What did one person say to you that changed your outlook on life?

[bearlyactive]

I suppose I should go first...

They told me, after something bad happened to one of my relatives, that "the hole in your heart will never heal, but you'll learn to build yourself around it". I had been feeling hopeless up until that point, but it helped me change my viewpoint.

Anyone else?

[CorianderLord]

My yr10 English teacher. I'd always been good at school but bad at English. After several months of loaning me her books she said 'Coriander, why can't you see who you are? If you tried you could be the most talented child I've ever taught'.

Sounds cunty but I did go on to get a BA and MA in English easily and win several awards. She changed my life. I always thought I was shit at English, but actually I'd been too scared to give my opinion.

[starray]

@JaJaDingDong

I remember my maths teacher explaining to us back in the 70s that she wasn't more intelligent than us, she just knew more.
It blew my mind! 😀

I love this one! It's so growth mindset! :-))

[Deadringer]

@mrsk247syd

One of my favourite quotes is:

If someone asked you to name all the things you loved. How long would it take you to name yourself?

I don't know why, but that one made me cry.

[Californiastreaming]

Cut the deadwood from around your neck to stop toxic people dragging you down, Khloe Kardashian said it and in the circumstances i was I that's exactly how I felt, one by one snip the hangers on away giving me breathing space.

[Rachellow]

@flowerycurtain

Would you like to come to Alpha

Love this one! My atheist mum suggesting I ask a girl if I could go to a thing at her church absolutely changed my life.

[MouseholeCat]

Although I'm not religious, my Grandma is. She taught me the serenity prayer (also used by alcoholics anonymous!) when I was a very anxious teen and it's something I think about all the time.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

[toomanyeggs]

Changed my outlook on my marriage...

Things have been quite rocky for us for a while. 2 things made me rethink...

I am a DV safety officer at work, and updated my training during lockdown. The latest course was all about verbal/emotional abuse etc. I starred at the writing and thought "that's what I am experiencing"

Not long after that, I was having a bad day, and a sob on my friend's shoulder, and said "I'd like to think if I was really struggling, he'd help" she simply said "you ARE really struggling"

Those two things came off the back of each other quite quickly, and really made me sit up and changed my outlook.

Currently trying to leave.

[GetThatHelmetOn]

“Don’t be a victim, it disempowers you”

Such an eye opener, taking responsibility for at least a part of what happens to us give us the power to change. That doesn’t happen if we put the blame elsewhere as them something outside us has to change for things to improve and honestly... that is not going to happen.

Another one was a cliche said to me by the happiest creative person I have met “home is where your heart is. That’s inside you, nowhere else”. Since then I have gone around the world taking my home (thoughts, culture, affections) with me, no matter what country I am at.

[DancingCatGif]

@GetThatHelmetOn

The victim thing is so true, once I stopped thinking of myself like that, I became much happier

[kierawhogives]

If they don't like you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best.

[Egghead68]

Don’t be a victim, it disempowers you”

Such an eye opener, taking responsibility for at least a part of what happens to us give us the power to change. That doesn’t happen if we put the blame elsewhere as them something outside us has to change for things to improve and honestly... that is not going to happen

Not sure about that one. Are we supposed to take responsibility for being raped?

Loads of shitty things can happen to us which are literally none of our responsibility.

[DancingCatGif]

"Not sure about that one. Are we supposed to take responsibility for being raped?

Loads of shitty things can happen to us which are literally none of our responsibility."

It's more like, yes, this shitty thing happened but no one is going to be able to save you except yourself.

[middleager]

I have a tendancy to fear the worst, worrying about events that haven't yet happened. Part of my anxiety.
A poster on another thread has just written to another poster

Don't borrow trouble from the future!

Never heard this before, but will heed this advice re catastrophising.

[Quire]

Well, this thread shows that one person's invaluable piece of mind-altering advice is someone else's meaningless or actively unhelpful cliché -- I honestly think someone of these are remarkably poor statements by which to live your life.

[bearlyactive]

@Quire

Well, this thread shows that one person's invaluable piece of mind-altering advice is someone else's meaningless or actively unhelpful cliché -- I honestly think someone of these are remarkably poor statements by which to live your life.

Each to their own

I'm glad you all like this thread! Keep them coming!

[McZeba]

Don't settle yet, go to University, live some life, you are worth more than what you think you are. There is more out there for you. Thank you Mikey - those words inspired me and set my life on an amazing path x

[HerBigChance]

@Quire

Well, this thread shows that one person's invaluable piece of mind-altering advice is someone else's meaningless or actively unhelpful cliché -- I honestly think someone of these are remarkably poor statements by which to live your life.

But any advice could be regarded as cliched. You take what you want or need from any advice in that moment. I think threads like this are incredibly helpful, usually reinforcing (or introducing) some quite basic gut-instinct advice across the board that is helpful to bear in mind.

[bruce43mydog]

It was a manager at work she knew I had started a diet. And asked me how it was going.

I told her it wasn't going that well.

And she just said

Oh but you can do it

Them few words made me belive in myself and I got straight back on the diet.

Words spoken at the right moment are powerful.

[Gurufloof]

Well, this thread shows that one person's invaluable piece of mind-altering advice is someone else's meaningless or actively unhelpful cliché -- I honestly think someone of these are remarkably poor statements by which to live your life

I dont think any of us live our whole lives around these statements, but at that time in our life, these things resonated.
My gran used to say a stitch in time saves nine, its trite, its a common saying, and its true but at the ages I was when she told me this (and other trite stuff) it meant nothing. A child doesn't care cos they dont sew, and the bigger meaning escapes a 7 year old.

My maths one (only 10 numbers what's to be scared of) came after I had miserably failed my exams, worrying about how I will do in life blah blah.
Admitted it came too late to pass exams, but after hearing it i have never been bothered by being given change, banking, wages etc. It was crippling to be innumerate all those previous years.

[Redcups64]

It’s irresponsible to never be selfish. You should be responsibly selfish instead.

That one hit me hard, I do and give everything to others, kids, work, husband and often put myself out at the expense of living my life a little bit. I’m now slowly trying to be more responsibly selfish and doing things for me now....on the sole basis that I just want too.

It’s difficult not being a people pleaser when you are one though.

[slipperyeel]

Amazing thread.

[Redcups64]

Deadringer

mrsk247syd
One of my favourite quotes is:

If someone asked you to name all the things you loved. How long would it take you to name yourself?


That’s a good one!!

[bearlyactive]

I've thought of another one! Someone (it might have been on here?) was debating about whether to go back on medication for her depression, saying that "They don't make me feel like the real version of myself."

Someone else then pointed out "Yes, but you're the alive version of you, and that is preferable."

I don't know why, but that's really stuck with me.

[cheesecrackersandchips]

I've made it to the end of this thread and have copied and pasted so many of these sayings.

Mine is if you don't ask, you don't get.