Things that you are supposed to know about but don't.

[DoItForTheDucks]

Does anyone else feel completely lost when their hairdresser asks them what they want done with their hair? I've no idea beyond Please cut it, preferably with scissors and not garden shears and stop cutting before the point where I start to resemble a rather more elephantine Bruce Willis. They throw all these hairdressing jargon at me and I've no idea what any of it means. I look them up occasionally then immediately forget.

Likewise interior design. I have no idea what looks good with what and which colours complement each other. It is a complete mystery to me. I know that colour wheels exist but I'm none the wiser for them. I'd love to have an innate sense of style but it's never going to happen.

Finally. Jeans. There are so many types of them. Boyfriend, girlfriend, Mom, Step Brother, Ex MIL, Postman's wife etc. How do you know the difference?

What everyday things baffle you?

Types of coffee. I only drink tea for a start, but I have no idea what half of the stuff they sell in costa or Starbucks actually is.

I can do the jeans, not bad with colours but YY on the hair. I just will them to cut it nicely.

How to order coffee in hipstery places. I did like the McDonalds advert a while ago.

Periods/ovulating etc. Not entirely keen on how that all works.

Apparently I was supposed to know how to darn a sock, according to my dad. He laughed in my face when I asked about it then posted on Facebook so he and all his mates could laugh about "young people these days". Yes, well, maybe I would know if you'd taught me, you old git! How else am I supposed to know!?

I'm with you on the haircut thing.

I actually have a massive list of things like this I'm supposed to know but don't, like how are you supposed to do scalp plaits? Or a normal plait at the back of your head for that matter? I've recently also realised that I don't know how to mop. What do you put in the bucket? Again, I was never taught, and never needed to do it until now.

I feel a little better now knowing that I'm not the only one who is completely clueless about hair.

Owleyes16. Do people still darn socks? I've never known anyone to do so, except in books.

The Gulf War, middle East issues, Northern Ireland... I feel really stupid quite often.

Matched betting
Cash back
Eyeliner
Actually, make-up in general

@Afwan I can do those cash back as in Quidco type stuff?

Yes! Any and all of that has passed me by. When I order something I sometimes get a cash back offer thing pop up but it seems to involve signing up or signing someone else up to a scheme? Get panicky and close the tab

Biiiiig yes to the hairdresser.

Lots of DIY stuff like hanging a picture properly or putting up shelves.

I literally understand nothing about gardening.

I'm with you on the hairdresser.

That's why I've not changed mine, although she costs £££ as she's been promoted through several grades over the last few years. My hair is short, and I get it cut every 6-8 weeks. I don't even need to tell her what I want, she just does it.

The thought of having to tell another hairdresser what I want fills me with utter dread. I'm sure she's going to start a family soon, and I'm going to have to take photos from every angle after a cut to show to a new hairdresser!

I had to mop the floor at work with one of those stringy mops. Fortunately am quite senior so no one commented on it looking shocking

Eye makeup

Cocktails

Rules of most team sports

I haven’t got a clue how to put air in my tyres and how the hell are you supposed to know you haven’t over-pumped them?

Someone Else needs to do this.

I had to mop the floor at work with one of those stringy mops. Fortunately am quite senior so no one commented on it looking shocking

This made me laugh

I am a proficient mopper and I can put air in my tyres. I'm feeling quite accomplished.

mopping
brush floor
fill up bucket with hot water, fairy liquid and a splash of bleach
mop
leave to dry

Betting. Don,t understand odds or how to place a bet.
Maths.
Plant names.

@Afwan I don't do those but I do use Quidco app. Basically you open a Quidco account (free) and if you buy anything online, search for the website name on the Quidco app and it tells you if there's cash back. Click the website from the app and shop normally, then you get cash back in your Quidco account! Sometimes takes a while to pay out but I usually get about £200 per year and I forget to use it a lot. Good for big purchases, car insurance, changing internet etc

Matched betting I also do and it took me about a week to get it but after that it became really easy

Subway - I just want a bloody sandwich, not the formula for a global domination weapon!

Thanks for the synopsis @QueenCT - so how do you extract the cash you've accumulated from the Quidco account? Can you take it as cash or do you have to spend it on affiliated links?

@Mamette you look up the required inflation pressure in you're car's manual, and tell the machine to do it. Then it beeps when it's done!

DH got to 27 without knowing how to put petrol in a car.

I know nothing about how to do make up properly. Or pick nice clothes.

@Mamette Don’t worry, you’re not alone there. Pulled up to the air machine a while ago and two women were trying and failing to do theirs. They were baffled as to how you know how much air to put in them, they had no idea it’s on the tyre itself.
This is the sort of stuff they should teach you before you pass your test!

I can’t do smart casual. I can do ‘off to walk the dogs and just got out of bed’ or ‘full on out out’
I struggle with the in between.

I dont understand so many things.
Coffee...when the 12 year old behind the counter hits me with a load of skinny,crapacinno, supersize what not, I just say slowly" I dont know what you call it these days. I would just like a white coffee please"
Netflix. Dont know what it is or how to access it. Same with anything TV related. I point teen DS at the telly and say " Find ( name of programme).
Make up and contouring. I'm fucking 56. I know what foundation, eyeshadow, lipstick and blusher are. What else is there?
My car. I want a CD player in it. Now I have to connect my Spotify via Bluetooth....apparently. what happened to CD players in cars???
If teen DS isnt there, I drive in silence.

I hate this world!

I find people sometimes say oh look a bird, it is a kite / hawk / gull / ?? / ...that's all I can think of. I have no idea how they know. Or how they even notice. I really couldn't be less interested.

Also when people can identify the type of tree, bush or other plant. I am non the wiser!

Computers. No idea how they work. Just glad that they do.
I have a lot of friends who work with them and, every time I mention this, they take it as an invitation to tell me, in great detail, how computers work. I have since perfected the art of going "mmm hmm".

Make up. Both how to put it on and how other people can be arsed to do it every day. The few times I've tried it I end up looking like a drag queen after a month out on the tear.
Not quite the London look.

Different ' tones ' in makeup / lipstick etc

Connecting electrical devices
Putting screen wash in car
Makeup
History