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Original poster

Asking for a handhold - DH in ICU

988 replies

peachgreen · 04/09/2020 10:56

DH was taken into hospital last night with breathing difficulties. It was pretty minor, the paramedics weren't even going to take him in but we insisted. He's now in an induced coma on a ventilator. He's had 2 negative Covid tests so they don't think it's that but they don't know what it is.

I'm falling apart. He's my whole life. We have a 2 year old who is a complete Daddy's girl. I need him so much. I can't even be with him now because of COVID.

OP posts:
ifonerememberstoturnonthelight · 04/09/2020 20:28

There are so many things they can do for heart failure now;
Pumps
Ventricular devices
Wearable technology to keep the heart beating
Pulseless pumps etc, so even if it's horrendous they can sometimes fit a device that will give a really good quality of life until his heart gets better or he gets a transplant. I'm not saying he needs any of those things but they do exist so it's not just drugs they can give

SlightlyJaded · 04/09/2020 20:29

I just want to echo the reassurance around the term 'heart failure'. It is a very broad-brush term and means that there is an issue with his heart but the word 'failure' instantly suggests that it's not working at all. Not necessarily the case. It means it isn't pumping blood properly, but that can often be resolved quite easily. I too have relatives who have had 'heart failure' and are here, decades later, to tell the tale.

Hang in there OP x

comfyslipers · 04/09/2020 20:58

Another hand hold - can't imagine how you are feeling. The fact they have been able to reduce his oxygen is a very good sign. My step father was on life support for 7 weeks and his organs were failing one by one - he had severe heart issues - suddenly he turned a corner and lived for another 16 years. Wasn't his heart that killed him either.

Tatum1234 · 04/09/2020 21:05

I hope your husband is ok OP. I‘m 39 and spent 10 days in hospital earlier this year with severe heart failure caused by a virus. It was terrifying but medication has worked brilliantly and I’m functioning pretty normally now.

Smurf123 · 04/09/2020 21:05

Handhold @peachgreen I hope he make some improvements and that you are dd are doing OK in the circumstances

cakeandchampagne · 04/09/2020 21:07

They will do their best for him. You need to take especially good care of yourself right now.

MyNameWas · 04/09/2020 21:07

Handhold here..please try to eat something and take some rest. You need to look after yourself too...keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that you receive some positive news tomorrow

winterchills · 04/09/2020 21:53

Fingers crossed for some positive news, thinking of you x

Original poster
peachgreen · 04/09/2020 21:53

@Tatum1234 can I ask if you were on a ventilator?

OP posts:
Original poster
peachgreen · 04/09/2020 21:55

Spoke to the hospital and he's on 40% oxygen which they said is quite good and his heart rate has dropped from 115ish to 107ish which I'm hoping is good? Nobody is being very positive though.

OP posts:
Yoholyolo · 04/09/2020 21:56

Hi peachgreen, another one wanting to say though it's terrifying, this may turn out not be quiet as awful as it seems right now.
A week and a half ago I was faced with someone hugely important to me, a bit overweight but very tall, normally strong and active, suddenly clammy and unable to breathe. Shortly after heart failure was announced.
It was all terrifying for all of us. They were struggling to even stand, and utterly exhausted by everything. Heart rate was wildly fluctuating and going up to 175, missing several beats at a time and lacking any sort of rhythm. Hospital couldn't get things under control, and was told only chance was a pacemaker. They were packed off to Barts, with no visiting allowed and all sorts of morbid thoughts for all of us. I did the only thing I could, researched how a pacemaker would affect their job.

A few days ago, they only came back on the bloody bus!
They've been put through the mill but now have a great rhythm and oxygen's at 99, and they're breathing is entirely normal. They're even snoring less, and escaped having a pacemaker! (at least for now) Some long term drugs, some short term. Some things will have to change, but it isn't the sentence we thought it meant.
We now know the reason the terrifying situation of being unable to breathe properly was a simple enough symptom: their lungs were full of plasma because their heart couldn't do what it should. Diuretics shifted it.
It's been a terrifying roller coaster experience for all of us and very hard to believe what we were looking at less than 10 days ago and how we can be were we are now, but here we are, and deeply grateful.
Before they were transferred lots of others came in with heart failure and heart attacks. Horrible, and terrifying for all especially those who loved them and were helpless. But what is terrifying for us is far less for cardiology.

I've done an awful lot of wishing recently, and I wish the same outcome or similar for you and him. Hang on in there.

Tatum1234 · 04/09/2020 22:40

Hi, no I wasn’t. My heart rate was 210 and my BP 213/135 when I was admitted, It all happened completely out of the blue. They were considering an internal defibrillator but I was given a relatively new drug called Entresto which worked wonderfully.
I do hope you have good news soon xx

Justaboy · 04/09/2020 22:56

My heart rate was 210 and my BP 213/135 when I was admitted,

Bloody hell thats going some!, its a wonder it didnt fly off its mountings and hit a passing Pidgeon;! or worse!

Glad thats sorted.

Anyway peachgreen generally the hireachy in a hospital is consultant then doctor/s then nurses. In the main the consultant is the one who will say what he/she thinks the situation or prognonisis is sometimes the doctor working with them.

It may be that they either don't know and are awaiting tests or are awiting to see how he develops in general the nursing staff won't say that much and their the ones you'll see the most. Its now the weekend and not that much tends to happen in the way of tests and results etc so I wouldnt read too much into if anyones being postive or not.

As above thats what normally happens. So please dont get despondent. Its not the same as a typical heart attack its the heart isnt working as well as it might and you can see here that many have either bene thru that or know someone who has.

You for now will just have to be strong and be there for the little one and hope that all will be well.

I went through a broadly similar situation many years ago and wasnt expected to last the night but well - here i am being annoying to all!

Please be brave and as said be there for the little child thats important!

Best wishes..

Brenna24 · 05/09/2020 02:26

I have just read this @peachgreen. I am another one who remembers you from other boards (hi @Hardbackwriter too). You and your husband have been through so much and are such a strong team. I am gutted for you both that you are going through this. As others have said this may not be as bad as it feels right now and the doctors will be quite brutally honest and not build any hopes up while they aren't exactly sure what is going on but there are still lots of treatments and options. I will pray for you all too.

Original poster
peachgreen · 05/09/2020 02:35

This is hell. I don't know how I can possibly get through this. The more time goes by the more I'm convinced the worst will happen and I'll never have him again. If I lose him I will never be happy. I'm so terrified and so achingly sad.

OP posts:
MissCadoganTate · 05/09/2020 02:38

So sorry. Take a breath. Do you want yo chat, tell us all a little bit more about him? I'm here for a while x

Original poster
peachgreen · 05/09/2020 02:42

He is the kindest, most wonderful man. He is so sweet and funny. He is my other half, truly. My cousin said last night that she has always felt like she's known him all her life because he's the male me and it's true.

His chances are so vanishingly small, I know they are. Heart failure and a ventilator. This is it. I can't be without him, I don't know how.

OP posts:
MissCadoganTate · 05/09/2020 02:46

He sounds great.

From what you've written, he sounds strong and fit and there appeared to be some small changes earlier which were positive. He's still fighting and the hospital will do everything they can to ensure he is given what he needs in terms of meds. X

MissCadoganTate · 05/09/2020 02:49

He's your other half and so will know how much you love him. There have been so many positive stories on here. I'm probably talking shite but is it possible to take any comfort from them?

Jonoula · 05/09/2020 02:50

The brother I mentioned earlier was on a ventilator for 4 days. Fine now. Goodnight and if you can't sleep then eat something

eveningfalls · 05/09/2020 03:00

This reply has been deleted

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2018SoFarSoGreat · 05/09/2020 03:06

@peachgreen have they told you this? It is it your panic and fear telling you this?

Keep speaking to us if you can't sleep. We will hold your hands and give you strong backs to lean on. You just do that. Lean on us. Just for a little while.

MissCadoganTate · 05/09/2020 03:10

@eveningfalls. Why the biscuit?

BusterGonad · 05/09/2020 03:36

MissCadogen I suspect they thought it was a flower, not everyone knows it's a biscuit and used in a rude way.

akerman · 05/09/2020 03:45

You can be on a ventilator with heart failure and go on to have many, many good years. I do know how terrifying and lonely it is in the night, when you’re worrying about them though. Last night DH was snoring and I was irritated, and then reminded myself that I’d have done anything in March to have him snoring next to me again! It is so hard to live through but praying that your DH has the same outcome xxx