Does anyone still co-sleep with their school aged child?

[itustiime]

DS is only 3 but I'm aware school is only a year away. We've always shared a bed (we both sleep better that way but it's also culturally normal for me)

Do I need to have him sleeping on his own by school age?

See ^^ adults sleeping together massively comes over little kids

You get inventive with your sex life. It's a 1+1 thing.

Personally I think it's strange to go to bed together. Who gets tired at the same time as their spouse? Not ruddy me that's for sure. Flip side of the same coin imo.

I co slept with my parents until I was about 14. Culturally it was normal - my dad on one corner of the bed, mum between us, and then my baby sister and me in the other corner. As an adult I do wonder when my parents ever got any private time, but it eventually ended when we moved/had more space and I could sleep in my own bedroom.
Culturally (not from the UK and grew up in Asia) this was perfectly normal so no one would tease us or mock us - only very rich kids at school had separate bedrooms etc - more common to have mattresses rolled out and sleep in the living area at night.
I’m perfectly well adjusted and would have sleepovers with cousins and friends just fine.
My own DD sleeps on her own for the most part (she’s nearly 3) but we often all nap together on weekends.

I co slept with DS until we recently moved house. He's 7. I'm single so no issues there and I had a super king bed. But I bought him a new high sleeper bed that he wanted on the condition that he slept in it every night! He's moved into it fine. I didn't have an issue with the co sleeping but I think he was getting too old for it now.

I think as long as they have an option to go in their own space it's fine. I wouldn't want them to feel it was expected or anything. There were a couple of us still cosleeping when DS was in reception. DD wanted to be in her own room at 4 so before school. Both of them were fine with sleepovers before they stopped cosleeping at home, they didn't seem to see it as the same thing at all.

@Wolfgirrl I’m not sure kids actually sleep at sleepovers anyway. That’s a novel situation regardless what the sleeping situation is at home so it’s unlikely to make a difference.

I’m cosleeping with DS3 (2 weeks old) right now. DH is making an enormous fuss about it already but, frankly, it’s not him that’ll get no sleep any other way. And having him there while breastfeeding doesn’t mean he won’t be in his own bed at 7 or whatever. DS1 and 2 were in their own beds by 18 months (because extended cosleeping is not for me).

I’ve had to share a bed with DS2 a couple of times over the last couple of years. It’s like sleeping with a huge octopus. He’s a nightmare.

@Wolfgirrl

I was surprised at just how many teens were still co-sleeping.

Teens?!?!??!! I'm sorry but I find that really weird.

Of course you do @Wolfgirrl

@gamerchick

Really, getting the sofa sweaty 🤢 no thanks.

I just think this is one of those things where parents martyr themselves and put their own needs on the backburner, then wonder why they're more like flatmates with their other half.

My daughter is 1 and sleeps in her own bedroom just fine. If she wants to sleep in our bed if she is poorly or has a nightmare now and then, that would be fine. But every night?! Until teenage years? I do find that very odd and co dependent.

I think it matters more when they get to school as they will go on residentials and sleepovers etc, plus they would probably be a bit teased if everyone found out.

'Teens?!?!??!!m sorry but I find that really weird.'

I used to beg my mum to come and sleep with me in my double bed, probably till I was 14/15 or so! She used to grumble about it but would usually give in, bringing a pillow to 'put down the middle'. I felt so safe, it was warmer, and I found it much more comforting than sleeping alone in the dark.

I think I'm actually bog-standard normal but thank you for being 'sorry' about finding me "weird".

You should definitely try some sofa sex @Wolfgirrl. It’d be boring to only ever have sex in bed. 😆

Lordy I'm about to get piled I can just tell 🙈

@ExtremelyBoldSquirrels

It's not about boring it's about hygienic. I wouldnt be enamoured with sitting on a sofa was that regularly used for sex. Its icky.

Outdoors, or shower, etc no problem.

Looking forward to more posts about how I must have a dull private life etc to detract from the subject at hand

Really, getting the sofa sweaty 🤢 no thanks

Is that the realms of your imagination? Do you only do it at night in the bed? There's no fun in that!

So again, I'm going to ask, why is is strange to co sleep with small kids but grown adults shouldn't or can't?

Ive co slept with all my children in some shape or form from birth. The youngest two still regularly get in with me. The older one will snuggle in to watch TV for a bit and then disappear off unless it's Repair Shop in which case he falls asleep mid way as it's 'so relaxing mum!' The youngest sometimes makes his way to his own bed but rarely. I need to work on getting him in his own bed a lot more as I am starting not to sleep so well with him there every night. but it's hard when their dad uses both their beds at his house to store suitcases and laundry so they always are in with him so the youngest doesn't get any consistent messages (I'm bit concerned about them sharing a bed with their dad as it's no different to with me but I wish he would just at least try but Disney Dad is easier than actual parenting...)

I also wonder whether it hinders children at sleepovers if they're not used to sleeping on their own, or in their own bed. No, it didn't at all. DS stayed with friends, family, went away with Cubs from 7, and on a week long holiday camp with strangers at 7. He didn't care who he slept with, just didn't like to be alone.

Re sleepovers - my two have no bother at all. In fact they relish sleeping somewhere fresh and the youngest couldn't wait to ditch me for his cousins room recently! I think ensuring they are secure and happy regardless of what that looks like family to family is key

I've never co slept with any of kids. Always slept in their own beds and slept through. As a child I never slept in my parents bed. When the children are young I don't see it is as a problem. If my 9&8 year old co slept with me and their friends found out no doubt they would get some ribbing about it.

Mine coslept waaay past 3. Very happy memories for all of us. Each to their own of course but we loved the snuggles and the kids did just fine at school. Just do whatever makes him feel secure.

I suspect that a lot of people will tell you that it's important for him to learn to sleep independently, but I would be guided by your child's needs and not the opinions of random strangers.

... says a random stranger

My DH is fine with it. Not particularly for it or against it, but just for keeping our children feeling happy and secure whatever that entails.
Our sleeping situation is much easier and calmer than people we know who end up spending half their nights on children’s bedroom floors because they insist on their kids being in their own rooms, or the people who traipse between bedrooms tending to crying toddlers 5x a night and getting no sleep themselves.

My DH was brought up quite similarly in a family that was, I think, seen as quite hippy-ish so to him it’s normal that we muddle along happily like this.

I was brought up sleeping in my own room no excuses. I was even left to cry alone in my cot and I feel so strongly that my children will have better than that.

My just turned 8 year old sleeps with me,she says she doesn't like sleeping alone,only a nightmare when my 14 year old very rarely wants me to sleep with her and by the middle of the night there's 3 in a bed as the 8 year old has woken cos I'm not there.

I also wonder whether it hinders children at sleepovers if they're not used to sleeping on their own, or in their own bed

I didn't co-sleep as a child and always loved my own bed and that was a sleepover killer for me! Until I was about 10, I hated them as I really missed my mum, my own bed and just being at home, so it's not only co-sleepers who find sleepovers difficult

Children mature at different ages and if you're happy with them co-sleeping, there shouldn't be an issue. Some children just need the comfort of their parent/s to settle. They will grow out of it in their own time, when they're ready.

My daughter slept well in her cot up until around one then had a year long wobble where she would only sleep with us. It was too upsetting for everyone to try and force her into her cot and we came to conclusion that if that was what she needed l, that was what we'd do. After a year, she decided she wanted to go back into her own room and bed and everyone was happy.

I do hope that my DD will stop soon. I actually do think it has impacted my marriage a bit, not because DH minds but because we don’t get that couple time.

@Wolfgirrl girl, I get you and feel the same regarding length of time/ages of kids. I just wonder how it affects chatting in bed, giggling and sharing secrets with spouses, etc. Or just even having downtime, either alone or with your partner. I’m guessing maybe other people who think like us may not be contributing to the thread though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

DH is thrilled he doesn't have to actually sleep in a bed with me, apparently I'm very wiggly (and he snores like hell) 😃

I co-slept until 9 and never had any problems with sleepovers.

Yup my 10yo DD still co-sleeps with me when she feels like it.