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Original poster

Partner says I have a distinctive smell but can’t quite describe it..!

96 replies

Deanie10000 · 31/08/2020 22:49

I can’t wear any perfumes etc due to my allergies to fragrance chemicals so I just use roll on deodorant and no other perfume nor body spray or perfumed creams

He says he’s noticed the smell on me from day 1, that it isn’t offensive (might just be saying that to be polite), isn’t typical gross body odour and likely to be strongest around my neck (though he can’t say that definitively)

What could it be and how can I fix it?

He says his past partners never smelt of anything but I definitely have a smell nearly always.

I shower daily but wash my hair every 5 days or so as it’s very thick and dries out easily.

I usually take special care to wash behind my ears as that’s where gross cheesy smells build up.

Any tips/suggestions?

I drink a lot of water but have a dry body type where I heat up too easily and sweat fairly easily

OP posts:
WiserOlder · 31/08/2020 22:52

I wouldn't like that at all, a ''partner'' telling me I smelled. If you know you are washing then what can be be smelling?

Do you eat healthily?

I would be a bit pissed off by that. It'd put me right off him. A man telling me I smelled?!

Justpickaname · 31/08/2020 23:01

@WiserOlder

I wouldn't like that at all, a ''partner'' telling me I smelled. If you know you are washing then what can be be smelling?

Do you eat healthily?

I would be a bit pissed off by that. It'd put me right off him. A man telling me I smelled?!

Surely you would rather know if you "smelled"? I know I would.
LaurieFairyCake · 31/08/2020 23:02

I wonder if your hairs smelly ?

Every five days is a long time in summer possibly ?

Justpickaname · 31/08/2020 23:03

I think everybody has there own natural smell, if your washing regularly and using deodorant, I don't think there is anything else you could.

Literallynoidea · 31/08/2020 23:05

'Gross cheesy smells behind the ears' ???

Are you as clean as you think you are? I have never emitted any gross cheesy smells from anywhere, let alone behind my ears.

Is this a wind up?

Fatted · 31/08/2020 23:05

It could be your hair. I wash mine every third day usually otherwise it's pretty rank. Do you straighten your hair at all as well? Mine always smells when I straighten it (probably burnt!)

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 31/08/2020 23:06

It’s probably pheromones, hence him smelling it on your neck. I love nuzzling into my DP’s neck and giving him a good sniff. He has a distinctive ‘him’ smell that isn’t his aftershave or shower gel etc, it’s just him. And he says the same of me.

If your BF isn’t saying it’s a problem and he isn’t asking you to change, just try and let it go. We all have our own personal scent, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. How sad it would be if you smelled of nothing.

Wolfiefan · 31/08/2020 23:07

Deodorant or anti perspirant? They’re not the same.
And they’re not all equal. I have serious allergies but can still wear anti perspirant that works.
Washing your hair every 5 days and mentioning “usually washing” behind your ears or you smell “cheesy” does sound grim TBH.

XiCi · 31/08/2020 23:13

Its pheromones. All of us have a distinctive odour that plays a part in whether you are sexually attracted to someone, or not. It's likely that this smell has attracted him if he has noticed it from day 1 so it's not something surely youd wish to 'fix' even if you could.

FlibbertyGiblets · 31/08/2020 23:14

It will be your hair and scalp. The smell is revolting, sharp and sour, he will catch his breath and not in a good way. Get a decent haircut, thinned out and or undercut, and wash it more. Grim.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/08/2020 23:15

I think it's your hair. The oils from your scalp can get quite smelly.

PurBal · 31/08/2020 23:15

Pheromones. Every partner I've ever has has a distinctive smell.

CrotchetyQuaver · 31/08/2020 23:16

@XiCi

Its pheromones. All of us have a distinctive odour that plays a part in whether you are sexually attracted to someone, or not. It's likely that this smell has attracted him if he has noticed it from day 1 so it's not something surely youd wish to 'fix' even if you could.
i would agree with this. if it was a bad smell, i'm sure he wouldn't have stuck around.
Redlocks28 · 31/08/2020 23:16

Not washing your hair for 5 days is a long time. It is probably causing the cheesy smell.

polkadotpjs · 31/08/2020 23:16

Sounds like it could be hair sorry. Hair unwashed DOES have a smell. I hate the smell of mine after a day so after 5 could be a bit whiffy especially if you mention behind ear smells
He may be being kind but wants your hair washing. There are conditions treatments to use in lieu of less frequent washing. Try washing it and see if he says you smell nice

Hedgesfullofbirds · 31/08/2020 23:19

Cannot make comment on your partner's observations regarding your unique smell since, without context or knowing in what manner it was said, it is well nigh impossible to determine whether or not it was a pleasant remark.

However, humans do have a natural strong, musky animal smell, which, to other animals probably seems as odorous and strong as, for example, a badger's or foxes smell does to us! It is just that we are probably usually 'nose blind' to the natural odour of other humans, especially since we mask it with frequent washing and the application of artificial scents.

Marcipex · 31/08/2020 23:22

I once couldn’t wash my hair for a week after facial surgery and it definitely smelt by then.
I wouldn’t willingly wait five days ever, alternate days is okay.

BigGlasses · 31/08/2020 23:23

People smell. Every family I know has a distinct smell. I could tell even if blindfolded whose house I was in by the smell. None of the smells are unpleasant, each are unique.
DH has a smell, I love nuzzling into his chest or neck, it’s a uniquely him smell. Does your partner say it’s unpleasant? Is there someone else trusted you could ask? If there is something unpleasant then you need to look at your hygiene, and also your clothes hygiene. But if it’s only him that can smell it, and it’s up close, then it’s just your natural scent

Onlythepoets · 31/08/2020 23:23

Hair that is not freshly washed does smell. Cooking smells cling to it for example and after five days that would not be pleasant.

jessstan2 · 31/08/2020 23:24

Does he think it's a nice smell? That is possible.

It could be your hair, hair picks up smells so easily and five days is a long time to go without washing it. That would smell around your neck.

QueenPaws · 31/08/2020 23:26

Probably just your natural scent. Like if you have a primary school class, they can usually pick up a jumper and sniff it and tell who it belongs to!

feefiifofumm · 31/08/2020 23:28

if he thinks its a bad smell tho he has prob got "the ick"

ShitStain · 31/08/2020 23:29

My ex smelt like lamb.

MilktheMilk · 31/08/2020 23:30

So it could be your hair if you only wash it once every 5 days. Or it could just be your natural odour. Everyone has a natural smell to them. My dh has an amazing smell around his neck and ears that I love. My dd has a natural smell that reminds me of biscuits and my ds has a natural smell that is kind of sweet. I have no idea what my natural smell is but I'm curious now and intend to ask my dh tomorrow.

If you can't smell it, no one other than your dh has ever mentioned it, and it isn't an offensive smell (according to your dh) then why do you need to get rid of the smell?

peachgreen · 31/08/2020 23:33

Of course it's your hair! You don't have to use shampoo every time (look into co-wash) but you should definitely be washing it more often, especially as it's thick.

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