I asked my husband why he loved me..:

[WinWinnieTheWay]

And he mumbled such a load of generic crap that I am seriously thinking about whether we should stay together.

He is not romantic or considerate, but he is sure enthusiastic when it comes to sex!!

It's very painful, but I think I need to accept that he's settled for me and isn't in love with me.

Why did you ask him?

Generic doesn’t mean what he said is either untrue or not a reflection of his feelings.

I don’t think I’ve ever asked my husband but I know what he’d say.

Was he ever romantic or considerate? If not then surely you’ve settled for him.

What on earth did you expect him to say?

Did you just catch him on the hop? Are you able to tell him why you love him? It's quite a difficult thing to articulate neatly...

Late DH used to say "because you're great at sandwiches" (not a euphemism) That was fine with me because it was his way of showing me he noticed all the tiny things we did for each other. It's important to feel seen, and noticed, and valued - but it can be really hard to express that sometimes.

The bit about sex is worrying, he doesn't sound like a very nice person, leave him.

Ignore me, I read that wrong

@bloodywhitecat

The bit about sex is worrying, he doesn't sound like a very nice person, leave him.

Holy shit!!

About five minutes and only a handful of posts. This site is nuts.

I think I might struggle to come up we org something coherent when put on the door and I actually do dh very much.

What made you ask him?

Leave the bastard. If he can't say why then he isn't worth it

..blows smoke from gun

leaves with coat

The OP made it sound as though the enthusiastic sex was painful!

It turns out I can’t even write coherent sentences now!

Why do you love him op?

DH would give some generic answer, I don't doubt he loves me.

If you're unhappy with the sex that's a separate issue I think

Only joking OP.

Don't be childish asking men silly questions that put them on the spot.

In fact do you know what ? I'm going to ask my bloke the same question and I will publish the lies he spouts at me thinking it's what I want to hear :)

Give me 5 minutes

Yes, leave your husband because he didn't say what you wanted to hear. Very sensible.

He talked me as "a person who" bland bland bland and "people who" bland bland bland. As if he was talking about attractive as a science or recipe. I get that's ok for him, but I feel very sad and not very special. I'm not expecting a lot, but just to be referred to as one of many bland people makes me feel very sorry for myself.

I feel like there must be back story here.

...back..

"I can't nail it down to one thing..why ??

I expected no less :)

Hope that puts it into perspective

@JustFrigginNameChange

Yes, leave your husband because he didn't say what you wanted to hear. Very sensible.

Don't you get irony?

If he can't say that I'm special, then surely I'm not!

@Anordinarymum

...back..

"I can't nail it down to one thing..why ??

I expected no less :)

Hope that puts it into perspective

Sounds about normal!

The sex is not painful. Two separate paragraphs ffs.

I find it upsetting that he is only vocally nice to me when he wants/is getting some.

How did that conversation come about?

If he's not considerate that's your problem, not if he can explain why he loves you.

What prompted you to ask?

I find it upsetting that he is only vocally nice to me when he wants/is getting some.

So that’s the back story.

If he doesn’t treat you well, that’s the big issue, not whether he can come up with something good when put on the spot about why he loves you.

Irony?

Reads like you understand irony about as well as Alanis does