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Things that you are supposed to know about but don't.

171 replies

DoItForTheDucks · 21/08/2020 19:33

Does anyone else feel completely lost when their hairdresser asks them what they want done with their hair? I've no idea beyond Please cut it, preferably with scissors and not garden shears and stop cutting before the point where I start to resemble a rather more elephantine Bruce Willis. They throw all these hairdressing jargon at me and I've no idea what any of it means. I look them up occasionally then immediately forget.

Likewise interior design. I have no idea what looks good with what and which colours complement each other. It is a complete mystery to me. I know that colour wheels exist but I'm none the wiser for them. I'd love to have an innate sense of style but it's never going to happen.

Finally. Jeans. There are so many types of them. Boyfriend, girlfriend, Mom, Step Brother, Ex MIL, Postman's wife etc. How do you know the difference?

What everyday things baffle you?

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 22/08/2020 00:31

Oh, yeah, the fast food thing. The odd occasion I've been dragged in there I have to leave it to someone else to do the ordering as I don't know what's what. I don't know my quarter pounders from my big macs. I don't know what all the stupid nicknames are. It's like a secret society. WTF is a McFlurry? How manhy people does a boneless banquet feed? Why not just say what food type it actually is? DH somesimtes take the teens and he goes himself sometimes when he's working away or long hours. But I've only ever taken the kids while I've been with him and he's done the ordering cos he knows what's what. The odd time I've taken them on my own when they were little (and not got anything for myself as I'm not keen), I've just stood with them and told them to tell the assistant what they want because the one time I had a discussion with them first, I didn't get it right telling the assistant and the kids were whispering "no, mum, that's not what I want" and it took forever, while the queue behind were no doubt eye rolling.

My saviour has been the electronic ordering screens that you do yourself!

alexdgr8 · 22/08/2020 00:43

why didn't the nazi's march into and take over switzerland.
would have been easy, and cut off an escape route.
people tell me, ah well you see, there is and was a lot of money in swiss banks. foreign accounts etc.
i don't get it. surely that is exactly why they would have taken it over.
then they'd get all the money too.

Someaddedsugar · 22/08/2020 06:44

Another no clue how to change a tyre. I’ve asked DP what I’m meant to do if I need to change it and he’s not there and he has promised to show me this week!

SnugglySnerd · 22/08/2020 07:40

@CurlyhairedAssassin the post office staff will do it all for you! Just hand them the parcel and say you want to send it second class to Aberdeen or whatever. They will weigh it and ask if it contains anything valuable and you just pay, they do the rest. You can ask to send it "signed for" or "recorded delivery" if you want to know when it arrives. Always ask for proof of sending. You can also pay for postage online but you have to weigh and measure the package yourself and you will still need to drop it off at the PO if it won't fit in the letter box.

orangejuicer · 22/08/2020 07:42

How to clean my house. I'm 38.

Heatherjayne1972 · 22/08/2020 08:22

That hair question is the reason I don’t go to hairdressing salons
I know they aren’t mind readers but I don’t know the right answer
Hd- what are we doing today?
Me- ( wondering why I’m being asked this as I’m in the hairdressers). Um cutting it?
Hd- ok how do you want it
Me - just a trim? ( like this but shorter??- wondering what on earth she was expecting me to say)

Apart from that I often wonder how you get teenagers to listen
That would be a superpower I’d like

drinkingwineoutofamug · 22/08/2020 08:38

@DaughterX

I wanted to start a thread every time I think of one of these! Hopefully a medical professional can answer me -

when you're asked by a doctor/nurse/HCP whether you have any allergies do they mean food/drug allergies, or any? I always feel ridiculous saying 'hayfever' etc and then they write it down but surely it's completely irrelevant whether dogs or dust or pollen make me sneezy?!

HCP here. Tell them everything. No harm and they won't think you're daft. But the main most important is allergies to certain drugs and how they effect you.
Akire · 22/08/2020 08:45

Great thread! To send parcels in lockdown and if going to the post office Fills you with dread I’ve used Hermes (I know heard lots of horror stories about them previous). But you put in details pick a date, print your label and they pick it up from you door! Been really surprised how easy and cheap it’s been. Picking up from home cost me 78p more than dropping it off at local shop point.

Hairdressers always get me I avoid at all costs. Last time they kept taking about this or that thing and was totally confused and didn’t even get my sides cut in the way I wanted I was so flustered.

I don’t understand wine at all, all the different names and places how are you supposed to remember what you like.

Kids socks sizes, why can’t they put ages for the youngest children until they are in proper shoes sizes. I have to look the guide up every single time.

I don’t get handbags at all.

TeetotalKoala · 22/08/2020 08:55

@Graphista

I can play most card games but I’d LOVE to learn to play poker as the psychological aspect fascinates me!

Are you handy with apps and technology. If so, download Zynga Poker. It's free, and they give you play money to play with (I'm a billionaire if you look at my Zynga balance rather than my actual bank balance). You play against real people and you start to pick it up fairly quickly. You can turn on a strength meter if you want, which is a bar that appears on your screen to tell you how strong your hand is.

It's helpful to have the list of hand strengths nearby too.

High card
Pair
Two Pair
Three of a Kind (3 jack's, three 2s etc, but the higher 3 of a kind will always win)
Straight (five consecutive cards, ace is high or low, higher straight wins)
Flush (five cards of the same suit, any order)
Full House (two of one card, three of another, so QQ, 333)
Four of a Kind (eg 7777)
Straight Flush (consecutive cards in the same suit)
Royal Flush (A, K, Q, J, 10 in the same suit)

The idea of Texas Hold 'Em is to make the best possible hand out of five cards.

You are dealt two. You cannot change these, but you can choose to fold (throw them away) or keep them for betting. Once everybody has established what they are doing, three cards are dealt face up on the table. This is the Flop. Betting then resumes as those cards may have improved your hand. Then another card is dealt face up. This is the Turn. Another round of betting. Then the final card is dealt. This is the River. The final round of betting follows and ends with either the players showing their cards (unless someone has bet and everyone else has folded, the person making the bet does not have to show their cards). This is where a lot of the psychological aspect lies and how you can bluff. Can you bet big enough to scare everyone away from the pot? Are you willing to call their bluff and potentially lose your chips. You can fold at any point in the game. There is no obligation to keep playing a hand.

Once you are feeling a little more confident, look up Redtooth Poker. It's a country wide league. Pubs and social clubs tend to host them. If you put your town or postcode into the website, it'll bring up your local ones.

It's tournament based, so free to enter, though some pubs have a £5 ish buy in. That money goes into a pot for the winner on the night. You play for tournament points and if you finish top three in your pub after 12 weeks (one season) then you go to Regionals, which brings together the top three from pubs in your region (usually about 150 people). The top 7-10 from Regionals (it changes) go on to Nationals (about 500 people). I've played at Regionals a few times and Nationals once.

I absolutely love it, and I miss my Sunday poker nights. I'll be so pleased when they reinstate them.

When you play in a pub, you tend to find that it's the same core faces, with new people popping up here and there. The more you play with someone, the more you learn about their style of play. For example, you always play from left to right. So there's one guy I hate sitting to the left of as he's an aggressive player, making huge bets early on to push people out of the game. If I sit to his left, I have already made my bet when he goes, so it costs me chips when he starts raising it. However, if I'm on his right, I can fold without having to pay a penny if he pushes if I have a weaker hand than I'm not prepared to bet big with.

In a casino, such as regionals, the staff will tell you where to sit, so that no-one has an advantage. Some pubs do the same, others don't. Mine doesn't. It's more of a sit down wherever vibe, so now I place myself to his right.

Oldbagface · 22/08/2020 09:01

Oh make up for me. I'm useless at it so don't bother with it.

jackstini · 22/08/2020 09:10

@QueenCT
I want to know about matched betting! Have the money to do it but not the time or knowledge
Can you pay someone to do it for you?!

I am ok with knowing hair stuff though and tax/mortgages/budgets

52andblue · 22/08/2020 09:16

Loads :(

Finances, Car maintenance, DIY, Maths, Physics.
But none of these interest me very much.
I am 'better' at the things that do: Psychology, Religion, People...
But I would like to be better at Tech. I am very poor. It frustrates me.

QueenCT · 22/08/2020 09:24

@jackstini you could but they will take a cut usually! The knowledge bit is easy to sort but you do need a little time

FromTheAllotment · 22/08/2020 09:47

Spas. I’ve only been to one once, on a friends hen weekend, and it was at centre parcs so I don’t know if that’s the same as everywhere else? I’ve never had a wax or anything like that. How do you know what to do? Is it like in films and you just sit around drinking?

Beaches, if there aren’t about 500 adults per child. All my friends have been taking their children to the beach (we’re about an hour away) regularly this summer. How do you carry enough stuff for a 4 and 6 year old by yourself? What do you do with your cash and car keys while you’re supervising them in the water? What if you get settled and then one of them needs a wee? How does my friend manage to take selfies without getting her phone wet? If someone could post their easy one-adult-two-children beach tips that would be AMAZING Grin

FromTheAllotment · 22/08/2020 09:50

I am looking for expertise that people need that I have but there isn’t much 🤣 my skills are useless!!

Mashingthecompost · 22/08/2020 10:05

Car stuff, world news issues, esp historical, political. My husband understands more and I feel like catching up would take forever. Where to start?

I darn socks! Darning and mending is experiencing a resurgence (though it depends on how your instagram feed is funneled, tbf!)

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 22/08/2020 10:09

The only way I know how to manage the beach thing is by always going with DH. I sit with the stuff and he goes into the water with the kids. Suits us both fine.

I do understand mortgages (the basic principles of) and regularly explain them to others, but can only do so by using diagrams.

I have so much stuff from amazon that I ordered that wasn’t suitable, but I don’t know to do returns.

drinkingwineoutofamug · 22/08/2020 10:46

PowerPoint. What the fresh hell!

SnugglySnerd · 22/08/2020 12:06

@FromTheAllotment

Spas. I’ve only been to one once, on a friends hen weekend, and it was at centre parcs so I don’t know if that’s the same as everywhere else? I’ve never had a wax or anything like that. How do you know what to do? Is it like in films and you just sit around drinking?

Beaches, if there aren’t about 500 adults per child. All my friends have been taking their children to the beach (we’re about an hour away) regularly this summer. How do you carry enough stuff for a 4 and 6 year old by yourself? What do you do with your cash and car keys while you’re supervising them in the water? What if you get settled and then one of them needs a wee? How does my friend manage to take selfies without getting her phone wet? If someone could post their easy one-adult-two-children beach tips that would be AMAZING Grin

I bought a shopping trolley in the charity shop to put all our beach stuff in which has made it far easier. Suncream is easier to apply on children before they are dressed then put their swimming costumes on to go to the beach with a change of clothes for when they decide they are cold. Those hooded towels are brilliant when they come out of the sea. I just leave car keys etc in the bottom of the trolley while we're in the sea and keep an eye on them. Alternatively I saw several people on the beach this year with bum bags. Take a thermal mug of coffee or a flask if you are going to want a drink and take plenty of snacks. As for needing a wee I'm afraid a sea-wee is the only way if you don't want to traipse all the dcs to the toilets and move all your stuff. Going with friend or family member makes it a lot easier.
Whatisthisfuckery · 22/08/2020 12:13

I’m quite good on DIY, gardening, practical stuff in general.

I don’t know anything about hair, makeup/beauty stuff, cuts of jeans, posh coffee etc. I have an undercut at the barbers, don’t wear makeup and never had and my beauty regime consists of having a shower and washing my hair then running a comb through it, my jeans are 501s and I drink black coffee, just black coffee, ground from the beans, I can do diffferent types of coffee beans.

I am a woman of simple tastes and it suits me just fine.

TeetotalKoala · 22/08/2020 12:17

^ Yes to all of this. I don't tend to take a trolley because wheels + sand gives me the rage. But I do separate things into different large shopping bags. Buckets and spades in one, towels and clean clothes in another, picnic in a backpack. I'll usually just get the DC to carry their own buckets and spades so that I only have the towel bag and the backpack but I will put them in a bag in the car to stop sand getting everywhere and to make sure I have everything. Yes to going ready for the beach and changing only once. And hooded towels. Or onesies. If you are going straight home, then just pop a onesie on as soon as they're ready to be dry and clean. It acts as both a towel and an outfit.

Agree with the sea wee. And I bought a running belt this year so I can take my phone on runs, and it's been excellent for keeping my phone/keys secure during adventures with the DC, such as climbing trees. It's essentially a bumbag but much slimmer, so my top goes over the top comfortably.

And definitely yes to the thermal mug. I never go to the beach/park/skate park without it.

FromTheAllotment · 22/08/2020 12:55

Bumbag is a brilliant idea!! I’ve just googled and seen you can get waterproof ones! That is a BRILLIANT game changer, even if both DH and I are taking the DC, that still means we can go in the sea together and just leave the non-valuables left on the beach.

I need to get DC carrying their own stuff as well. I haven’t adjusted to not having tinies any more, they could help a lot more.

This is so good, I’m off to buy a bum bag. Thank you MN Grin

Champagneforeveryone · 22/08/2020 14:47

Make up for me, never got on with it as a teen as had very bad skin. Then it sort of passed me by so I've embraced the wizened old woman look with open arms.

Hair, I pay my wonderful hairdresser an obscene amount of money every few weeks to make my hair look good. I occasionally brandish a photo and he makes a generally good stab at making my hair look at least passingly similar. I'm being talked into having highlights but frankly find the idea of sitting for however long (particularly with a mask on) while a different man tits about with my hair a distinctively unappealing prospect.

Jeans, I always buy a particular cut of Levi jeans that I know will fit perfectly and last for years. Every time I need a new pair I idly consider going to Next or somewhere and getting them cheaper, then I remember the horror of trying to get a pair to fit and just shell out again.

JadesRollerDisco · 22/08/2020 15:06

I have a good memory and read a lot (a lot of non fiction as well as fiction, I am a Google addict, too). I tend to be able to relate that into what needs to be done practically, and retain that information (if I've read it and done it, I know how to do it and can explain it to somebody else). When I set my mind to something there is nothing I have ever come across that I could not accomplish with enough time and effort. I'm also good on the phone, at exams and at maths.

But I can't multitask. Like at all. It's honestly embarrassing. And I find every day life overwhelming and confusing. My interpersonal relationships are a mess. My emotions are all over the place. I have terrible anxiety and spend a lot of my life avoiding the things I'm meant to do. Every day things can totally stump me. I never reach anywhere like my 'potential' at anything and find it hard just to 'adult' most days.

NoisyBrain · 22/08/2020 15:14

Ironing. I am utterly, utterly useless at it. No matter how flat the material is pulled I always seem to create new creases in it with the iron. Can't go round buttons properly, sleeves are bewildering and collars can just piss off.

I've always blamed it on being left-handed...

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