Things that you are supposed to know about but don't.

[DoItForTheDucks]

Does anyone else feel completely lost when their hairdresser asks them what they want done with their hair? I've no idea beyond Please cut it, preferably with scissors and not garden shears and stop cutting before the point where I start to resemble a rather more elephantine Bruce Willis. They throw all these hairdressing jargon at me and I've no idea what any of it means. I look them up occasionally then immediately forget.

Likewise interior design. I have no idea what looks good with what and which colours complement each other. It is a complete mystery to me. I know that colour wheels exist but I'm none the wiser for them. I'd love to have an innate sense of style but it's never going to happen.

Finally. Jeans. There are so many types of them. Boyfriend, girlfriend, Mom, Step Brother, Ex MIL, Postman's wife etc. How do you know the difference?

What everyday things baffle you?

Also, tax.

I fucking hate tax. Everything to do with it has bad grammar and is impossible to understand.

I moved back to the UK when I was 7 months pregnant after having been away over 15 years. I was totally baffled by all the baby jargon and my very kind friends offering to lend me jumperoos, gro eggs, tripp trapps and Ewan the dream sheep. I was totally broke so accepted their kind offers then had to go away and Google what I had just said yes to. I already had a 2 year old that was glued to me for the first year and all the baby gadgets certainly made life easier the second time around.

How to bring up children.

@riotlady it varies on different cars. Most have a recommended service interval, and it'll be something like "every 16,000 miles or 12 months, whichever comes first"
So if you do high mileage you will need the car servicing more often
There's usually two types, an interim service and a major. The big service changes all the filters and oil, the little one is often just an oil and filter change. In small words the oil and filter get dirty and need changing plus if the car is under warranty it can invalidate it if you skip the service. It usually alternates so one year have a big service, the next year a little one
There is other stuff like the cam belt which needs doing every so often, but that's like every 10 years. And cars vary on when they need servicing but then it starts getting complex!

This should definitely be a skill swap advice thread!
I can do matched betting, Quidco, most car stuff and makeup
No idea about DIY, sewing or politics

Gardening. I am a horticultural ignoramus and have absolutely no interest in or knowledge of the subject. Flowers make me sneeze, I hate floral smells and the only ones I recognise are daffodils. I have no interest in plants, unless I can eat them. A tree is a tree, unless something edible grows on it.

I always assumed that Gardening was something you sort of automatically grew into as you get older. Now I’m over 50 and I still have zero interest, so that theory is out of the window.

The US electoral system. Colleges, Caucasus’s, senators, congressmen etc

I really wish I got it as I love following election results and understanding the significant of polls.

I felt the same about Middle East but I’ve been reading about it for past two years and feel I know a tiny bit more but have lots and lots still to learn/understand.

Totally with you on the haircut thing. But it seems that I can now same “same as last tome” and she then repeats what that was in all it’s technical glory and I nod happily. And then hope for the best.

@Tolleshunt

How to clean my oven.

Any and all of the car maintenance stuff. No clue how to add water, oil, screen wash etc or pump up the tyres. I have to check which side the petrol goes in before leaving for the garage every time I have to fill it up. It’s like a mental block now. I come out in a cold sweat the minute I think I might have to do something with the car other than basic driving.

Lol! I'm the total opposite. I can check tyre depth and pressure, top up fluids, replace bulbs and even change a wheel. But ask me to drive somewhere I've never been before and I won't sleep that night worrying about it.

@1984isnow

I don't know how you know when the petrol thing is full. Apparently it will just stop letting you put more in but I still avoid filling the car up myself if I can, incase it bursts.

Really?? The pump just turns off when it gets to the top! The trigger you press to put petrol in just stops working. I dare you to try it.

Never worn make up. Dont have a clue.
But people say my face looks nice!

Dont drink coffee, so no idea on the different types.

Cant wear high heels...
Dont own a dress or a skirt

I can mow the lawns and trim the hedges.
Not much else in the way of gardening.

I thought it was just me with the hairdresser. I hate going. In fact, one of the best things about lockdown is not being able to go. Unfortunately, it now looks quite scruffy.

I also don't quite get makeup either. I understand the mechanics but have no idea what suits me. When the lady at the makeup counter 'does' my face, I think it looks terrible! But, apparently, she doesn't.

No idea about different types of jeans. They all look the same to me.

Technology, however, I do understand!

@Fairyfellowsmasterstroke

Bitcoins - What are they????

Imaginary money, created by computers, which you can buy (using real money), trade & sell on the internet.

When Bitcoin was first invented, some people thought it could replace real money in the real economy, but it never caught on because it was too ‘techie’ for ordinary people to use, too complex for them to understand and its value was too volatile for it to be a useful currency.

Now, it is used as a plaything for speculators / gamblers, and is used by criminals to trade drugs, guns & other illegal stuff.

@dementedma

I dont understand so many things. Coffee...when the 12 year old behind the counter hits me with a load of skinny,crapacinno, supersize what not, I just say slowly" I dont know what you call it these days. I would just like a white coffee please" Netflix. Dont know what it is or how to access it. Same with anything TV related. I point teen DS at the telly and say " Find ( name of programme). Make up and contouring. I'm fucking 56. I know what foundation, eyeshadow, lipstick and blusher are. What else is there? My car. I want a CD player in it. Now I have to connect my Spotify via Bluetooth....apparently. what happened to CD players in cars??? If teen DS isnt there, I drive in silence.

I hate this world!

I’m 57, I teach IT, I use Bluetooth and streaming in my car and watch most of my tv via streaming services. I respect young people and don’t refer to someone at work as a 12 year old, and I love this technological world!

War and politics in our modern times. You think you know and then you find out 'no, they are allies because of the sales of arms in 20... whatever.

I do try to stay educated.

Mortgages
How much cars cost
How electricity works
Card games like poker

[quote ThickFast]@1984isnow

I don't know how you know when the petrol thing is full. Apparently it will just stop letting you put more in but I still avoid filling the car up myself if I can, incase it bursts.

Really?? The pump just turns off when it gets to the top! The trigger you press to put petrol in just stops working. I dare you to try it.[/quote]
But how? If I fill up a bottle of water, the tap doesn't turn off when the bottle is full. I just don't get how the pump would 'know'. I am nervous just thinking about it😂

Sort of related - I also don't know how long you can leave a hose turned off while it is connected to a running tap. My dp always says it will be fine and I don't need to keep running back to the tap, but how does the hose just not fill up and burst at the other end

Israel / Palestine. Yeah, I could just Google what that's all about, but for some reason I never have, despite vaguely wondering about it for years.

I always take pictures of the sort of thing I want when I go to the hairdresser.

I did have that situation when I started taking DS, though. I cut his hair myself when he was younger, but decided to get him a proper cut when he was starting secondary. "What do you want?"
Um, I dunno, short? Neat? Standard little boy haircut?? I was stumped haha

Make up and general skin care. If I go abroad with my best friend, she'll dump a load of her stuff into my little plastic bag for the airport. I've got plenty of space as mine contains shampoo, conditioner, shower gel and toothpaste. I don't need anything else. Then she'll disappear into the bathroom in the morning and come out 15 minutes later looking exactly the same. What does she do?!

Yes to the hairdresser. 'Keep it long enough to put in a ponytail' is my instruction. Other than that, they can do what they like.

Clueless about coffee and wine. But don't like either so I'm okay with that.

I did teach myself how to Dutch and French braid my hair last month though. I'm closer to 40 than 30. I love having it in those styles and usually wait until I'm with a friend who can do it for me. I've always wanted to know how to do it.

We were recently stuck waiting to use the air to top up tyres behind a guy who tried to use the water hose on his tyres & couldn't fathom what was going wrong.

Can someone explain what the etiquette is with funeral cars please? As a driver, I guess it's just courteous to let them all past, but is there anything pedestrians are supposed to do? (This sounds silly, but the equivalent of standing & taking a hat off etc?). Feel rude not knowing, but I grew up in the middle of nowhere so we never saw them.

Re the hose, while I KNOW that it won't burst, I still worry about turning the spray end off for too long. Just in case.

Celebrities. I cannot recognise celebs even on the odd occasion we've been on the next table to one in a bar or something. I've never heard of most of them anyway!

I don't understand all the things people have done to their eye brows and bikini lines these days either.

I am only 41!

I did have that situation when I started taking DS, though. I cut his hair myself when he was younger, but decided to get him a proper cut when he was starting secondary. "What do you want?"
Um, I dunno, short? Neat? Standard little boy haircut?? I was stumped haha

Yes!!! I didn't have a clue when I first took DS. Make it neat and a standard little boy haircut. Turns out that THAT'S what 'short back and sides means'. About the fourth or fifth time I took the DC, the hairdresser asked me which grade I wanted it done on. I had no bloody idea and said 2. I was wrong. DH accused me of shearing them. I think we have a 3. But I'd still need to check with DH as I can't seem to commit it to memory.

Makeup. And maths as soon as there are letters in there.

But how? If I fill up a bottle of water, the tap doesn't turn off when the bottle is full. I just don't get how the pump would 'know'. I am nervous just thinking about it😂

It has a sensor. It'll click and stop working. You can override the click a little bit (say to get you to a nearby even number), but you have to be persistent to do it.

@Letmeusethisname it senses the change in suction and automatically shuts off. Try it, you'll hear it click and feel it stop when it's full. If you try and put more in it will let you do a tiny bit and click again