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Original poster

DD just walked in on us 😭

124 replies

Vdubcampa · 27/08/2020 01:14

As said, she woke up and threw our door open while we were dtd 😳. She’s almost 10 and said “I know what you’re doing!” I explained to her me and DH love each other very much and this is how she was made and she seemed ok but I feel like the worst person in the world right now. Did I explain it properly? I thought screaming and chasing her was the worst reaction. Be kind I feel so bad

OP posts:
MJMG2015 · 27/08/2020 10:00
  1. She's definitely old enough to knock before entering someone's bedroom and to wait to be invited in not just knock & enter.

Not sure why you'd be requiring her forgiveness? You were having Dec, with your DH, in your bedroom. Not fucking the milkman on the kitchen table.

MJMG2015 · 27/08/2020 10:00

My phone is coy- sex not Dec

GammyLeg · 27/08/2020 10:02

It's fine, sex is a normal part of a relationship and not something we should be hung up on. You explained it matter of factly and I think you dealt with it well.

I'm sure the DD doesn't need "protecting" from her parents - it was clearly a once-in-a-childhood moment that she will get over.

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Families
diddl · 27/08/2020 10:04

I think if she said "I know what you're doing" more or less at the same time as opening the door then it was you that woke her or she was listening for a while!

Morfin · 27/08/2020 10:04

Not sure why you'd be requiring her forgiveness? You were having Dec, with your DH, in your bedroom I think if this was the case op would have a lot of explaining to do, like why there was another man in her parents bedroom.

iknowiknowimab1tch · 27/08/2020 10:10

@ballsdeep - i didnt think we were that loud at all, our walls are next to each other and we have a TV bed which is always on before we start, i assumed that because the speakers face her wall it would dampen any noise, she is very outspoken for her age though, i wouldnt dare bring it up if i heard my parents

blame it on bad buildings and thin walls LOL

gonerogue · 27/08/2020 10:10

My DD who just turned 10 walked in on us about 6 weeks ago - it was 1:30 in the morning. She said nothing then but the next day asked what we were doing.

I said we were having sex - she and her brother both know about sex etc. - but I also said that if she will walk into our room late at night she may see things that she doesn't want/need to see.

We are fairly open about sex and talking about things in our house anyway.
It hasn't stopped her from coming into our bedroom at night though so I figure she mustn't be too traumatised.

Spied · 27/08/2020 10:11

She may be thinking you're making another baby as you told her it was how you made her. Shock

Bibidy · 27/08/2020 10:12

Forgives you?! Grin Why do you even feel bad?!

You haven't done anything wrong! It's a normal part of a relationship and your D is old enough to know that. I'm sure she won't be barging in again any time soon.

Kasparovski · 27/08/2020 10:16

Why on earth don’t you have a simple latch lock on your door?

GotOutOfBedOnTheWrongSide · 27/08/2020 10:21

@iknowiknowimab1tch

my 12 year old is always moaning that she can here me and my husband, im not sure she can but i tell her she should have gone to sleep earlier...its at least 11pm before we go to bed, i think she may have heard us once and now makes a drama out of it for attention
Quite a different situation to the OP though isn't it?

You know your daughter can hear you and continue to have loud sex. The OP thought her daughter was asleep. Your gross...the OP isn't. Grin

Original poster
Vdubcampa · 27/08/2020 10:24

I have just been normal with her this morning and she seemed fine! My parents left me with a lot of hang ups (mum was an alcoholic who had no issues bringing men home after dad left) so I guess I overreacted! I’m glad it’s not just me it has happened to.

OP posts:
iknowiknowimab1tch · 27/08/2020 10:25

GotOutOfBedOnTheWrongSide - we don't deliberately have loud sex at all, actually its as quiet as we can compared to when we have child free nights
and we assume she is asleep by then, she goes to bed at 9pm, by 11pm she should be sleeping!!!!!

lyralalala · 27/08/2020 10:31

@iknowiknowimab1tch

GotOutOfBedOnTheWrongSide - we don't deliberately have loud sex at all, actually its as quiet as we can compared to when we have child free nights and we assume she is asleep by then, she goes to bed at 9pm, by 11pm she should be sleeping!!!!!
But you know she's not because she's told you so stop assuming and check...

Stop subjecting a child you know has heard you multiple times to your sex life.

CharityDingle · 27/08/2020 10:36

@Morfin

Not sure why you'd be requiring her forgiveness? You were having Dec, with your DH, in your bedroom I think if this was the case op would have a lot of explaining to do, like why there was another man in her parents bedroom.
Grin
AntsInPenzance · 27/08/2020 10:41

@MJMG2015

10. She's definitely old enough to knock before entering someone's bedroom and to wait to be invited in not just knock & enter.

Not sure why you'd be requiring her forgiveness? You were having Dec, with your DH, in your bedroom. Not fucking the milkman on the kitchen table.

But who was having Ant? Confused
iknowiknowimab1tch · 27/08/2020 10:43

OMG, totally being attacked,
If you knew my child then you would understand that she makes a mountain out of a molehill and has only heard us the once but will exaggerate it all for the attention. It is something we are dealing with. Im sorry i spoke now, should have known that you cant be honest on here without someone trying to make you feel like a shit mother when they dont know you or your children

Ok you win i will go back in my box and spend the rest of the day worrying if i have scarred my children for their life while just trying to live mine.

CarrotCakeCrumbs · 27/08/2020 10:43

I used to frequently hear my mum and step-dad having sex. It wasn't great but I'm not scarred for life. I think as long as you aren't being loud/inconsiderate then you have nothing to worry about. Teach your daughter to knock before entering rooms, and apologize if you woke her up and that should be the end of it. Sex is natural and entirely expected in any long term relationship, the more open you are about sex the less curiosity and half truths your daughter will have as she gets older. (I'm not suggesting you give her the book of karma sutra - just the facts if she asks).

oakleaffy · 27/08/2020 10:48

@Vdubcampa

Something had woken her (it was quite windy outside) and she decided to throw the door open 🤦🏻‍♀️ I will talk to her today about knocking. Hopefully she forgives me!
Really, there is nothing to 'Forgive'.. Locks on doors are a good idea, though, as is teaching about ''Knocking'' when a door is closed. {For all members of the family} I remember hating hearing parents DTD, it made me feel frightened- I once so nearly went in to see if DP were ok- It sounded as if Stepmum was in awful pain - It isn't nice to hear parents DTD, but hopefully you were under the duvet, so not much was visible. 🙂
MadCattery · 27/08/2020 10:49

Hopefully she forgives me!

For what? You weren't doing anything wrong! It's happened in almost every household raising a family. Years after DS walked in on us, I walked in on him and his GF! Forgiveness is not needed. Learning to knock is a valuable lesson.

Rhine · 27/08/2020 10:52

It’s alright saying she should have knocked, but in families where there are no healthy boundaries knocking just isn’t the done thing. It was never encouraged by my parents and my DM continued to barge into my room until I was a grown adult. We weren’t allowed locks and when my brother installed a lock on his door she forced her way in.

My parents used to have very noisy sexy as well. With no consideration for DB and I. It’s perfectly possible to have sex quietly. And to the poster who says her 12 year old should ‘go to sleep earlier’, no love you should stop shrieking like a sea lion.

BlogTheBlogger · 27/08/2020 10:54

I hope she forgives me

For what?

SomewhereInbetween1 · 27/08/2020 10:54

A friend of mine grew up in a house where she could always hear her parents shagging because they did not even try to keep the noise down, she cringes about it even now! Definitely add a lock on your door and enjoy your privacy, maybe just do so a bit more quietly in future! 😂 But honestly try not to worry too much over a one off.

oakleaffy · 27/08/2020 10:58

My parents used to have very noisy sexy as well. With no consideration for DB and I. It’s perfectly possible to have sex quietly. And to the poster who says her 12 year old should ‘go to sleep earlier’, no love you should stop shrieking like a sea lion.

Agree here.
I spoke to my brother about this {hearing parents having very noisy sex when we were young} and he loathed it, too...And it un-nerved him, too.

It is perfectly possible to be quiet- It is frightening for children to hear, as they worry that their DP's are being hurt.

2bazookas · 27/08/2020 10:59

You did great.

Far better for her to understand sex in the context of love, family, normality, than the usual ways kids do these days.. ... playground ignorance, online porn on someone's phone.

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