Harmonising whilst singing happy birthday

[NCParanoia]

Caveat: I know there's bigger and worse things going on in the world that I should be annoyed at, but here we are.

Does this make anyone else totally cringe? I have a family member who always harmonises when we sing happy birthday, especially the last bit. I find it so cringey.. its a bit me me me when the point of singing happy birthday is for the birthday person to be in the limelight. Also isn't it something awful we all sing just because we have to, not because we want to?

Am I alone in this? Do you harmonise when singing happy birthday? If so - why?!

(I promise I'm also a happy, fun person who likes to have a good time. I appreciate i sound like a massive birthday grinch)

We don’t harmonise But we do sing a second verse to happy birthday. It goes

“Why was she born so beautiful
why was she born at all?
She’s no bloody use to anyone
She’s no bloody use at all!”

It’s sung in the same light hearted way as HB and I have no idea where it came from. 🧐

I think it's so annoying because spontaneous harmonising relies on the assumption that at least one other person, if not the majority, will be singing the main tune, so you can be different and harmonise against them and show yourself as different - which may appear as superior - from the bog standard normal people singing the bog standard normal melody.

If everyone harmonised it would sound terrible. I think it's the implicit assumption that others won't think to harmonise, unlike clever, musical you, that is so grating. If it's pre-planned or rehearsed or a tradition then it's sweet, imo!

If everyone harmonised it would sound terrible. I think it's the implicit assumption that others won't think to harmonise, unlike clever, musical you, that is so grating.
You're right. There's a lot of clever musical me about it and a belief that everyone must be admiring them.

In my experience the people who are talented musicians don't tend to be the ones feeling the need to prove they're just that bit better by adding in unwanted extra notes.

I sometimes wonder if these oh so talented (🙄🤔) random harmonisers are also the people who 'can't help' the fact they sing loudly at any opportunity, 'can't help' their horrendously excessive vibrato and think that anyone rolling their eyes at their attention seeking must be jealous of their amazing talent.

Meanwhile talented musicians know that you adapt your playing/voice for the context and have nothing to prove.

I do relate to those saying they can't help it - for me, once I've heard a complementing melody over the main one, I can't "unhear" it or forget I've heard it and often need to sing it to "scratch the itch", so to speak - not just classic harmonies but things like song mashups that were all the rage in the early 2000s. If i had a decent singing voice I'd probably be an enthusiastic harmoniser... just not to Happy Birthday!

I’m Welsh. I was brought up with the whole chapel, choir, rugby singing thing, in both languages. I still sing in a choir, and at matches, and with the radio. It’s a completely natural and sub-conscious thing to me. BUT... if I find myself as the only harmoniser in a group of people singing, it’s incredibly embarrassing! I have to revert to the tune, usually halfway through a note that starts as a harmony, and rapidly becomes a squawk 😂

Nothotpot wow you really take someone's figure of speech to heart. It amazes me what some people actually pick out of a post to comment on🙄 Also to the poster who posted about only white middle class knowing what alto etc was your assumptions are so wrong. White, yes, but working class from large council estate who went to local "state" school but does know what an alto is and how to harmonise because we had a fantastic music teacher, assemblies every am where we sang our hearts out and numerous choirs where even those that could not sing in tune could join in. Why is there always someone that makes it political, ageist, classist, racist when it's not. 😕

Evahoffman - so you harmonise your singing to people on their birthdays as a gift as you are unable to gift anything else but your dc have told you not too but you do it anyway? Who are you doing it for then? Not them..... that’s where your argument falls down..

Snarkastic
Genuine question though, can you not decide not to harmonise though?

I've sang alto in choirs since my teens so have always had the harmony parts: some are beautiful, others are dull. I'm used to hearing and singing harmony but have never found myself adding in additional lines in casual contexts.

Lola I can't think of a time when I sing in public, so can't really say - at home I belt out whatever I feel like! I guess toddler group songs and Happy Birthday, perhaps a carol service - no harmonising although maybe would be doing it 'mentally' in the carol service! I kind of want to be singing both lines, if that doesn't sound too weird.

Snarkastic
At home, like you, I sing everything and seem to think I do a great one person duet

The fact you wouldn't do it at a toddler group, or happy birthday means you're probably not the person the OP is on about then.

Could you imagine the awkwardness of being at a children's party and turning happy birthday into a 'look at my clever musical self' moment.