What did one person say to you that changed your outlook on life?

[bearlyactive]

I suppose I should go first...

They told me, after something bad happened to one of my relatives, that "the hole in your heart will never heal, but you'll learn to build yourself around it". I had been feeling hopeless up until that point, but it helped me change my viewpoint.

Anyone else?

[backseatcookers]

"Oh to have the confidence of a mediocre white man."

[bloodywhitecat]

Not what was said but somewhere I worked had a profound and lasting effect on me. I worked in a children's hospice and watching the children and their families who had been dealt the cruelest of hands changed me forever.

[Ciderandskatesdontmix]

Two things that stick in my mind, both said to me by my parents. When I was going through my divorce and was staring at a mountain of debt and having to start all over again. "If it can be replaced, it doesn't matter that much. Stuff is just stuff, the important things in life are irreplaceable".

When my son was born with a congenital disability "you can't change the hand you are dealt, only the way you play it".

[HollowTalk]

@middleager

And the MN classic, of course:

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

I think it was Roosevelt who said it originally!

[Squiffany]

@ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings

I used to be very anti woman when I was younger. Very "I don't really get on with other other women, most of my friends are men, I'm not like other girls etc etc", you know the type. And then when I was about 21/22 I met a woman who was so unapologetically passionately pro woman, and it just changed everything for me. She would talk a lot about how much she loved women, how she loved having mostly female friends, how clever and interesting and funny she thought women were. Sounds tragic but I don't think I'd ever heard someone praising women as a group like that before, just a lot of language from women apologising for being female or distancing themselves from other women as a way of gaining status with men. It really shook me up into a new way of thinking. She and I became inseparable best friends for the next few years and then sadly life took us to different sides of the world and we lost touch. But she had a really profound affect on me, I'll always think of her as a kind of soul mate. I think if we ran into each other again tomorrow it would be as if we'd never been apart.

Love your user name. Love that film, one of my faves.

[wellhelloyou]

A song lyric "they say the darkest hour is just before the dawn". I think about this a lot.

Also reading Dahl's wise words ...

"A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."

I personally say to my daughter everyday 'today will be the BEST day yet!' She happily skips off to class with a smile after I've said that, granted she is very young

[muckandnettles]

My Dad once said to me when I was struggling along a bit, two small dc, full time job, 'you'll look back on this as the best time of your life' and he was pretty well right. When he said it to me, I suddenly realised that I did have so many lovely things in my life and how it must look to someone who was widowed and had most of their life behind them. I try and remember that now that we are often in the good times we will look back on, but don't realise at the time.

[MJMG2015]

@daisypond

James Baldwin quote. I think about it a lot:
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.“

A slight variation of this. I think it's great.

Also 'who told you life would be fair?' It's not, but we just have to get on with it.

[MJMG2015]

@trevorandsimon

Feelings aren't facts

I'd forgotten about this one! It's become so much a part of me!

It's something I remind myself often!

[MJMG2015]

@middleager

My dad gave me a piece of advice that I still haven't mastered.

He told me that sone people are always waiting for the next stage in their lives, so...if I can just pay that off, or when the kids finish school, or if I wait until xxx we'll be better off etc. but that end point never comes - you have to embrace the here and now. I guess it's my clumsy way of explaining the old "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" quote.

I am always thinking if I can just hang on in my job, if I can wait until the kids finish school...but life is constant and there will always be something that requires attention/cash. I sometimes feel I'm wishing my life away rather than enjoying the here and now.

Yes, I've had periods of my life 'living in the moment', but I've spent far too much of it 'getting X done first'

It's hard to find the right balance

[Hoppinggreen]

You won’t get over this, but you will get past it

[Estuaryblue]

I was on a course with a man 25 years younger than me, statuesque, confident, funny, beautiful and a drag queen in his spare time. I'm a greying, middle aged, introverted grandmother. We got talking one day and found out that we'd both been through horrific sexual assault and that his outrageous and confident persona hid his ongoing ptsd. Near the end of the course I discovered my husband was having affair and I was devastated. My young male friend looked me in the eyes and said "honey we've survived the worst thing that can happen to anyone, we can survive anything". His words and his bravery took me through the next few years and have always stayed with me.

[indecisivewoman81]

"You reap what you sow" I'm a big believer in this

And

"This too shall pass"

[UnitedRoad]

My aunt once said to me ‘wherever you go, you take yourself with you’

It really had an impact on me, and I think of it often. At the moment I’m desperate to move house, as I’m very dissatisfied with my life, and feel a fresh start is just what I need. Every so often my aunts words echo in my head, and I remember that the most important thing is to sort myself out and get a grip.

[MumOfOneAndAHalf]

During a long and challenging fertility battle, my best friend (Who has had many difficult life events), said to me “I can’t promise that you will have a baby but I can promise that, no matter what, you will be ok”.

[Changednameforthisoneyeah]

When I was having a v bad time with my mental health and suicidal, somebody told me to stick around to watch the trees growing and getting older day by day. Using other people as a reason to keep going hadn't worked, but for some reason this did, and still does.

[Egghead68]

Pain’s inevitable, misery’s a choice.

I also like the one someone posted about how you can’t change the hand you are dealt, just how you play it.

[Knittedfairies]

Not something anyone said to me, more a realisation. When life dealt me something of a blow, I got caught up in thinking 'why me?' but reframed it as 'why not me?' I couldn't answer that.

[Immigrantsong]

Every time my parents abused me physically and emotionally and even ignored my suicide leaving me to die for my young kid sister to ring an ambulance.

I had to be the one loving myself against all they hatrance they had for me. It's still a work on process, but I am alive and working hard at being happy.

[onanotherday]

Many years ago I was in an unhappy marriage and struggling. Talking to a friend she said.. just remember life is not a rehearsal...this is it..

Reader I left him .. and later found another twat.. but that's for a different thread🤣🤣

But I always think about that saying if I'm not focused on the here and now.

[BrowncoatWaffles]

Two key things, one from a work colleague and one from a fitness instructor mentor type person.

1. Hope for the best prepare for the worst.
   
   
2. You can't change how other people behave, the only thing you can control is your reaction to it.
   
   When things get tough 90% of the time one or other of these statements seem to work!

[notheragain4]

There are two people who have profoundly changed my outlook.

First. When I was 20 something, very pro Tory, work hard get what you deserve ra-ra-ra (ironic considering I had a baby young and needed state help for a little while!) anyway, we were discussing council housing, and I staunchly believed a council house shouln't be for life and said as much, and my colleague just said "why? why doesn't someone deserve the security of a home for life just because they weren't able to buy one" and it just really stayed with me, honestly it was that question that made me reflect on my whole belief system and swung me straight over to the left where I have firmly stayed for the last 10 years.

Then the next, she is actually a well known TV academic. About 5 years ago, so by this point I was very much "woke" from my swing to the left. We randomly got on the topic of unisex bathrooms and I was like "what's the big deal, let's give trans people rights etc etc" and she just said, very gently "well I think we have a lot to sort out with women's rights first" and that one little phrase gave me permission to realise I didn't need to follow one set belief system, that actually, I could be what I view as politically compassionate but actually challenge this trans movement and the impact it's having on women, and it doesn't make me a bad person. As she was such an intelligent woman, I needed that to feel I was allowed to feel that way.

Sorry very political there and I appreciate many won't share those views, but I try to remind myself now to challenge my opinions and not be afraid to change them.

[notheragain4]

Sorry I realise mine aren't very poetic or meme-worthy ha!

[jeremypaxo]

I was in a lot of debt in my twenties. About £16k at its worst. I used to put my hand in my pocket for other people all the time - I don't know why, I think maybe I felt like I had to keep up with wealthier friends, or even entice their friendship. It was a bit fucked up but just something I did without thinking. I'd always be the first one to offer a round of drinks, buy someone dinner on their birthday etc. All while the debt was mounting up, and I had literally nothing to show for it.

One day I was out with an old childhood friend and his new fiancée. They had just got engaged and I said I wanted to buy them a bottle of champagne. She said it was too expensive, I insisted. He said to her "it's alright, she's obviously got money to burn so let her do it".

I don't know why but that made a lightbulb go off in my head. I suddenly realised that that's how people saw me - as just having money to burn rather than as being kind or generous. I stopped spending money like water after that and eventually got myself out of debt and in a good financial position. All because of that throwaway comment!

[ImaWomAnnotaWomEn]

Not a person in RL obviously, but this thought has helped me at certain times.