DD has put forth the opinion that her bedtime is too early.

[MonkeyToesOfDoom]

She's 7 years old and has just gone up to year 3.
She said to me
"I really do think my bed time is altogether too early"
She said it in an old fashioned voice like one of the Railway Children...
She insists that 9pm would be a better bed time.
I ask MN, should anyone reply, what is her bed time?

She gets up at 8am and is no trouble in a morning at all. Her current bedtime is 8ish usually after teeth cleaning, changing PJ's, story and such it's around 8.30pm. Should i put it back to 9pm.

I was pretty strict on bedtimes, more for me than them tbh. At 7 it was 7.30. Any extension came in the form of extra reading time. I was a single parent though and that time was my time. Weekends were completely different with a much more relaxed bedtime.
I see no problem if you want to negotiate to something you are also happy with.

Only on MN do teenagers trot off to bed at 8.30/9! Do these teenagers get a say in this?
My DD15 is out until 9/9.30 bed by 10.30, later at weekends
I hate this attitude, see it all the time on MN. If you're not giving your teen all the freedom they want you're doing it 'wrong'.
My teens were NOT out during the week. They had a bedtime. Got more relaxed as they got older and we'd have nights/programs we'd watch together but there was still a 'bedtime'. Weekends were different, no bedtime. But never were they just 'out'

DD 15 next week goes up at 9:30 and reads until 10-10:30.

Really? Don't most people need an alarm or waking in some other manner?

People yes. Children no.

@CJsGoldfish
You’ve quoted me, my DD doesn’t have ‘all the freedom’ but she is allowed to make choices with guidance, she’s at friends to study, does a hobby.
Too many controlling parents on here that don’t allow their DC any say in decisions or teach them to self regulate, how do these parents expect their DC to go to uni/out into the world independently from mummy telling them what to do??

@MintyMabel

Really? Don't most people need an alarm or waking in some other manner?

People yes. Children no.

Children aren't people?

How odd...

@SBTLove

don’t allow their DC any say in decisions or teach them to self regulate

There's some posters that don't see their children as individual people.. just blobs of skin to follow commands I expect.

@MonkeyToesOfDoom
Your DD sounds a fab wee girl, I think an extra half hour that maybe doesn’t include dancing 🤣
Some very odd ideas on here by some very controlling parents.
My 4DC were very much like your DD; very independent and capable.
I’m a bit at the idea no child needs an alarm 🙄

[quote SBTLove]@MonkeyToesOfDoom
Your DD sounds a fab wee girl, I think an extra half hour that maybe doesn’t include dancing 🤣
Some very odd ideas on here by some very controlling parents.
My 4DC were very much like your DD; very independent and capable.
I’m a bit at the idea no child needs an alarm 🙄[/quote]
Thanks, I think she is. As does every teacher she's ever had. Very polite, intelligent and kind seems to be the usual comments. I don't know why she is how she is, but I think being independant is a good trait in people, no matter their age.

Very jealous of these 7 year olds going to bed at 7:30/8:30. My 7 year old doesn’t usually fall asleep until after 11pm and can be as late as 1am! I then drag him out of bed at 7am as we leave the house at 7:30am. I’m permanently exhausted!

My yr8 dc have just had their bedtime extended to 9pm 😂
They are upstairs from 8pm.

I guess it depends what time they get up, when you go to bed and how much adult evening time you need.

My DD is same age year 3. She goes to bed at 7,30 and allowed to read until 8. 9 would be too late for her she would be mega grumpy!

My kids are in bed much later than most of the posters here. And they're fine, they don't struggle to wake in the morning.

I'm always bemused by teenagers going to bed at 9pm. When do they get their homework fitted in? Particularly if it's on an evening where they have something else on like a class at the gym or football practice or whatever. Even my 8 year old isn't home from his swimming practice until 9pm.

I guess it depends what time they get up, when you go to bed and how much adult evening time you need.

I don't need any adult evening time, I'm at my happiest when my it's just me and my daughter.

(Not 100% sure what adult evening time even is? Is it like when the swingers in their gimp suits come round for lines of coke and vodka eye washes?)

My 9yo is in bed at 8pm on a school night (was 7:30pm last year) and 9pm at weekends

*Really? Don't most people need an alarm or waking in some other manner?

People yes. Children no.*

The vast majority of people of any age with good sleep routines will not need an alarm or anything to wake them. The thing about good sleep routines though is it's not simply "go to bed earlier", it's about going to bed at the right time, going to bed too early makes it harder to sleep and changes the routine.

Sleep needs are a range, and children generally have a much wider range than adults, 11 hours of sleep (the OP's 9pm to 8am) is on the high side of that range, but the lack of waking naturally may suggest it's required - or it may suggest that the child is actually awake in bed but has decided to not get up for some non sleep need reason.

DD is 9, she is rarely asleep before 11pm and wakes naturally before 8am, this is still within the normal range of sleep needs for an eleven year old. I'm 46, I sleep with difficulty sometimes, but generally by 1am, but still always wake naturally with no alarm by 7:30 at the latest.

Teenagers particularly will often need an alarm, due to their natural sleep cycles often being later than is possible due to schools start time, that of course makes good sleep routines difficult.

It is possible that sleeping too much and not waking naturally is an indication of metabolic syndrome - there's a correlation between those who sleep outside the average and poor metabolic health. Like all metabolic syndrome causes, exercise is the easiest method to improve it.

@sirfredfredgeorge

Are you a sleep expert of some description? Your post sounds very official and authoritative. If that's the case, would it even count as me waking her when I literally just stay inside her room and ask, "You awake Berryl?" And her saying she is. I'm not having to go in, shake her, open curtains, hand her her triple espresso and 10 fags.

This morning, for example, my alarm went off at just before 8, I got up, went the loo, as I passed her door I just said, "you up?" She said "yep" and by the time I came out the loo she was out her room and heading downstairs for the kitchen.
She got her bowl out the cupboard, poured her cereal, I put milk on, she carried it to the table. She ate it and headed back upstairs to get ready. She is now stood by the door all dressed, hair done, shoes on, book bag sorted, water bottle filled and she's ready to go. I've not prompted her, nagged her, shouted, raised my voice etc. As she's been busying around she's told me about the fire of London and that it started at a baker's etc.
Does that sound like an over tired and hard done too child I force awake every morning... With a wet fish to the face..?

@MonkeyToesOfDoom
Only 10 fags? neglectful parent 🤣🤣

8pm for my 7 year old. He is an early riser like me.

[quote SBTLove]@MonkeyToesOfDoom
Only 10 fags? neglectful parent 🤣🤣[/quote]
When I worked in a warehouse, we used to call that the full English.. 5 coffees, 10 fags. Can't start work until you've had your full English. 😝

I think this 'if you need to wake them then they're going to bed too late' thing explains why so many MNers have children who 'just naturally wake up at 5am, always have, no matter what'. Mine is younger but I'm always amazed at the people who moan about their toddlers being up at 5 but then it turns out they put them to bed mid-afternoon.

I think that counts as her waking up by herself. She's just not getting out of her bed.

My DS never needed much sleep. He stopped napping early. He usually jumps out of bed and even at 15 and during these months at home he rarely gets out of bed after 9, even though he has been going to bed at midnight or later most days.

So, it does depend on the child.

(Not 100% sure what adult evening time even is? Is it like when the swingers in their gimp suits come round for lines of coke and vodka eye washes?)

Sadly my life is far too pedestrian for this excitement!
But DH and I like to watch some TV shows which aren't age appropriate for my dc, good though their Spanish is I don't want them picking up the words in Narcos or watching breaking bad.
We also like to chat over our days and discuss things that aren't conversations for dc ears sometimes.

*Children aren't

Picky. Ok Adults yes, children no.

Requiring an alarm is a learned behaviour which comes from not having an appropriate amount of sleep.

My year 2 goes up at 7 30 - 7 45, has story etc and my year 6 goes up at 9. They both read til 10 as otherwise just lie there in the dark bored and fed up. They are still quite often awake til 11 or after but get up fine in the mornings. Big sleep ins on wkends though.
Give her an extra 15 mins as she asked so nicely?

My 7 & 9 yos have lights off around 9.

They naturally have a late shift and fortunately don't need to be up until 8 am, although DS2 has been creeping in to claim his tablet before my 7:20 alarm goes off ( the rule is that they must be dressed TO THEIR SOCKS, then the timer cuts them off when it's time to do the rest of the getting ready and mornings have been much better with that incentive, plus if they are pissing about at bed time I remind them that they will just end up sleeping through their morning tech session)

With activities like Cubs finishing gone 8pm, it's tough to get them in bed much sooner anyway.