Things that you are supposed to know about but don't.

[DoItForTheDucks]

Does anyone else feel completely lost when their hairdresser asks them what they want done with their hair? I've no idea beyond Please cut it, preferably with scissors and not garden shears and stop cutting before the point where I start to resemble a rather more elephantine Bruce Willis. They throw all these hairdressing jargon at me and I've no idea what any of it means. I look them up occasionally then immediately forget.

Likewise interior design. I have no idea what looks good with what and which colours complement each other. It is a complete mystery to me. I know that colour wheels exist but I'm none the wiser for them. I'd love to have an innate sense of style but it's never going to happen.

Finally. Jeans. There are so many types of them. Boyfriend, girlfriend, Mom, Step Brother, Ex MIL, Postman's wife etc. How do you know the difference?

What everyday things baffle you?

Cricket! What the fuck is going on there then? Playing a game for five days straight then calling it a draw because it’s raining?

I cannot keep any plant alive. I have read articles and watched YouTube but I end up with dead plants anyway. Every single succulent I’ve bought has died. I just left a cactus on my friend’s porch ( amazing green thumbed woman) with a note that said “Help! My mummy is trying to kill me”

Coffee, make up, celebrities, gardening, sport

It’s quite concerning when you list it like that. I seem to live in my own world quite a lot.

I’m basically illiterate when it comes to art. I know that the colours and symbols all have secret meanings relating to the historical context, like “ooh that purple unicorn in the corner means that the subject of the painting was having a secret affair with her brother in law, the Duke of Ding Dong”, but I don’t know any of them. So I don’t get much from seeing art, beyond “that’s pretty” or “that’s very life-like”, whereas if I was reading a book or a poem there’d at least be a narrative (usually).

The offside rule in sport and anything related to golf. Birdies eagles pigeons, nah not a clue.

Pensions. I have no bloody idea - never even checked mine. This is something that brings me.great shame!

Putting up shelves etc - I reckon I could do, I'd just need a good youtube video!

Birds and trees beyond pigeon and oak tree - 'oh look, a red crested madrigal, how unusual for this time of year' er,, ok...

I just ask them to cut my hair so it sits just above shoulder length, and ask for whatever layers they deem necessary so my ears don't poke out!

At beach I put things like my phone in with my manky shorts and discarded banana skins when we all go swim. You'd be right weird to ferret thru my stuff hoping to find a £5 note and a locked not trendy phone.

I'm 52 & still don't know how I like my hair to be cut. Not sure if I like a fringe or not, how long...

It usually says your tyre pressure on the inside of the car door, I was so happy to find this out!

If you're wearing non-matching clothes, like colourblocking, how do you know what goes together?
I mean, I love a good pattern mix or clashing colours but if none of the colours have any relation to each other how do you choose?

@Graphista
Thanks for the tip for MOT centres, will defo look into them. Didn't know they were a thing, especially where I am!

Which tradesperson is required for which repair.

Cars. They all look the same except sometimes they are different colours.

How to enjoy food without piling on the pounds.

....'Now I have to connect my Spotify via Bluetooth....apparently. what happened to CD players in cars???'

You lost me on 'Spotify'. You're technologically decades ahead from me to even know what Spotify even means!

Bluetooth???

How to get teenagers to listen to you:

1. Pick the right moment i.e. not when they are hungry, half-asleep, upset or stressed. Even better if you are none of these things either.

1. Ask them for their thoughts on the matter first, then validate their more sensible ideas before adding your own suggestions.

Celebrities most I’ve no idea who they are.

@alexdgr8

why didn't the nazi's march into and take over switzerland. would have been easy, and cut off an escape route. people tell me, ah well you see, there is and was a lot of money in swiss banks. foreign accounts etc. i don't get it. surely that is exactly why they would have taken it over. then they'd get all the money too.

That’s a good point. Switzerland was neutral in the war but presumably dictators ignore such niceties if there’s something in it for them.

I'm in my 50s and still have no idea how to fold a fitted sheet

All of that colours stuff 'cool summer/ warm spring/ tepid winter blah blah'. I've never had a proper consultation admittedly but the online tools all seem to start with 'what colours suit you best?'

I DON'T FRICKING KNOW THAT'S WHY I'M USING THIS TOOL. I WANT YOU TO TELL ME!

How to make curtains
What to use to make a bed I.e. Pillow protector? Wtaf is the pillow case for then?

This has got me thinking. I'm with a lot of posters on here!

I've always thought I'm fairly emotionally intelligent (I still think I am...). But...

I've lately started to realise I literally don't have a clue how to respond to certain subtle cues- e.g. 'polite' suggestions that people don't actually mean (...or do they?!)

Does anyone know what I'm on about? Vague.com

Make up.
Betting.
A lot of stuff to do with politics.

@CloudPop

I'm in my 50s and still have no idea how to fold a fitted sheet

They're not meant to be folded!! They are meant to be scrunched up and shoved away. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

PowerPoint. What the fresh hell!

^^°°

I'll raise you Excel

@managedmis

PowerPoint. What the fresh hell!

^^°°

I'll raise you Excel

YES! I sort of learnt how to navigate PowerPoint earlier this year due to a uni assignment (with significant help from DH). But Excel can fuck off.

I fucking love excel. I am so happy when I have a situation where excel can help. I use it in many life and work situations.

I do realise that this is not a view shared by all.