Does anyone still co-sleep with their school aged child?

[itustiime]

DS is only 3 but I'm aware school is only a year away. We've always shared a bed (we both sleep better that way but it's also culturally normal for me)

Do I need to have him sleeping on his own by school age?

Mine only started co-sleeping with me when she was school-aged - about three years now. She’s nine.

Yes. Has his own bed but would wake in the night and stumble across the hall to mine. During lockdown this switched to him just coming back to my bed and it's stayed that way. When he's ill it's easier as he gets a bad chest and I can be aware of his breathing getting rapid, but that's not why we do it, it's just more of a 'why not'. I was still lying with him to get him to sleep when he was in his own bed, it's just the kid he is. Bedtime is way, way less protracted now he's back with me and I don't end up frustrated at the end of the day trying to get him to stop dicking about!

My 8 yr old is in with me every night. He slept in his cot 6-6 at five months, then went into a bed and slept beautifully. The week he started school he came in with me one night and never left. He won’t do it forever

My 8 yr old sleeps with me. I love it - it’s so cosy. My DS also did but dropped around 9 or 10 and is very happy in his own room now.

DS was out of my bed at 2, then back in at 5 when he outgrew the toddler bed and didn't want to sleep in the single bed in his room. Started sleeping in his room at 8. Shared a room with me at 10 while staying with family for a few months, then in my bed again at 11 for a few months after that as his room was now on a different floor to mine. He's now 14.

He's had no issues staying over with family or friends and has been going on camps since 7. He was always quite happy as long as he wasn't sleeping in a room alone.

I’ve started to insist both of mine start in their own beds as of this summer. Dd 9 will sleep through in her bed. Dd 6 still sneaks in around 3 am most nights. Do what works for you.

My dc are 7 and 9 and have their own beds. They nearly always share a bed though.

They nag me all the time to sleep in my bed but I never get any sleep with them elbowing me and wriggling about and ds grinds his teeth.
I do let them sometimes though and they love us all snuggling up.

Your ds is still really little. If you are both happy then I wouldn't worry about it.

My youngest co slept right until puberty. He would have gone on longer as he gets cold he says but it was definitely time. I've known girls especially co sleep right into their teens.

I definitely wouldn't worry about aged 3

No objections to co sleeping here although I do find it strange that you sleep in his room. Wouldn't it be better for you to sleep in your room and he can choose his bed or yours?

@gamerchick

I've known girls especially co sleep right into their teens.

It's lovely to read this. My dd still does. She's autistic and terrified of being alone or in the dark. I never like to admit it though as there's so much judgment. That said I was in a large group on FB where they did a survey on co-sleeping and I was surprised at just how many teens were still co-sleeping. I know it's not unusual but I think some are strenuously judgmental about it so no one talks about it.

I guess the risk of being bullied for it.

I doubt it would come up honestly. My son loves having people round and showing them “my room” and “my bed”, he wouldn’t think to mention that sometimes he sleeps in that bed and sometimes he doesn’t and that Daddy normally sleeps in there too. He probably thinks all children sleep like that. I actually kind of hope he does think that. I know that when I had our second baby that he understood or assumed that babies need to spend all their time sleeping on / next to their mothers.

My 5 yo turns up in our bed most nights. We couldn't stop it if we wanted to as we don't wake up when she comes in.

Our 9 year old doesn't do this anymore, but does sleep in with me if DH goes away.

I like waking up next to DD1 or DD2, I don't object at all. The only caveat is that they don't get to go for sleepovers until they don't do this anymore, but also not until they are 8. I am not keen on sleepovers unless we know the family well, so it isn't a problem.

@YgritteSnow

*@gamerchick*

I've known girls especially co sleep right into their teens.

It's lovely to read this. My dd still does. She's autistic and terrified of being alone or in the dark. I never like to admit it though as there's so much judgment. That said I was in a large group on FB where they did a survey on co-sleeping and I was surprised at just how many teens were still co-sleeping. I know it's not unusual but I think some are strenuously judgmental about it so no one talks about it.

It really doesn't matter. I don't get the judgement when you get grown adults who can't sleep without their spouse and think that seperate beds in a marriage is weird but bairns are expected to sleep alone from a young age.

It just doesn't matter at all. Sleep is king, how cares how it comes about?!

Ours slept with us. It was fine, we all got a good night's sleep. It won't go on forever, there will come a time when your child will want to sleep in own room but it doesn't hurt. Yours is still little.

For the co-sleepers, how do their partners and spouses feel about this? How does it affect your relationships and sex lives?

My 8 and almost 11 year olds would if they could, and love it if they are allowed to stay in my bed or if I stay in with them all night.

My nine year old daughter sleeps in my bed every night.

@JingsMahBucket I’m single. But my ex partner and I had co slept for five years prior to us splitting, firstly with our first daughter, then our second. Our sex life was great still, just rarely in the bed. The co sleeping didn’t contribute to our break up.

@JingsMahBucket my partner is happy for our children to co-sleep (my eldest no longer sleeps in our bed but our youngest does). It means we all sleep better. We have a great sex life, our daughter does go in her cot for the first part of the night, otherwise there are lots of other places other than the bed.

@JingsMahBucket

For the co-sleepers, how do their partners and spouses feel about this? How does it affect your relationships and sex lives?

I'm single and perfectly happy to be

I’m also single so don’t have the worry about having to share a bed with DS and a partner. I never want another partner/relationship so I’m quite happy with him coming in with me for as long as he needs me (plus he keeps me warm in winter

(plus he keeps me warm in winter)

That’s cute. Make him earn his keep! :)

My 2 shared a bedroom but actually slept in with me until they were 8 & 10, they stopped when we moved house and they got their own bedrooms.

I got them into the habit of sleeping in their own beds so many times, but then Illness or nightmares would bring them back into my bed for one night and then my bed was a free for all once again 😁

I wouldn't change it for the world.

I dont understand how co sleeping with a child above the age of 1ish doesnt impact your relationship (unless you're single obviously!). Me and DP really enjoy chatting and reading in bed for about an hour before we go to sleep, also it would offer zero privacy for other couple activities. You would have to get up really quietly in the morning so as not to wake them etc, all really inconvenient. I also wonder whether it hinders children at sleepovers if they're not used to sleeping on their own, or in their own bed.

I was surprised at just how many teens were still co-sleeping.

Teens?!?!??!! I'm sorry but I find that really weird.