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Black mums matter topic

84 replies

PatricksRum · 11/09/2020 22:59

For anyone who wants to contour the discussion.

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SquirtleSquad · 11/09/2020 23:02

Have mumsnet been in touch "behind the scenes" OP?

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PatricksRum · 11/09/2020 23:03

Nope.

I've been racially abused, named the n word from year 1. Hardly an advert for "we're all the same."

You're talking crap

@Polkasquare

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DaughterX · 11/09/2020 23:04

What's contouring a discussion?

I haven't commented on the other threads. I just wonder if having a separate Black mums area will contribute to the general attitude that white = the default? Other than that it seems a great idea?

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PatricksRum · 11/09/2020 23:04

@SquirtleSquad

Have mumsnet been in touch "behind the scenes" OP?

Hi, yes.

Our wish has been granted so to speak.

Just mulling over ideas
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PatricksRum · 11/09/2020 23:05

@DaughterX

What's contouring a discussion?

I haven't commented on the other threads. I just wonder if having a separate Black mums area will contribute to the general attitude that white = the default? Other than that it seems a great idea?

The thing is, white is default. The only way to change that is if we are given equal opportunities, this being one of them.
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Polkasquare · 11/09/2020 23:18

@PatricksRum

Nope.

I've been racially abused, named the n word from year 1. Hardly an advert for "we're all the same."

You're talking crap

*@Polkasquare*

I didn't deny your experience, did I? I said that that might be what the other poster had been taught. It's quite a common thing for schools and organisations to teach children. If the other poster (can't remember their username) had been brought up like that it is understandable that she/he might feel that wanting a Black board would be strange.

We all come from different places and have different experiences.
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Quaagars · 11/09/2020 23:27

Started to reply to something on the other thread only to realise I was too bloomin' slow and it had already closed Grin
So read all the other comments since

and just wanted to echo this, feel the same
At the risk of being accused of being an arselicker blah blah. I think you are fucking amazing Patrick and wish MN had more posters like you. MN has turned into a shit show of a place and you give me hope that it might be ok after all

Hi, yes. Our wish has been granted so to speak
Great news!

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AMemeByAnyOtherName · 11/09/2020 23:27

I don't really think there are many adults who still live by the idealist mantras we were taught in primary school. Believe it or not, saying "surely we are all the same" has become a key phrase used to shut down people asking for provisions which counter the racism they experience on a daily basis.

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Polkasquare · 11/09/2020 23:32

@AMemeByAnyOtherName

I don't really think there are many adults who still live by the idealist mantras we were taught in primary school. Believe it or not, saying "surely we are all the same" has become a key phrase used to shut down people asking for provisions which counter the racism they experience on a daily basis.

Perhaps not many. I don't know. But plenty exist . Probably depends on where you live, who you know and to what extent you keep up with current affairs.
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DioneTheDiabolist · 11/09/2020 23:42

Congratulations on getting a board for black Mnetters OP.πŸŽ‰πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸŽ‰

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babycornplease · 11/09/2020 23:48

I am glad that mn has found you a space, but really, truly, I am a single parent, struggling tonight, and through life in general. I don't understand why the colour of my skin is important on a forum where I might wish to vent/speak or get advice from like minded women (or men!).
Life is as good or as shit to any of us. It doesn't pick which skin colour to be an arsehole to.

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PatricksRum · 11/09/2020 23:58

@Polkasquare

You could scream the planet is square be t it isn't.
You can be told we are all equal but white people's actions say otherwise.

So, I repeat, I wasn't taught that we are all equal. We aren't.

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PatricksRum · 11/09/2020 23:58

@Quaagars

Started to reply to something on the other thread only to realise I was too bloomin' slow and it had already closed Grin
So read all the other comments since

and just wanted to echo this, feel the same
At the risk of being accused of being an arselicker blah blah. I think you are fucking amazing Patrick and wish MN had more posters like you. MN has turned into a shit show of a place and you give me hope that it might be ok after all

Hi, yes. Our wish has been granted so to speak
Great news!

Thanks Quaagars Thanks

Exciting times ahead.
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PatricksRum · 12/09/2020 00:00

@DioneTheDiabolist

Congratulations on getting a board for black Mnetters OP.πŸŽ‰πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸŽ‰

Thank you unmumsnetty hug
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PatricksRum · 12/09/2020 00:01

@babycornplease

I am glad that mn has found you a space, but really, truly, I am a single parent, struggling tonight, and through life in general. I don't understand why the colour of my skin is important on a forum where I might wish to vent/speak or get advice from like minded women (or men!).
Life is as good or as shit to any of us. It doesn't pick which skin colour to be an arsehole to.

Imagine being a single parent AND being black.

I am, and it's worse than just being a single parent.

Being white doesn't mean you're automatically privileged, it just means your skin colour isn't one of your fights = privileged
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AMemeByAnyOtherName · 12/09/2020 00:27

@babycornplease when the news started to surface that Covid-19 was killing a lot more black and Asian people than any other race, my mum became very upset, actually crying, when I was talking to her on the phone. She was (and still is) petrified of just becoming another person killed by the virus. She asked "why do these things always have to happen to us" - referring to black people.

Unless you're religious or highly spiritual, or even fatalistic, there's no logical reason to believe that a virus is 'targeting' a group of people. But that doesn't mean that black people aren't upset or fed up of always feeling that they're on the back foot in life. So yes, sometimes it does feel like life is more shit for black people than other races, I'd challenge anybody not to feel that way after everything.

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JamieLeeCurtains · 12/09/2020 00:41

Being white doesn't mean you're automatically privileged, it just means your skin colour isn't one of your fights = privileged

One of the best explanations. Ever.

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pumkinistired · 12/09/2020 00:43

Great idea and good job πŸ‘πŸ½

I dont know what topics(different from the usual ones) will be there. I can venture a guess more towards a support group given recent events. I am interested and would love to see the board come live!

Secretly, i am scared to ask a black person a lot of questions, of being branded a racist (i am not racist i am genuinely curious)

I am not black nor white.. i guess BAME πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ it doesnt bother me when people are racist or ignorant because its just tiny bit of my life. BUT whats happening to black people are shocking beyond belief!

In IDEAL world yes everyones equal but its not ideal is it? So they need to be represented, elevated, businesses supported voices heard and this is one of them. ThanksSmile

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PatricksRum · 12/09/2020 01:12

@JamieLeeCurtains

Being white doesn't mean you're automatically privileged, it just means your skin colour isn't one of your fights = privileged

One of the best explanations. Ever.

Or more elegantly put, being white doesn't mean you don't have drawbacks, it just means your skin tone isn't one of them.
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PatricksRum · 12/09/2020 01:15

@pumkinistired

Great idea and good job πŸ‘πŸ½

I dont know what topics(different from the usual ones) will be there. I can venture a guess more towards a support group given recent events. I am interested and would love to see the board come live!

Secretly, i am scared to ask a black person a lot of questions, of being branded a racist (i am not racist i am genuinely curious)

I am not black nor white.. i guess BAME πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ it doesnt bother me when people are racist or ignorant because its just tiny bit of my life. BUT whats happening to black people are shocking beyond belief!

In IDEAL world yes everyones equal but its not ideal is it? So they need to be represented, elevated, businesses supported voices heard and this is one of them. ThanksSmile

Thank you.

Can I ask why racism doesn't bother you?

I wouldn't be scared to ask a black person a question, that just feeds into the "black people are aggressive thugs" thinking.
I'm yet to see a black person show hostility towards a non-black person asking a polite question. What I am hostile towards is the hidden racism within the questions, that wouldn't be found in How can I make a great curry goat? For example.
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Gilead · 12/09/2020 02:23

Life is as good or as shit to any of us. It doesn't pick which skin colour to be an arsehole to.
No it isn’t, look at university spaces, job offers, promotion opportunities. All more difficult to access if you’re Blackwells, thereby making life that bit harder.

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Gilead · 12/09/2020 02:24

If you’re black
Apologies, guess which bookshop I use!

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PatricksRum · 12/09/2020 02:30

@Gilead

If you’re black
Apologies, guess which bookshop I use!

Hahaha Grin
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Roussette · 12/09/2020 06:29

@PatricksRum

Kudos to you for getting your Board for black MNers. 😊😊😊

Personally I think it will be a very good thing for MN and I don't understand why there's been dissenting voices.

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Happylittlethoughts · 12/09/2020 07:53

Patrick'srum and posters
I'm glad there's a new thread as I was wondering what happened! Also delighted you now have the space you deserve.
I was gutted, and shocked, reading the willful lack of understanding and antagonism you received. A huge wake up lesson for me.
I cannot begin to understand the racism you experience daily but part of every woman should at least able to empathise if they reflect on the discrimination they encounter as women in this world.
I hope your Board is respected space . I'll certainly drop in to keep on top of my complacency and continue my education.
Good luck

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