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Original poster

Asking for a handhold - DH in ICU

988 replies

peachgreen · 04/09/2020 10:56

DH was taken into hospital last night with breathing difficulties. It was pretty minor, the paramedics weren't even going to take him in but we insisted. He's now in an induced coma on a ventilator. He's had 2 negative Covid tests so they don't think it's that but they don't know what it is.

I'm falling apart. He's my whole life. We have a 2 year old who is a complete Daddy's girl. I need him so much. I can't even be with him now because of COVID.

OP posts:
petalpower · 21/09/2020 21:51

I’m sure the feelings come in waves and it’s always worse in the evening when you stop at the end of the day. Have you got any family close by?

Winter2019 · 21/09/2020 22:10

I've just read the whole thread and all your updates. Wow, you are a strong woman! And he's lucky to have such an amazing wife! Sending good thoughts your way. It is indeed always worse mentally in the evening/night

Original poster
peachgreen · 21/09/2020 23:07

@petalpower unfortunately not. My mum and dad are due to come over this week but who knows what will happen with the new COVID restrictions. I'm really hoping they make it as I really need the support.

@Winter2019 you're very kind, thank you - but I'm very lucky to have DH, he is a wonderful husband and a great daddy to our wee girl.

OP posts:
petalpower · 22/09/2020 07:48

Fingers crossed that your parents get to you soon. You will find the strength to get through this but I’m sure there will be ups and downs. Do you have your husband’s family in Ireland?

Mindymomo · 22/09/2020 10:16

I am still watching and hoping each day for good news and am thinking of you. When my husband came out of hospital in May he wasn’t allowed out of house for a month and only then we went out early am when nobody was around. His immunity isn’t strong but no one tells you for how long. He had a follow up echocardiogram last month and they told him to keep shielding, which we are doing pretty much most of the time. Getting medication right is a struggle. My FIL was in hospital several times with heart failure and it took so long getting the right mix of medication, at one point he was on around 25 pills a day.

ArabellaScott · 22/09/2020 11:01

Just remember one day at a time, OP. Do you have some support about until your parents get to you?

Original poster
peachgreen · 22/09/2020 11:07

I have really wonderful friends nearby who have been my absolute rocks but they have two little ones of their own and have only just moved house so I'm hesitant to rely on them too much. But they are always there when I need them and have done so much for us. DH's family are about an hour and a half away and they're great but they have caring responsibilities of their own (DH's brother is very disabled and his dad is 87 and has had several heart attacks, and his sister is a teacher so not only is she extremely busy, she's also quite a risk infection wise). I'll be okay so long as my parents make it over. And once DH is home I'll be fine as we'll be able to deal with it all together and support each other. I'm coping fine physically, I don't mind doing all the house and DD stuff but it's the anxiety of not having him right where I can see him and know he's safe that I'm really struggling with.

OP posts:
petalpower · 22/09/2020 17:11

How is your husband today?

forgetthehousework · 22/09/2020 17:18

You are doing so well @peachgreen, but just a word of caution - although you will feel lots better when he comes home I can almost guarantee you will be on pins every time he moves and be counting his breaths every time he shuts his eyes!
You'll probably start crying for no reason too; it's all a natural reaction to the terrible stress you've been under and are still under so be kind to yourself (I know you'll be kind to DH Smile)
You remain in my thoughts Flowers

Original poster
peachgreen · 22/09/2020 18:11

Oh gosh I know @forgetthehousework, as desperate as I am for him to come home I'm also terrified because we'll be on our own. Especially while he's having VT rhythms.

He's okay @petalpower, more breathlessness which is upsetting him quite a lot. His BP is better tonight though.

OP posts:
bearlyactive · 22/09/2020 18:35

Just read my whole thread, holding your hand OP

stayathomegardener · 22/09/2020 19:29

I've been following from the beginning with fingers crossed.
Just wanted to ask if your DH has had a covid antibody test?
His strange breathlessness despite ok statistics, high heart rate and random temperatures are all horribly familiar.

Original poster
peachgreen · 22/09/2020 23:03

He's had 6 negative Covid tests so far, 1 before he went in, 4 on the day he went in and 1 last week. So it seems unlikely - but you are right about the symptoms. I will maybe ask them to check again. He does also have a cough but I wouldn't say it was continuous and it is a known side effect of entresto.

OP posts:
stayathomegardener · 22/09/2020 23:17

I'm part of a group of long Covid friends experiencing these symptoms (albeit not hospitalised) six months after our initial infections. Definitely worth an antibody test as these should show up until 10 weeks after any infection.

Thinking about you both Thanks

cautiouscovidity · 23/09/2020 10:29

I agree about requesting a Covid antibody test. It sounds like the tests they're currently running are those that check for current infection. The antibody tests will show if he had the infection some time ago (pre hospital admission) that could be causing lingering issues.

Original poster
peachgreen · 23/09/2020 11:25

Could he have had Covid with no symptoms during the infection though and then had this suddenly happen? He hasn't been ill for months and months besides a cold which we all had just before he went in (hence why we got tested and got negatives).

OP posts:
petalpower · 23/09/2020 19:45

Are your parents still able to visit @peachgreen? It will such a support having them there I’m sure. Your daughter will love seeing her grandparents too!

Original poster
peachgreen · 23/09/2020 19:49

Yes, they arrive tomorrow - we were advised that it comes under childcare and medical emergency so it's not in breach of the rules. Can't wait to have them, it's been so tough.

OP posts:
petalpower · 23/09/2020 19:55

Fantastic! Will they be able to stay for long? I’m sure having them there will be such a comfort to you as well as practical help.

Original poster
peachgreen · 23/09/2020 20:08

A couple of weeks so fingers crossed they'll be here until Mike gets home!

OP posts:
Original poster
peachgreen · 23/09/2020 20:08

Oops, just revealed DH's name. Oh well, I'm pretty sure this thread has 100% outed me anyway!

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 23/09/2020 20:29

Oh, I'm so glad to hear your parents are coming, peachgreen. Hope you get a chance to rest and get looked after yourself, now.

petalpower · 23/09/2020 21:47

I’m sure it will help just having others to share the daily stresses with and give you a bit of a break mentally and physically. If you’re not comfortable with mentioning your husband’s name you can ask for the post to be deleted.

SunshineCake · 23/09/2020 22:14

I have been thinking of you *@peachgreen so relieved to see your dh is being well looked after. I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time and relieved you are able to have parental support.

My dh had a heart attack in February and I still get moments of panic when he coughs or I think he isn't breathing in his sleep and the day he was ill still makes me go cold.

I hope so much what is going on with your dh is resolved very soon and he is back with you and your dd.

Marmunia1975 · 24/09/2020 12:32

Hi PeachGreen - thinking of you x Do you have far to travel each day to the Ulster? When my dad was in Antrim I found it exhausting even though I was only 20 mins away.