended family on tap in my ideal world and I didn't! My first child went to a childminder part time at c9 months and enjoyed it (work). My second child went to nursery (part time) at about 18 months as he was (is) bonkers and needed input from someone else!

@RednaxelasLunch a part time one...

Short answer, yes. You need a break from her, she will benefit socially. I did the same with 2 DC and would do again.

If I wanted a norovirus diet plan, sure

Personally yes, because by this point I need a little time to be me (at work me, but still using my brain and can chat as adult etc) but also because it's been really good for my sociable DD who's not really had a chance to be with kids at all during lockdown. I also think getting her used to the routine of it now will be easier than when she's older and might have developed separation anxiety.

I'm a better mum the 5 days I have her now vs when I had her 7days in lockdown, because the little break does us both some good! Might have been different outwith a lockdown baby because we could still do coffee dates /classes/go to the park etc more often though.

Yes, my 14 mo goes two days a week and loves it. Even if we didn't need childcare, I would send her. She gets to do a lot of stuff we can't/ don't do at home and she really does have a wonderful bond with her key worker. Personally, I do think she gets a lot out of it.

As a general rule l, no I wouldn't. I don't buy into the idea that children need to go to nursery or childcare to be socialised, I think it is something people say out of guilt! There are plenty of other ways to socialise children. My own children have attended childcare out of necessity but if I could afford not to work I would keep them at home until they went to preschool or perhaps even school.

Yes I would and I did. Two mornings a week like you.

That short time away from each other did us both the world of good. She loved it, settled really well. In my opinion it got her used to nursery so she never had wobbles when she went up to the bigger room. (She has had wobbles this week for the very first time, but that’s after 6 months off and Covid madness). Friends who’s kids started nursery at 2+ had separation anxiety and found it much harder at drop off and to settle in.

Go with your gut!

I wouldn’t do it and stay at home personally, DS is back in nursery but I have lost my job, I’m using the morning he is there for interviews and job hunting but I do feel guilt that I’m at home which is really strange because I wouldn’t judge someone else for doing the same but I do feel guilt about it.

No I wouldn’t and I didn’t send mine till he was 2.5yo.

Oh absolutely. My 15 month old is in full time 8-5 every day, he'll be going 8-6 when the place goes back to pre-pandemic hours. I'm not stay home home mum material.

I am a SAHM but DS goes to nursery for one full a day a week, and has done since 12m old. As much as it's great for me to have a day a week where I get to do all my life admin without a baby in tow, it's primarily for him and his development. He's our first baby and as much as we did lots of classes pre-lockdown, many of those classes haven't restarted and therefore he has little regular interaction with other kids on his non nursery days. He's now 16 months and his development has come on leaps and bounds since going. It's an expense that we don't necessarily need, but I do it for my child's benefit and his development, not my own.

She's absolutely NOT "too young", nursery has so many huge benefits and if you can afford for them to go, I think it's a wonderful thing to do.

I personally wouldn't at the age of 1 since they are still really a baby, if I could afford to stay home and spend time with them, but from 2-3 onwards I think it does help to start having some playgroup / preschool time independent from main carers. But wouldn't say it's a bad thing either.

But if the op could miraculously have all the benefits of working after 3 years would she rather have spend those 3 years with her baby?

Yes. I think most people would. You can be honest about that.

And you can have a nanny or family being childcare which is actually very different to nursery.
I don't know op I'd love to know!

If I didnt have to put her in nursery i woudnt bother. Sounds like you would rather she is with you.

My DC was in nursery from 11 months. Started with 3 days grew to 4 days. He seemed to enjoy it and I had to work so there wasnt much choice, then I wanted time to myself hence moving to 4 days. I dont feel guilty about it, worked for us.

Every family is different and you just have to do what works for you.

Hiya I think it's good for them to go to nursey etc...I had no choice with my little boy and at 9 months when my maternity leave was finished I had to go back to work...he goes to a childminder 3 full days and 1 half day...he absolutely loves it there and his childminder loves him to...even if I didn't have to work there is no way I would be a stay at home mom and look after our little one full time...I just enjoy working and having time to myself and enjoying adult company...I also think it's good for our mental health...I love having 1 day a week off with him thou and going places etc...he learns so much more aswel with his childminder and loves playing with the other children xx

Both mine went full time from 12m and both are absolutely fine.

I meant to add. I work full time.

You have a similar number of hours as I have with all my kids at that age. Honestly, I think it saved my sanity. But we are all different.