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Original poster

What did one person say to you that changed your outlook on life?

288 replies

bearlyactive · 25/08/2020 11:10

I suppose I should go first...

They told me, after something bad happened to one of my relatives, that "the hole in your heart will never heal, but you'll learn to build yourself around it". I had been feeling hopeless up until that point, but it helped me change my viewpoint.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
familychallenge · 26/08/2020 20:29

I love the phrase 'does this help' and always try and think that before I act or speak. I have a sharp tongue and especially when I am upset or angry this mantra has stopped me making things worse!

Defiantly41 · 26/08/2020 20:30

Every choice involves loss

So much of my angst is due to conflicting desires (I want the cake and I want to fit in my jeans; I wanted to end my relationship but I didn't want to be the 'bad' person), when I discovered this, things became much clearer for me

user1471453601 · 26/08/2020 20:31

Two songs (so people). Only A Pawn in Their Game (bob dylan) helps me to understand a little what is happening in America. And a line from a Leonard Cohen song ( I'm v old 😊) "Their is a crack, a crack I everything. "That's how the light gets in".

The last One helps me when things go wrong. The "wrong" maybe the crack that let's the light in.

Letsnotargue · 26/08/2020 20:31

And watching a talk by Professor Brian Cox about the vastness of the universe and how many billions of planets there are. That put my work worries into perspective.

Sunshineboo · 26/08/2020 20:34

i was having a bad time and was not happy with relationship. saw a counsellor - she told me to look at the situation, but remember that it is not a numbers game. just because more things on the unhappy list doesn’t mean that i must leave. but really knowing what they are enabled me to both make an active decision and work on the bits i could. it was like a weight off my shoulders and i actually started to talk truthfully and fully about what was wrong with my head.

mummyp3e3 · 26/08/2020 20:52

After leaving an extremely abusive relationship, my exP best friends wife said to me how can you love a man who beats you black and blue.. It stuck with me and still does now. Needless to say a month later I planned my escape, found a beautiful house for myself and DD.. And have never felt happier... Its like a big dark cloud has lifted.
Never ever will I ever let anyone treat me like that again.

WindFlower92 · 26/08/2020 20:53

"I wish there was a wayto know you were in the good old days before you actually left them."

From US Office! Makes me remember to stop and appreciate what I have right now.

YouUnlockedTheGateAnd · 26/08/2020 20:55

if you can do 100% of the job on your first day, you're in the wrong job

Shit. I wish id had that one about 6 months ago 🤣. I mean I KNOW it’s true, but ...

Mine, as an overachieving perfectionist who would make myself unwell striving for the unattainable

‘good enough is good

Managed to stop myself staying up all night stressing over an essay or a report, and actually objectively assess the standard that was necessary and aim for that, rather than the inner voice of ‘better... better... it’s HAS to be better‘

YouUnlockedTheGateAnd · 26/08/2020 20:57

Rofl.

Cursed phone

Good enough IS GOOD ENOUGH

Squintybumcheek · 26/08/2020 21:01

Mine is not as profound as most of these but has really helped me lose weight and get out of the diet mindset and focus on healthy balanced eating.

'Eat food, not too much, mostly plants'

whattodo2019 · 26/08/2020 21:21

When I was going on and on about being over weight, my friend told me she had never met
Anyone so inspirational at work, kind, and go Getty so why on earth couldn't I lose some weight.

It totally transformed me, the way I looked at myself etc and I haven't looked back!

SkyMoo1 · 26/08/2020 21:22

Years ago, at a last session with a counsellor I'd been seeing for a few weeks (I went after my mother died for bereavement counselling but ended up talking through a lot of other stuff), she said, 'just remember that in any decision you make, your feelings count'. She said it in this emphatic way and said if I only took away one thing it should be that. That's really stayed with me. It sounds crazy, but in major decisions up to that point, I hadn't tended to put my feelings on the table. I just did what other people wanted me to do. Which led to a lot of unhappiness. Now, it's like a super power - I remember (usually) that my feelings are not only relevant but important and I act accordingly. My life is so much better now.

Writing that makes me want to send her a thank you card.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 26/08/2020 21:23

The judge saying "You are fortunate that the death penalty was abolished in 1969..."

As a result I have been sewing mail bags for you lot outside, but what with email and bloody TikTok demand has plummeted like a hangman's parcel and I've been shifted onto, first the vegetable garden (and we aren't allowed any metal or sharp tools - so that's been a bleeding laugh) and now I'm making sodding wooden toys.

userxx · 26/08/2020 21:28

@mummyp3e3 well done you, I hope you have nothing but happiness for the rest of your life.

Shortbrunette90 · 26/08/2020 21:41

I used to work with a complete cow, negative.. put people down , passive aggressive , etc. Anyway, she really got to me one day and I felt I was being too sensitive. I got my bus home, and the lady sat next to me and I started chatting, I explained what this cow was like and she said to me "Nice people are happy people, nasty people are unhappy inside" which made me think, it's her problem. And i stopped caring.

suchclearwater · 26/08/2020 21:44

Don't say why me? Say try me.

CountTessa · 26/08/2020 21:45

I was feeling a bit blue on a grey wet day, and an 82 year old told me she loved days like that because they reminded her of her wedding day.

It made me realise you can find a positive in many situations. That it's your take on the situation that determines how you deal and manage it.

Bless you Sylvia, you changed the way I see things.

Empra123 · 26/08/2020 21:46

A couple resonate for me. 2014 - 2018 were horrible years - so much went wrong that if I'd sent it to Eastenders as a possible storyline they'd have rejected it as too unrealistic. A friend reminded me of the Churchill saying "when you're going through hell, keep going"

And another friend after my father died - "grief is the price we pay for love"

BluebellCockleshell123 · 26/08/2020 21:48

When I was moaning that I was about to have a birthday with a zero, someone said to me “well - the alternative is worse”.

Made me really realise that actually I was bloody lucky to be alive and healthy.

INeedNewShoes · 26/08/2020 21:57

Someone has already said it but I also frequently recall the moment a uni lecturer said to me that no one else can make us feel something - how we feel is up to us. Or words to that affect.

And my lovely grandmother told me never ever to marry just for the sake of it. She may have made too much of an impression (long term single at 37).

Arthersleep · 26/08/2020 21:57

That success is when you set out your aims and achieve them, but that success can be anything that you want. For example, I wanted to sit around eating chocolate biscuits, watching TV and being with my children. It took some planning, but I have achieved that. I consider myself to be successful. Also, people who define success by money or status often work extraordinarily long hours, under lots of stress and have to commute/travel a lot. Most of us wouldn't want to do that, therefore there is no point converting what they have.

MiaFarrowsWheelbarrow · 26/08/2020 22:04

My favourites are:

"You don't get a dog and bark yourself"

and

"Sometimes you can over think something and by the time you have made your decision it's too late"

Both told to me by a kindly elderly neighbour who I used to confide in. Very useful phrases that have helped me keep focused over the years.

daisychain1620 · 26/08/2020 22:10

This is a very uplifting thread!
I have always been a sky watcher and no matter how stressed, worried etc to just stop and look up at the sky makes me realise how small we are in the universe and so do my worries really matter?
Many funny memories or stories I've heard told focus on something not great happening such as falling over, damaging something, missing a flight etc. Now, if something less than ideal happens I don't despair, I have learned to see the funny side and as long as it's not a total tragedy I know its not the end of the world and will be a funny story one day!

luckyduckydooda · 26/08/2020 22:29

Not something said to me personally, but I love the prose poem Desiderata- especially "You have a right to be here. "

suggestionsplease1 · 26/08/2020 22:38

I was at university studying 2nd year psychology some 20 years ago but experiencing a lot of anxiety myself which was really interfering with my ability to complete the course.

I plucked up the courage to go to my GP and explain the situation and was almost in tears about it. GP could see I was upset and asked me more and I explained I felt very embarrassed because I was doing psychology and felt I should have a better grasp of my mental health and emotions and not need to get outside support. And he just said 'Well I'm a GP but if I break my leg I still need to get help from other doctors.'

I'd been heaping further pressure and expectations on myself that were compounding my anxiety and he challenged my logic and took away that additional burden from me.
I guess it was the equivalent of the 'It's Ok to not be Ok' message. I believe it was responsible for greatly reducing my anxiety.