DD has put forth the opinion that her bedtime is too early.

[MonkeyToesOfDoom]

She's 7 years old and has just gone up to year 3.
She said to me
"I really do think my bed time is altogether too early"
She said it in an old fashioned voice like one of the Railway Children...
She insists that 9pm would be a better bed time.
I ask MN, should anyone reply, what is her bed time?

She gets up at 8am and is no trouble in a morning at all. Her current bedtime is 8ish usually after teeth cleaning, changing PJ's, story and such it's around 8.30pm. Should i put it back to 9pm.

How about getting her to prove she can do the following;

Wake up herself and get ready without you being involved- an alarm clock rather than you waking her.

Upstairs from 8 but lights out at 9 - no electronics and she must be ready for bed and reading by at least 8:30.

I still have this rule with my 12&14.
They are in bed by 8:30-9 the older one reads until much later but never has a problem with getting up and will regulate herself. The younger one need to be told as she struggles to get up some days.

I have owls. Little bastard owls who I've had to fight from late, late sleeptimes as toddlers to about 9pm. (bonus - as toddlers they slept in until 8am)

And I do have to wake them 5 days a week but it's more that I'm their alarm clock (training DD1 Y7 and 11yo to listen out for her own alarm) and they bounce out of bed and get fully ready in 30-40 minutes. At weekends with no change in bedtime routine they're up and moving before 7am and making demands when I don't have to get out of bed for the schoolrun. Bastard little owls.

Are you a sleep expert of some description?

No, I am very much an amateur, however it is something I've looked at a lot over the years for various reasons, apologies if I sounded overly authorative!

For the recommendations, I have no idea why the NHS picks a single number for children, it's very strange, this is a paper which discusses the different guidelines
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6267703/
The Canadian guidelines which includes activity and stuff seem much better than the NHS advice on this
csepguidelines.ca/children-and-youth-5-17/

To me, it does sound like she is awake, but simply hasn't got up, I'd suggest you encourage her to get up when she wakes up rather than waiting to be called to find out. Falling asleep easily (low sleep latency) is probably the other good measure of a good sleep routine, does she when she decides to go to sleep fall asleep very quickly?

A child thinking their bedtime is too early? Is there a child who thinks differently?

My year 4 daughter is bed at 8, read for half an hour and she’s up for school at 7.

My 8yo DD goes to bed 7.30 lights out 8pm but we have to leave for school before 8am so she needs to be awake before 7am.

My 12yo is go to bed anywhen he likes between 7-9.30pm but at 9.30pm he needs to be in bed lights out no reading talking etc. Again he needs to leave before 8am so needs to be up before 7am.

If your child is getting up early enough then you could let her go half an hour later on a trial basis and go from there 🤷‍♀️

My DS is 6 and goes to bed at 8:30, reads and asleep by 9/9:30pm. He had additional needs though and does not need lots of sleep. If he went any earlier he would be awake at 4am. I would trail it and see how it goes not harm in trying

My DD'S go to bed at 6pm every week day and 7pm on the weekend they are 6&4 I have to awake them at 7Am for school on a weekend they usually sleep in till around 8:30-9am

6pm? that’s so early, mine were 7/7.30 when young. How will you accommodate a hobby like Brownies or dancing?

Completely dependant on child within reason! She’s testing her independence which is good and she asked for a conversation vs threw a hissy fit, so I’d definitely take her input and let her try later, maybe 30mins and see how she feels.. she’ll probably “stubborn it out” the first week if she’s anything like mine, but then if she’s tired probably revert... When mine pushed to start with we just talked about how it affected her moods, rethought, and worked back up slowly... the only downside I found pushing back bedtime was how much of your own evening you lose... Really notice the difference between 8pm child free and 8:45/9pm child free (mine’s 11)..

It's really fascinating me this range of bed times for the different children.
I'm also amazed at the whole alarm clocks and waking naturally stuff.

So I thank you all for your input.

Coincidentally, she's come home today with home work.. "write a schedule of your day"
She's sat and done it all and has now got it all down in paper... Including her "New" bed time schedule.

I give her credit for her hopefulness as I haven't agreed to this new deal as yet.. I also give her credit for her writing it out in an official manner..

..

Trial it for a week, see how it goes. It shows that you take her opinions into consideration and are prepared to be fair (important life lesson).

If for any reason it doesn't work, back to 8pm she goes.

You could haggle: you can go to bed at 9pm so long as you are in bed at 8.30pm and then you can read for half an hour.

Currently lights out at 9pm and 9.30pm at the weekend for my y3 7yo. She falls asleep easily at this time and wakes naturally between 7 and 7.30, sometimes nearer 8 at weekends and occasionally 6.30🙄.

This is a recent development, as she was moaning she couldn't sleep for a good while. NHS guideline says 10.5hours, and she has always needed less than guidance (stopped napping well before 2) so we pushed it back.

Also have a 4yo, who is asleep for around 8pm and wakes naturally around 7am.

I’d say you’ll review when she’s been back at school a week 😂 they are going to be tired after being off of school all week.

I love the way she asked!

I'd play it both ways. Currently bed at same time. Manages self but lights out at 8.30am.

But she has an alarm for 8am.

A whole week or 2 of alarms waking her and her being fine you'll do 8.15 bed with 8.45 lights out. But she can have 9pm fri and sat evenings.

Ig after half term she is still managing well she can have 8.30 bed and 9pm lights out.

Then from January I'd expect her to take responsibility for her own lights out.

She sounds an independent and capabale little thing and I think for those children giving the chance to self manage they can learn well to self regulate.

my 10 year old us asleep by @8.30 but we cdnt do the 8am wakeup as we have to be at school by 8.10am!!

If she sleeps well and gets up at 8.3O, I think 9 is fine.

@MonkeyToesofDoom, what a refreshing woman you are! I've been giggling away for ages. I'm absolutely with you on independent children. My girls were both independent and my grandchildren are too. I remember taking one GS to nursery when he was 3. He walked across to a table, picked up a bowl and chose his cereal & added milk. He got a spoon and took his food to a table with his friends on, sat down and started chatting & eating. His little sister is 4 and has been more or less dressing herself since she was 2. Sometimes the combos are a tad unusual, she now dresses herself, washes, does her teeth & gets her breakfast and gets annoyed if adults intervene. Today was her first day at primary school, she'd been at nursery for a year and said she'd helped the "little ones" get used to big school. You'd think she'd been there for years!

Well done you for bringing up a little girl with the confidence and skill to negotiate her privileges rather than wheedling, whining or taking a total tantrum to try and get the way.

The British have a real obsession with getting kids to bed super early, as you can see by some responses on this thread! If she’s getting up at 8am, 9pm is a perfectly reasonable bedtime.

I feel 9pm is too late for a 7yr old. I actually feel bed time at that age should start happening at 7pm with teeth, story etc and lights out at 8.

Children aren't a homogeneous mass. I used to have to go to bed & have my lights out by 8. I used to read in the bathroom until the parents went to bed then read for another few hours before finally getting tired between 1 and 4 am. I still got up before my sleepy little sister who went old cold for at least 12 hours.

It would be 7.15pm in our house. Our children have always been very tired on school nights. And then there's time for adults to get jobs done and then have a bit of quiet time before bed.

@Bodynegative

Children aren't a homogeneous mass. I used to have to go to bed & have my lights out by 8. I used to read in the bathroom until the parents went to bed then read for another few hours before finally getting tired between 1 and 4 am. I still got up before my sleepy little sister who went old cold for at least 12 hours.

Both my children are still awake quite late because they just don't fall asleep. All the good habits and winding down and lights out has never made any difference except to make them lie in the dark fretting over every single little worry they have and blowing them out of all proportion. So now I just let them read until they are ready to fall asleep, and they are much happier for it.

I feel 9pm is too late for a 7yr old. I actually feel bed time at that age should start happening at 7pm with teeth, story etc and lights out at 8. But another 7 year old could go to bed at 8pm and get up at 7am, or bed at 7pm and get up at 6am. Surely it depends on how much sleep the child needs and the wake up time? Most 7 year olds don’t need 12 hours sleep.