Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

ADs deflower male cucumbers for the Greater Good. All phallic aubergines welcome .

983 replies

BogRollBOGOF · 14/08/2020 00:27

Because bitter male cucumbers don't bring joy, but phallic aubergines can raise an irreverent smile.

AD chat continues about life, the universe and everything. We know the answer is 42 but what is the question?
6x7?
How many roads must a man walk down?
How many unsadly reincarnations have PHE put into the database?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
28
PickAChew · 15/08/2020 20:57

I used so much of the stuff when I went into Newcastle on Thursday that my hands were sort of glazed, when I got back home.

thenightsky · 15/08/2020 20:58

I went into work last week (NHS) to do some stuff (normally WFH). The new hand gel is so bloody strong I asked for tonic, ice and lemon to go with it!

wanderings · 15/08/2020 21:09

When we hear the stories of what is happening in Australia, does anyone feel almost relieved that we don't have that level of enforcement in the UK; indeed, some might say it's so lax that Boris doesn't even appear to care about it, relying on the goodwill of the public (or setting things up to blame the public if it goes wrong)?

On the dementor threads, they're all screaming that Her Majesty's Clowns should be rigorously enforcing masks and quarantine, deploying the army, triple-checking every mask exemption. It may be that the main reason the government are not doing this is Theresa May's legacy of cutting the police to the bone, so the government could barely enforce it even if they wanted to. For all the many things the government is doing wrong, I'm quite glad they're not (so far) wasting our money on an expensive system of verified mask exemptions and enforcement. I expect they'll have occasional high-profile "crackdowns" on quarantine, perhaps just before the schools resume (to keep down the numbers of children), or at the bank holiday weekend.

We do of course need to watch this space, in case Boris is lulling us into a false sense of security, and it's the next rabbit the chief clown pulls out of his hat: billions spent on police state, not for your benefit.

TheOrchidKiller · 15/08/2020 21:16

My watery work hand gel leaked into my bag recently. Strong & embarrassing stench of vinegar. Had to tip it out. They put it in bottles with ill-fitting lids.

Would it be wrong to take adults & 2 older teens to a maize maze tomorrow? Stuck for ideas & we need a laugh. I'd usually leave the teens at home but I honestly think they need to do something outdoorsy & a bit daft.

justasking111 · 15/08/2020 21:19

Did hear that because track and trace telephone system was not working they were looking at using your council staff to knock on your door to make sure you are locked in, know you have been exposed. Now our council staff some of them are dodgy and would not be welcomed knocking on our door. Do not really want the council knowing more about me than they already do.

Original poster
BogRollBOGOF · 15/08/2020 21:46

@TheOrchidKiller

My watery work hand gel leaked into my bag recently. Strong & embarrassing stench of vinegar. Had to tip it out. They put it in bottles with ill-fitting lids.

Would it be wrong to take adults & 2 older teens to a maize maze tomorrow? Stuck for ideas & we need a laugh. I'd usually leave the teens at home but I honestly think they need to do something outdoorsy & a bit daft.

Maize Maze sounds like good fun!
OP posts:
Mrsfrumble · 15/08/2020 21:53

We caught the Overground home from the Olympic Park today and there were police officers on the train, telling passengers to pull their masks up as most had them under their chins. The general response from what I could see was to comply, wait until the POs had passed, then pull the mask back down again (not us though, polishes halo). Dementors would have exploded.

cocopops · 15/08/2020 21:54

The one in Zara is like paint stripper. But I’ve worked out if you just pretend to push down on the pump, you can get away without using it....

SodomyNonSapiens · 15/08/2020 22:12

@Mrsfrumble

We caught the Overground home from the Olympic Park today and there were police officers on the train, telling passengers to pull their masks up as most had them under their chins. The general response from what I could see was to comply, wait until the POs had passed, then pull the mask back down again (not us though, polishes halo). Dementors would have exploded.
And I bet the coppers didn't give a toss.

They did as they had to, because they had to be seen to do so.

Willow2017 · 15/08/2020 22:49

@countrygirl99

In case I get banned for my posting on Climbdad's latest thread 😁 it's been nice knowing you. Sorry, i just couldn't .resist
Which one?
Dowser · 15/08/2020 22:50

Pleased to see York mask wearing today was still only about ten per cent outside.
Only got in three shops and most people complied.
It was mental on the streets mind. So busy. Social distancing out the window.
All restaurants and puns looked pretty full to me and Bella italia appears to be opening back up.

I thought they were in big trouble but no the guy said opening on Monday.

SodomyNonSapiens · 15/08/2020 22:53

@Dowser

Pleased to see York mask wearing today was still only about ten per cent outside. Only got in three shops and most people complied. It was mental on the streets mind. So busy. Social distancing out the window. All restaurants and puns looked pretty full to me and Bella italia appears to be opening back up.

I thought they were in big trouble but no the guy said opening on Monday.

I had an email saying the 2 Bella Italia were opening in Sheffield.

And begging me to book a table.

Ibake · 15/08/2020 23:04

@Pleasenomoreglitter am so childish, and also more than a little pissed, that all I can think is 'Omg, that cucumber has got a bellend'

SodomyNonSapiens · 15/08/2020 23:14

[quote Ibake]@Pleasenomoreglitter am so childish, and also more than a little pissed, that all I can think is 'Omg, that cucumber has got a bellend'[/quote]
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Original poster
BogRollBOGOF · 15/08/2020 23:24

I love all these organic (and phallic) tangents Grin

OP posts:
justasking111 · 15/08/2020 23:46

OMG had resigned myself to not visiting Cheshire Oaks for my birthday this year, Cafe Rouge being shut, just seen it is re-opening, so I shall go shopping next month Grin

HeIenaDove · 16/08/2020 01:01

I dont know how the hell im going to wear a mask this coming week
Earache is excrutiating. I can bearly move the right side of my face. Im taking ibuprofen and using a hot water bottle.

PourMeADrink · 16/08/2020 07:41

Checking in under new name.

DH and I were discussing holidays for next year. Not sure what to do. Usually we book many months in advance but make sure we can easily cancel. Reluctant at the moment as god knows which companies will still be trading next year. Thinking long haul is out but perhaps Europe. Obviously we have brexit so presume we will have new visa stuff to do. Was looking at a thread that pointed to battleforce travel insurance which looks good as a top up as mine excludes lots of pandemic stuff now.

MaxNormal · 16/08/2020 08:15

I won't use any of the hand sanitisers. Our only vehicle currently is a campervan with a sink so my hands are always clean anyway, but i get bad headaches from strong scents. So far not been challenged for not partaking.

MaxNormal · 16/08/2020 08:16

PourMeADrink no visa stuff, we'll still have 90 days out of 180 visa free in the Schengen area so holidays won't be affected.

PourMeADrink · 16/08/2020 08:23

Ah that's good to know.

profpoopsnagle · 16/08/2020 08:44

I don't like using communal hand sanitizers, everyone has touched them! If you're going to pick up Covid from a surface, I suspect there's a much higher chance from one of these. I was also told on a first aid course, that hand gel only works for about the first 3 applications, then you need to wash it off with soap. Overuse causes a film to coat your hands and germs then stick more, than are destroyed.

Am camping at the moment and was most amused to see the wardens running around and using a sanitising spray on the electrical hook up for incoming campers.

Welcometothelifeboatparty · 16/08/2020 08:44

There's a really annoying story on bbc news now about how people are happy with working from home and local lockdowns, and how parents think home schooling would be fine long term. Conducted by IPSOS MORI for kings college London. I'd like to know how they worded those questions Angry

SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 16/08/2020 08:50

Morning murderers. It's raining here today so vague plans of going cycling this afternoon are off. No idea what else to do, other than eat myself even fatter than I already am. Can't wait for our local soft play to reopen at the end of the month, just hope they've not had to put the prices up loads to make up for lost revenue.

Need to motivate myself to make a healthy breakfast instead of eating another massive bowl of frosties.

If I didn't have DDs and DH today would be a keep the blinds closed, drink tea and read Agatha Christie novels day. But that involves peace and quiet which is a distant memory at this point! DH made some noise a couple of days ago about taking the kids out for a half day so I could have the house to myself for a while but no plans as yet. I probably need to nag him about it, which kind of takes the shine off the offer.

LivinLaVidaLoki · 16/08/2020 09:12

Hi All! Arrived back from Greece yesterday. It was HEAVEN. I always struggle to want to come home but moreso this time.
Masks in supermarkets and on public transport, people working in bars and restaurants wear clear masks and when indoors try and stay 1 to 1.5 m away and that was it.
Everything open, sat outdoors in some of the most beautiful bars and tavernas. Hugged my family.....I have never felt so relaxed and I'm so so happy for the first time in a loooong time.
There was a small spike when we were there mostly from a wedding party in Thessaloniki (as my aunt said "stop worrying about the tourists its mostly greeks infecting greeks").
There are extra restrictions for some travellers such as the negative covid test, and bars and restaurants etc have to close at midnight. However these restrictions will be reviewed in 2 weeks.
And whoever has a rosy view on here lf other European countries behaving better than us with masks and social distancing particularly on holiday can fuck right off. The German and Dutch tourists were awful for refusing to stay a distance away and wear masks.
My cousin who works at a large AI said they made her and a lot of the other guests really uncomfortable with their almost petulant refusal to abide by the very (lets face it) loose rules.

Also there was a freak storm while we were there and DS (who has become obsessed with greek mythology) made a throwaway comment about someone angering Zeus (the storm was not forecast). To which my aunt replied "you are a very clever boy, zeus will be so mad, we have so many blessings in life and yet we still complain, we still live in fear and expect others to fix everything"