What did one person say to you that changed your outlook on life?

[bearlyactive]

I suppose I should go first...

They told me, after something bad happened to one of my relatives, that "the hole in your heart will never heal, but you'll learn to build yourself around it". I had been feeling hopeless up until that point, but it helped me change my viewpoint.

Anyone else?

[MuseumOfYou]

Sally Brampton wrote a column in the Sunday Times when I was having a hard time trying to come to terms with being done a great wrong by a friend. Sally said stop waiting for cosmic justice, that day will never come when former friend will be officially recognised by the whole world as right cow. She doesn't give a toss about you, as evidenced by her actions. Stop giving a toss about her, don't give her head space. Put your burden of anger down and go and do something nicer, make a cake, go to the beach etc etc. Something like that. It had a massive impact on me as I realised my bitterness was only hurting me.

[Kaiserin]

I had a very unhappy childhood/teenagehood (abusive household).
As a young adult I was just drifting, aimlessly going with the flow, successful by some measures (e.g. academic success), but still very unsure of what to do with my life.

Then one day (well, one night) I had a dream. I can't remember anything about it, except for one sentence: "I want to be happy".
I don't even know who said it in that dream (me? someone else? You know how fuzzy dreams can be...).
But daft as it may sound, it triggered a change, like it actually gave me some sense of purpose in life (arguably it might have been the start of me consciously considering my own self interest, as opposed to merely doing what others expected of me)

[ginandbearit]

Admit it , Fix it ,Move on
If you've messed up own up,clear it up and shut up ..a variation on the idea that if you own up to a mistake you can deflect criticism and not allow yourself to be held back by the need to revisit it all the time or let others guilt trip you .
Also Pull Your Own Strings by Wayne Dwyer, first self help book I read many years ago that gave me concrete advice that did nake a difference .

[ginandbearit]

And this ..😬

[Daisyandroses]

My Grandma- if you have you wait till payday you can’t afford it.

[sunsalutations]

"Don't piss them off" said to me by a manager a long time ago, early in my career. I'd been told to try and be more assertive but gone too far the other way.

It led to me adopting a less abrasive style at work and developing much better people skills, so much so that my current manager said she admires my ease with people

I also have heard 'Those that anger you, control you' which has stuck

[Ariela]

I'm a naturally untidy person, and I was once on a Time Management course with work. Most of it a waste of time...but there was one gem.

Handle each item only once.

It does work if you're the sort of person who like me tends to come in from work and dump a pile of stuff on the kitchen counter.
What I do when I remember the above statement is come into a tidy house, and hang up my coat, put my bag in the drawer, and chuck the leaflets that came in with the post immediately in the recycling (rather than leave them on the counter) and file the receipt for the central heating servicing, before I put the kettle on. If I do the kettle first the other stuff stays there!

[Smallsteps88]

“Who feels your anger?”

Asked by a therapist a few years ago when I was becoming consumed with anger about my ex abandoning our children and living his best life.

It was a real lightbulb moment. Who was feeling my anger? It was me! I was getting myself all riled up, while he was completely oblivious and unaffected by it. It didn’t improve my life one single bit to stay angry with him. I was right to be angry, it was an angering situation, but I could acknowledge that and then let it go. I didn’t need to hold onto it. That question has had such a profound effect on me because not only did I let go of anger I had been holding onto for years about him I also applied it to other situations that have happened since then. Some small, some large but I am such a happier person now. I very rarely feel angry anymore. I can’t remember the last time I was. Life is so much easier.

[Theyweretheworstoftimes]

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

And

"Comparison is the thief of Joy."

These are so true.

[Smallsteps88]

You’re welcome @Butterer

[MissClementine]

‘Ageing is a privilege’ A lady I used to work with said that to me one day when I was moaning about something to do with getting older. So true.

Another one I like is ‘Tomorrow is a new day’
which my Mum has always said to me when I’ve had a difficult day.

[AntsMarching]

I was frustrated after another relationship had ended and I was complaining to my friend that I wanted to meet the guy I was going to marry and be settled already. She said to me, "that may not happen for you."

That stopped me dead in my tracks and I realised she was right. I needed to stop chasing what I thought was the end goal and focus on what in my life made me happy. And I did and I created a life that I loved.

[Enko]

My drama and choir teacher in school when I went up to him to say bye prior to leaving school. (I grew up in Scandinavia so had known Him many years)

He shook my offered hand then placed his other hand over the other side of my hand and looked me into my eyes and said "

"Enko keep on daring to do stuff" Then he smiled and released my hands.

I have never forgotten it as for a moment there I felt like he had managed what none of the other teachers had and he had seen the real me. (I was badly bullied in school)

so when ever I have doubts about stuff I hear his voice and I go out and I dare to do stuff.

Its a good thing to do

[thatone]

Similar to a PP I have one from Brian Cox. On tv he was explaining that as the sun expanded and the earth became hotter, there would be one last perfect day. I just found that so poignant but also a reminder that each day could be our last perfect day so we should appreciate and make the most of the time that we have.

[Lollypop4]

"Happiness over stability".

Was in a dead end relationship, ptetty much a single parent living with a lodger (13 yrs together).

Left the relationship the day after someone told me the above!

[gillybombilly]

Letting go of negative people doesn’t mean that you hate them, it just means that you love yourself more.

When you’re going through hell, keep going.

[SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing]

Someone on here, about a decade ago

"you can't tell people what to think"

For some reason it stood out against the whole ragefest that the thread had become, clckrf surg me, and forever set up home in my brain. It permanently changed the way I speak with people.

[SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing]

Oh dear, typo fest there.

*clicked with me

[FlappyFish]

“You hit rock bottom when you stop digging.”

[OverTheRainbow88]

Mine was studying the Paley’s watch theory at school... that a watch is so intrinsically made it had to be designed and created by a watch maker and then comparing that to the universe.

[Twilightstarbright]

These are great.

I remember hearing the Eleanor Roosevelt one in The Princess Diaries as a teenager and it really helped me.

'people will always remember how you made them feel' I have terrible social anxiety and can mull over what I said for hours, but this helps me to remember if I say it with a smile and paying attention to them they'll feel like I was interested rather than thinking that I'm boring/daft/asking a silly question.

[MaveyWavey]

I was in a relationship years ago which I wanted out of, but financially I would struggle if I left. I would lose the house, wouldn’t be able to afford the things I enjoyed etc. My Dsis said ‘Mavey - its just ‘stuff’ and ‘stuff’ isn’t as important as happiness’. She was absolutely right, and I left him and have never been happier.

[LassoOfTruth]

What a wise thread!
It’s a variation on other sayings already mentioned but I’ve always liked Laozi’s "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step“. It was a favourite of an old colleague - by god life had dealt that woman some shitty cards but she was nearly always so cheerful, and kept on going, kept picking her feet up and walking onwards, as it were. Reminds me not to wallow and that action, just doing something is usually the way to improve things when times are tough.

[Gurufloof]

If someone asked you to name all the things you loved. How long would it take you to name yourself

Love this.

My best one that came too late to be useful was
Why are you scared of numbers, theres only 10 numbers anyway?

This was a couple years after my exams and I did badly in maths. Its helped since to be fair.

Another is the old you can't change people only how you react to them.
And finally from an old oprah show,
Now that you know better, you can do better. Resonated at the time , which was soon after princess diana died.