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Control your fucking dogs

343 replies

ThunderSkies · 25/08/2020 19:16

I’m so angry. Yet again someone can’t control their dog and my dc is even more afraid due to some massive dog leaping up at their face and mouthing at them (very young, but big dog).

If they have no recall and keep jumping up at people (and are at the mouthing people stage still) don’t fucking let them be able to get out of control.

Dog ran away from owners, out of the garden and my child ran towards the road. I’m so 😡. Why did I come away feeling like my son was to blame for running and shouting (yes it excites the dog, no I can’t stop him doing it when he’s scared and the dog is chasing him). Yes the dog was playing. No, it makes no difference to my child when the dog can jump higher than he is tall.

OP posts:
Orangecake123 · 25/08/2020 20:15

(*and coming closer to her).

missyB1 · 25/08/2020 20:20

Pp asked a perfectly valid question about how you are addressing his fear, there was no need to be so shirty (and sweary) about it.

So a young excitable dog escaped the garden and wanted to play with your ds? Well no it’s not ideal, and shouldn’t have happened, but I’m not convinced it warrants the extreme over reaction and ott aggression from you.
Dogs are part of our society, and can be unpredictable. Help your ds to cope with that. Perhaps even consider getting him a dog?

Ragwort · 25/08/2020 20:20

Because I don't like dogs does it mean I have a 'phobia' about them? Confused. Why should I not be able to go for a walk without a dog jumping up at me?

(Some) dog owners are just unable to manage their dogs, the amount of dogs out and about in our small town is ridiculous and if I (politely) ask them not to bring their dog into the shop I run - which sells food - they get all huffy and storm out, or leave the dog lying in the doorway so no one can get in or out and expect everyone else to admire their dog Hmm.

ThunderSkies · 25/08/2020 20:21

@Pancakeorcrepe

You sound very angry and OTT. So much swearing. I wonder where your son gets his highly strung personality from. It’s not ideal but it’s not the end of the world. You sound like a control freak and could do with calming down.
Yes I should be totally happy and calm about my son running into a road because a dog was chasing him, jumping up at him.
OP posts:
nc600 · 25/08/2020 20:23

God, hate this.

OP too right you're angry. Everyone seems to have a dog and more and more are so entitled. Leash your dog unless you're in a place that it is suitable not to!

I went for a walk with my friend and her dog. He runs over sniffing and jumping and her routine is to smile and shout

"It's ok, he's friendly" Hmm

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 25/08/2020 20:23

Oh god this is my pet hate at the moment. One of my DC is very nervous after an unprovoked incident in the park with a dog off the lead. After making so much progress with them on how nice dogs are,you get one stupid owner with the whole 'he's friendly' BS whilst letting it bound up to us which sets them back again.
One man actually rolled his eyes at me the other week after telling me the dog was friendly and me explaining my DC was very nervous. Yeah, cheers mate!

And all these people saying you need to work on your son's phobia, that's what a bloody phobia is, an irrational fear!Confused

PopcornAndWine · 25/08/2020 20:24

You think it's "highly strung" to be terrified of a massive out-of-control dog chasing you?

Guess I'm highly strung then because a huge aggressive-looking dog came tearing up to me barking it's head off when I was out jogging the other day. Now I know you are not meant to run if a dog is chasing but instinct totally took over and I sped up away from it, dog chased faster.

I roared at the owner "get it on a fucking lead" (so yes I can understand the OP's swearing too!) To be fair the owner was apologetic when she caught the dog but I'm afraid I was too shaken up to accept her apology with much grace!

ThunderSkies · 25/08/2020 20:24

I am very angry.

My son is well aware of the dangers of the road, but when fight or flight takes over, thinking doesn’t come into it.

I don’t care if the dog was fucking 'just excited', they need to have control over him

No. I stand by what I said.

OP posts:
LumiPear · 25/08/2020 20:25

Out of control dogs in both public and private spaces are actually commiting an offence. The law agrees with you OP.

MiriamShepherd · 25/08/2020 20:25

I am furious on your behalf I had a large dog he was awful with children and people in general (soft as anything with me) I recognised this was my fault in that I hadn’t socialised him properly so I took him to classes and did everything I could to resolve it. Sadly it was too late so i kept him on a lead when walking him and he didn’t get to be around any guests in the house unless he knew them (I am fortunate to have a large garden and kitchen he would be happy enough in)

There is no way on earth that your son is at fault in this and I can’t believe your neighbour blames him. He reacted as any child would the dog’s owners are at fault here. They are letting their dog down I say this as someone who let her dog down in the past.

I’m sorry this happened to your son.

Frazzled13 · 25/08/2020 20:26

I especially hate it when the dog is jumping up all over you and the owner mildly bleats "it's ok, he won't hurt you".
Being hurt is really not my issue, I believe most dogs won't hurt me, it's the slobber and mud all over my clothes. If I wanted muddy paw prints on my clothes, I'd get my own dog.

ThunderSkies · 25/08/2020 20:26

Yes I’m angry. But was scared before. Really sacred - of the dog chasing my son and of the road. The anger as come in the aftermath and because I have no outlet.

OP posts:
bpirockin · 25/08/2020 20:26

I'm also a dog lover, and hoping to get a new puppy soon. However, I seem to be coming across more and more tales of people and dogs being attacked by other dogs. It's definitely a problem. I think it's perfectly reasonable for anyone to be a bit freaked out by being face to face with a strange dog out of the blue, let alone a child. I hope you can find a way to resolve the situation.

In the meantime, I hope this raises a smile - you may need to tweak the wording to suit an individual situation.

Blatantly "stolen" from another site, but it might give people a chuckle if you can make it to the end ........

Dear Neighbour,
It was good to meet you and your dog once again this morning. I'm sorry the circumstances were such that we couldn't have a proper chat, but I'm afraid that being in a situation where I was restraining my four agitated and angry dogs whilst trying to ward your dog off with my foot as he tried to hump them indiscriminately wasn't conducive to chit-chat.
Unfortunately we have had similar encounters several times since you moved here a few weeks ago, and as my dogs are neutered males and spayed females who don't appreciate your dog's relentless advances things can get a little lively when we meet, so I thought perhaps a letter might help to break the ice as it were.
I appreciate that your dog ran over two fields and nearly a quarter of a mile to get to mine, so it was going to take you a little time to get there to retrieve him. However for next time I'd suggest spending 15 minutes standing two fields away angrily screaming his name possibly wasn't the best use of your time. It hasn't worked on any previous occasion and didn't work this morning, so could I respectfully suggest that next time you cut that part out of the process and come and get your dog straight away?
Anyway, I was sure as hell pleased to see you after 25 minutes of my dogs being humped, barged and jumped on. It was a shame that having finally managed to catch your dog and get hold of his collar you only let us get a few yards down the path before you released him, so he immediately came after us and the whole performance started again, but hey, that's dogs for you. Whoever in the world could have predicted he would do that?
We did talk a little last time about how you could stop your dog continuously running off and bothering other dogs, and I'll accept that you have indeed tried everything... except training apparently. Or rewards, as he should do what you tell him without them. Dogs are certainly clever animals, but I'd never before realised that they had a sense of ethics and obligation to do the right thing, I certainly learned a few things from our conversation. To think of all that time I've wasted with clickers and treats!
On that subject, I'm still not entirely sure how smacking him when you do finally manage to get hold of him will make him easier to catch next time - perhaps you could talk me through that one next time we meet?
We also briefly discussed that neutering might help curb his desire to streak off into the distance hump anything that moved, but you mentioned that you were considering using him at stud in due course as he a Pedigree Labrador with Papers.
Now I certainly can't claim to know a lot about Labradors, but if the standard for the breed specifies a potato-shaped body and short, stumpy legs your boy is certainly a fine example and it would obviously be a shame to rob future generations of his genes; and he has Papers. I hate to break it to you, though - so does my newsagent but that doesn't make me want to have his babies.
You told me that you'd thought about an electric shock collar to tackle his tendency to run off, but were concerned about the cost. I'm sure the fact you didn't also mention any concerns about the effect of administering electric shocks on your dog's physical and psychological well-being was merely an oversight, but I thought I'd slip it in here just in case it's an aspect of these collars you may not have considered?
Anyway, having come home and pondered our mutual problem, I hope you are as pleased as I am that I have managed to come up with a tried and tested 100% effective solution that requires no time, input or effort from you and costs only a few pounds.
There is a handy little gadget that savvy dog owners have been using for many years to address your sort of problem. It's very simple, a long strip of rope or leather with a loop at one end you can use as a handle, and a clever little clip at the other end that attaches to your dog's collar (you might have seen that metal ring on his collar and wondered what it was for?).
This brilliant device is called a lead - L.E.A.D. You attach it to your dog, hold the handle and hey presto, you have control of your dog and he can no longer run away! Most pet shops sell them - in fact I probably have a spare I can loan you to try, just let me know.
You can thank me next time we meet. Or better still, if we don't meet that will be thanks enough.

heartsonacake · 25/08/2020 20:26

It’s okay to be angry, but you do need to address your sons phobia until it’s completely gone.

It’s not sorted if he’s only okay in a perfect world where dogs behave impeccably all the time.

It sounds like he’s had this phobia for years. You are doing him a disservice if you don’t sort it because he can’t go through life like this, and it will be easier for you to tackle it with him now than for him to have to deal with it as an adult.

Oopsadaisydoddle · 25/08/2020 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Californiastreaming · 25/08/2020 20:27

My son is 19 and to this day is still terrified of dogs after a neighbours dog bit him 10 years ago, so I agree fully with you @ThunderSkies

AdoptedBumpkin · 25/08/2020 20:27

This is a pet hate of mine. Dogs should not be in front gardens without leads.

Sidewinder30 · 25/08/2020 20:28

Doga are not going to all and every one under perfect control at all times. Plenty of owners are irresponsible or unsympathetic; and sometimes even responsible dog owners will lapse.

Thing is, you can't control all of that. You can help your son control his reaction.

An overgrown puppy got loose and mouthed at your son. His fear drove him towards the road. Work on the fear. I know it sucks, but it really is the best thing to do.

And yeah, the neighbours need to control the damn dog.

MoreListeningLessChatting · 25/08/2020 20:28

@Oopsadaisydoddle

Did you tell the dog owners all of this?

ThunderSkies · 25/08/2020 20:28

Tell me how a dog jumping up and licking your face isn’t frightening if you’re already scared? He’s young and friendly - I can see that his body language wasn’t aggressive, but it wasn’t my face he was licking (he has jumped up at me before and he’s a strong, heavy dog).

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 25/08/2020 20:29

And all these people saying you need to work on your son's phobia, that's what a bloody phobia is, an irrational fear!

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff You’re quite right. However, phobias aren’t permanent. You don’t have to go through life with them; that’s the point I am making.

As his parent, OP has a job to do in preparing her son for the world. That includes tackling phobias.

missyB1 · 25/08/2020 20:30

The thing is OP you can shout and swear until the cows come home but you can’t control every dog or their owners in the world. This situation could easily happen again either with that particular dog or another one. So wouldn’t it be better to find strategies to help your ds cope?

Oopsadaisydoddle · 25/08/2020 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoreListeningLessChatting · 25/08/2020 20:32

@ThunderSkies

Did you tell the dog owners all of this?

It isn't clear in your posts if you have.

I originally addressed this to the wrong person

singersarp · 25/08/2020 20:32

No one is perfect and just like human kids can be a right pain in the arse so can puppies. They shouldn't be letting their dog bolt toward your son but your son is going to have to learn to live in the world too and it includes unruly but friendly dogs.