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Original poster

DD has put forth the opinion that her bedtime is too early.

174 replies

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 07/09/2020 20:05

She's 7 years old and has just gone up to year 3.
She said to me
"I really do think my bed time is altogether too early"
She said it in an old fashioned voice like one of the Railway Children...
She insists that 9pm would be a better bed time.
I ask MN, should anyone reply, what is her bed time?

She gets up at 8am and is no trouble in a morning at all. Her current bedtime is 8ish usually after teeth cleaning, changing PJ's, story and such it's around 8.30pm. Should i put it back to 9pm.

OP posts:

thisyearsuckssofar · 07/09/2020 20:24

You know your child best. I'd be tempted to change gradually though. Perhaps an extra 15 mins at first. With ds, I gave him an extra 15 minutes every time he went up a primary year. He started off at 7.30pm in P1, so gradually went up to 9pm in P7. He's in the academy now and he's fallen into 9.15pm naturally. He's 11.

peakygal · 07/09/2020 20:25

My 7yo goes up at 8 to wind down and then asleep at 9

NothingIsWrong · 07/09/2020 20:26

My Y3 goes up at 7, lights out by 7.30. But she's in school by 7.40am, so up at 6.30.

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mbosnz · 07/09/2020 20:27

I think I'd say, 'well, I appreciate you've given this a lot of thought. I really do think that 8.30pm is a better bedtime for you for school days. As it is right now. How about we save 9pm for Friday and Saturday nights, and see how it goes?'

AnneBullen · 07/09/2020 20:32

Just going into year 4 DS has negotiated 8.45 about six months ago. I do need my evenings though so he goes up with his little brother at 645, has shower etc and gets ready and we listen to him read for 10 mins and say goodnight about 730. He reads until 845, normally comes down just before for a last kiss. I wouldn’t be staying with him until that time.

PlateTectonics · 07/09/2020 20:36

My DS is nearly 11 and goes up at 8. So I don't think your DD is too early at all! He's an early riser though (wherever time he goes to bed).

Xuli · 07/09/2020 20:36

We've just moved our 8yo to bed at 7.30 and lights out at 8.30, which seems to make her sleep a little longer in the morning. She has to have an hour's reading though, she can't sleep without it

stovetopespresso · 07/09/2020 20:39

cute thread! I'm quite lax with bedtimes and pretend not to notice the lights are still on at 10 sometimes for my ds10, hes readong which is great imo. its made it a non-issue for the most part, but if he's continuously tired in the mornings we have "a chat"

learningaboutmuscles · 07/09/2020 20:41

I think reply in the same tone of voice and accent "But you are altogether so full of energy at the moment we wouldn't want that to change, would we? If you were to go to bed later you might not be so frightfully good with words" : )

RiftGibbon · 07/09/2020 20:42

My 9 year old goes at around 9. Not a very good sleeper but does get up in the morning. An earlier bedtime here just results in me asking for quiet every ten minutes (next door have a small baby and DC likes to sing very loudly), or fielding 101 questions, or needing to go upstairs and urgently look at/listen to something.
Generally getting up time is 7.30, occasionally 7.40.

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/09/2020 20:43

If she is currently falling asleep when she goes up at 8and isn’t wide awake when you go in in the morning, then her bedtime isn’t too early. If she’s wide awake when you put her to bed And stays awake for ages then then a later bedtime would be fine. You could try the later bedtime at the weekend or in half term But still wake her at. 8 am and see if she’s grumpier.

lyralalala · 07/09/2020 20:44

Honestly, I'll wake her at 8am. She'll be up, wee, downstairs for breakfast by 8.05. breakfast done and upstairs to do teeth and change and she's back down by 8.30. brushes her hair, puts her shoes on, wipes them if they need it. Gets her water bottle sorts and her book bag and is waiting near the front door by 8.40.

I think given that, and given that she brought it up in a mature way, you should try it.

One of the best bits of advice my Nana ever gave me was to put my kids to best based on the sleep they need rather than their age. It's worked really well as I have one that needs a LOT of sleep, one that needs hardly any and the rest are average sleepers.

As long as she's getting enough sleep, isn't tired or cranky in the day, and is getting up well in the morning then it's worth trying. If you feel 9 is too late then maybe do it in increments of 10 or 15 minutes? Try it for a week before changing each one.

Frazzled2207 · 07/09/2020 20:45

my ds is the same age. Now he's back at school i am insisting on him being in bed by 8 but would be ok with him reading etc if he wanted to until 8.30 tops. He tends to wake about 7 though.

Arborea · 07/09/2020 20:45

How on earth do you all manage to get your kids reading at night? My 7 year old has never read for pleasure - gutting for someone who was a born bookworm!

Bedtime here is nominally 7.30pm following bath and story time (we have a bolshy 4 year old who will not be treated any different from the elder one) but they're not usually asleep much before 9, and they're typically up at 6.30 (sometimes a little later for the younger one) - we let them just bimble around, play with quiet toys, have a chat etc but we can't get them interested in reading (audio books are a different story!)

Stompythedinosaur · 07/09/2020 20:45

My 7yo (and 9yo) have lights out at 8.30 on a school night and 9 on a Fri or Sat night. 8.30 to 7am give the recommended 10h 30 sleep that a 7yo needs.

Frazzled2207 · 07/09/2020 20:46

@AnneBullen
that's cute! I can see a request coming from my eldest ds soon but like you I really need my peaceful evenings. Luckily mine likes reading too so that will have to be the plan.

Original poster

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 07/09/2020 20:47

Well shes in bed. After her dancing and pirouetting about the bedroom to show me how very not tired she is at 8.30.
I've told her she can lie and read until 9pm and dig out her old camping torch..

I think that satisfies her for now. But, I also think she's starting to learn that being nice and a just a little bit cute is a way to get grown ups to do her bidding...

OP posts:

lyralalala · 07/09/2020 20:47

@Arborea

How on earth do you all manage to get your kids reading at night? My 7 year old has never read for pleasure - gutting for someone who was a born bookworm!

Reading is something they either like or loathe I've found.

I'm a bookworm and so is DH. Of our 6 there are 2 absolute bookworms, 1 that actually hates books (that makes me want to cry), 2 that don't read for pleasure at all and 1 that can't read.

It's just luck.

DeathMetalMum · 07/09/2020 20:48

9&7 We go up at 7, get ready teeth etc then either read to the dc or they read to us for 20 minutes. Then they have books until 8 on school nights and as long as they like at the weekend. We didn't used to have a limit in the week, but dd1 went through a phase of reading until v late and then struggled to get up in the morning. We get up at 6.45.

covidmonkey · 07/09/2020 20:50

Dd8 have had bed time at eight but lately we let her stay up later. But after school started she informs us around eight that she is tired and goes to bed.

JoanJosephJim · 07/09/2020 20:50

I think it is interesting that you have to wake her in the morning as it is.

Ds1 who is 17 will head up to bed at 9.15 read for a bit and lights are out way before 10pm. But he is up at 6.30am.

Ds2 is 14, also goes up at 9.30 but even on weekends is naturally awake before 7am.

Both my children are morning children.

I would be worried about moving her bedtime in the first week of term. I volunteer in a primary school, there is massive competition as to who goes to bed the latest, some of them reckon they go up at 11pm. But I am witness to children yawning and flagging badly by mid afternoon, sometimes mornings! Brownies/scouts/dance etc can be late nights for children, they do pay for it the next day in school where you don't see it.

Dutchesss · 07/09/2020 20:51

She'll be up, wee, downstairs for breakfast by 8.05. breakfast done and upstairs to do teeth and change and she's back down by 8.30. brushes her hair, puts her shoes on, wipes them if they need it. Gets her water bottle sorts and her book bag and is waiting near the front door by 8.40.
Where did you get this child from and how do I buy one?

DelurkingAJ · 07/09/2020 20:51

DS1 (Y3) tried this argument so we had a sensible conversation about whether he would sleep in if tired (he’s historically been a non-sleeping lark...I used to laugh when people said he would wake later if he went to bed later). And he agreed that he wouldn’t and that he has less fun when he’s tired. I shall rinse and repeat as he gets older. He goes to bed at 8. If he can’t fall asleep after 20 minutes or so then he’s allowed to read for a little while.

Original poster

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 07/09/2020 20:52

I think it is interesting that you have to wake her in the morning as it is.

Really? Don't most people need an alarm or waking in some other manner?

OP posts:

MichelleofzeResistance · 07/09/2020 20:55

You can always test out how much sleep she needs by waking her 15 minutes earlier than usual in the morning, and see if she can do without that sleep and still be up and her usual self, or whether she's tired and grumpy before taking it off her bedtime. If she can handle that 15 minutes fine you can try the full 30 minutes and see if she's ready for it.

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