What are your thoughts on all girls schools?

[Cupidity]

DD is going into year 6 and we're going to have to apply for secondary schools very soon. Due to covid we haven't been able to look around any schools and so we're struggling to imagine what they are like.

One of the best secondary schools locally (if she passed the 11+) is an all girl's grammar school.

DD seems keenest on this one as it's the one her closet friends are hoping to go to. However, I'm not sure what an all girl's school will be like. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

We chose co-ed for dd, and I'm very glad of it. I know that the stats suggest that girls do better in single sex environments, but dd is excelling where she is, while also learning to hold her own in a mixed sex cohort. There is no shortage of girls excelling in science at her school, and dd will be pursuing a STEM career.

There is a marked difference between dd's attitude towards boys and the attitude that she sees in her primary school friends who went on to the single sex school. She has lots of friends who are boys and just sees them as people. Some of the kids at the girls' school don't seem to have male friends, and primarily regard boys as potential boyfriend material.

DD has occasionally encountered casual sexism in school, but she challenges it where she finds it, and hopefully they all learn from that.

I am sure that single sex schools do suit some kids, depending on personalities etc, but my preference would generally be for co-ed if the choice is available.

Both myself and my DD went to one. We both loved them and were sad to leave, I’d do it again without a doubt.

This is a Zombie thread.

I went to an all girls school and hated it.

I went to a girls’ comp and loved it. No ‘boys’ subjects and ‘girls’ subjects - more girls did A level physics at my school than at all the other schools in the city combined. Even though it was a comprehensive, working hard or high achievement wasn’t sneered at the way I saw it was at some of my friends’ schools, so there wasn’t that dumbing down. Still plenty of bitchiness but it didn’t tend to be about boys or boyfriends and it didn’t appear to be worse than at mixed school. I still have good friendships with women I went to school with and that’s not unusual for the school.

If my DD wanted to go there I’d be thrilled. I had mixed friendship groups outside of school through sports and music though and I think that’s important to maintain so there is still interaction with male peers.

I went to one and send my DD to one, I think single sex schools are great you just get on with it without distractions.

My girls go to an all girls local state school here in Ireland. They are thriving there and I have no doubt that it is the best school for them now. Of course, we keep a constant eye on things to make sure it continues to be so.

A big deciding factor was the fact it is FREE and local to us, they can walk there and walk home, 20 minutes each way. Any other school would have involved a bus journey and a consequent loss of study time and the nearest mixed school would not have matched their academic interests or abilities at all.

They are doing well academically and are receiving excellent teaching across Maths, Science, Business, Language & Arts. They should be empowered to achieve practically any University or other course they may dream of pursuing. The school would always be in the top 2/3% of schools nationally for academic performance/university places, ranking easily amongst schools with charging high fees or special academic advantage.

Discipline is tight, school environment appears to be very nurturing with good pastoral care, the students participate in social innovation and entrepreneurial projects, there is almost no absenteeism and DDs have never complained of bullying, the chatter when they come home from school seems to reflect how supportive students are of each other. DDs are not sporty but the school does have some excellent teams for specific sports and good PE teaching for all.

They can go to the toilet in complete and utter safety.

They do participate in some mixed activities outside of school and they have some boy cousins. However, I do realise that they may be at a slight social disadvantage when it comes to third-level education and handling male attention. And Covid isn't helping at the moment as summer camps probably won't happen this year.

I went to an all girls comprehensive and a had a fantastic experience. Diverse friendship groups, no cliques, no pressure to conform to a certain type. Best years of my life.

I went to an all girls schools from the ages of 8-18. I loved it at the time. Didn't experience any bullying, ended up doing a hard science at Uni. However, I was an only child too, so didn't get ANY exprience of boys and this made me "boy mad" at Uni and didn't do so well in my degree with all the distractions...
My DD had this choice, she's in year 6 now, a very highly sought after all girls grammar further away and a good co-ed grammar nearby. we opted for the co-ed grammar, even though she qualified for both. Her brother goes to the co-ed grammar too. Perhaps DD would have been alright and not turned like me as she has her brother for an experience of boys, and I think she'd have done well at an all girls grammar, but she wanted to go to school with her brother and walk to school rather than a long commute.
The distances involved made it a harder choice, but I don't know what would have happened if the all girls school was nearer. I didn't think the commuting was worth it for any perceived betterness of the all girls school (they take the best performing girls from the consortium so ofcourse they will get better results).

I went to an all girls school.
No way will my dd will not being going to an all girls school.

I went to a coed comprehensive high school. My daughter goes to a girls grammar. All of the worst bullying at my school was by boys. They were absolutely relentless, especially towards girls like me who dared to be cleverer than them.

My daughter’s experience couldn’t be more different. She is just absolutely supported and encouraged in everything. She tries new things without fear of failure or ridicule.

I was a bit ambivalent about girls schools until DD started at hers. Now I’m a massive advocate.

I went to a mixed school. Many girls were obsessed by boys, lots of girls had steady relationships in year 10, 11, 12 and 13 and didnt focus on studies. Boys were a constant distraction in class and most of the disruptive behaviour was boys. Boys also source of a lot of bullying - other boys were bullied, but also girls who were picked on in childish and cruel ways ("where are your tits? Are you anorexic? Have you got socks stuffed inside your bra?" And so on). Girls being rated out of 10, or ranked by attractiveness in the classroom.

It's even worse now. Even in nice schools. Eg boys trying to collect photos of all the girls in the class in their underwear or naked (often persuading/daring other girls to take the photos in the locker rooms after PE). Boys harassing girls sexually, talking openly about group porn they have seen, asking girls what porn they like watching, sharing inappropriate photos in WhatsApp groups and then sniggering about them. Toxic masculinity rammed down your throat by horny, uncontrolled, hormonal lads is not pleasant.

My DD will go to an all girls'. I would have preferred mixed, but there is just such a dreadful culture these days, and so many boys watch porn from a very young age, I want to avoid my DD feeling intimidated in her classroom by this horrible stuff as much as I can. Bitchy female cliques at a girls' school, I hope we can cope with.

My DD is at an all girls (private) - she was previously at a state coed primary and was being bullied so we started looking elsewhere. I'd never really been keen in single sex but it was one of the places with a space and so we thought we'd go for a look, meanwhile I read reviews, ethos etc. The whole vibe was different and DD was keen straight away and still loves it. She's flourished and her confidence has grown so much.

It will vary hugely by school though. Some will be very old fashioned, some useless at dealing with bullying...

Admittedly the experiences some posters have discussed with bitchiness, cliqueness, eating disorders and so on sound exactly like my state coed! The friendship groups were mostly single sex and the presence of the boys just seemed to amp up that bitchy dynamic rather than reducing it.

Went to an all girls school- I loooooved it!!!

DDs attend an all girls' grammar school. Positives are superb exam results. Very high proportion of girls go on to study STEM subjects at university. Girls' self confidence constantly boosted to totally believe they are easily the academic equals of boys (the girls' grammar has thrashed the boys' grammar in GCSE results for the last 17 years).

Negatives are rampant bitchiness, it is really viscous at times. Though unsure if it would be the same at a mixed comprehensive, as I was privately educated, so have no experience of state education to compare it with? Girls are basically turned into exam passing machines. Huge emphasis is placed on exam results rather than fostering a love of learning e.g. DD is taking A Level English Literature and predicted an A/A*. However she isn't remotely interested in pursuing any (unnecessary) wider reading etc, because if it isn't going to be included on the exam paper she doesn't want to waste time learning about it. She can dissect an exam paper with an almost forensic accuracy. It's more of a mathematical formula to be followed, than an organic process. Fabulous exam technique, but no passion for the subject which is sad.

viscious not viscous. Bloody auto correct.

I went to an all girls school

Never would I send my ds to a single sex school

It’s an odd concept we don’t live separate lives

I went to an independent girls school and was very happy there. As others have said, it allowed me to focus on academics. Every student in the advanced classes was a girl, every student running a club, president of a class, chosen by a teacher for anything was a girl. Virtually nobody wore makeup or talked about boys as the main topic of conversation. The competition was about academics and extra curriculars, not boys and appearance.
The only downside for me was that I wasn't really exposed to boys until I went to university. I had a part time job and a brother, but it wasn't really the same. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 19. I was quite awkward socially and had catching up to do. Although that could have been a lot to do with me and not the single sex education necessarily.

I think some people send their DC to single sex schools in the hope it will keep them away from the opposite sex but it doesn’t work.

My cousins attended an all girls school and they regularly met up with the boys from the all boys school, all of them did. So if that’s a reason to send your child to a single sex school, think again!

I honestly think that single or mixed sex makes little difference for most kids, it’s just cliches being trotted out.

Some people have bad experiences at single sex schools, and because it’s relatively unusual (like boarding) they attach too much importance - ‘I was bullied because I was at a girls’ school’ not ‘I was bullied.’

Pick whatever school you like the feel and ethos of and that your daughter is happy with.

I’m a huge fan of girls’ schools.

There a lot of myths surrounding girls’ school - bitchiness, cliques, eating disorders. These are issues in every school, if you think this doesn’t happen in mixed schools you are being naive.

When I hear about what goes on in mixed schools I am very glad my dds are at a girls’ school. Thankfully they don’t have to deal with unwanted sexual attention or boys discussing porn. When my middle dd wore a white shirt in years 7-11 she could wear any colour bra underneath without worry. She and her peers had great relationships with their teachers and anything and everything could be discussed.

They could relax and be themselves and perhaps grow up a little more slowly not being under the gaze of boys.

And they can push and challenge themselves in lessons without being dominated or talked over by boys.

@bendmeoverbackwards

And they can push and challenge themselves in lessons without being dominated or talked over by boys.

I get what you're saying, but if boys try to dominate or talk over my dd, she just tells them to pipe down. She is not afraid to challenge sexism when she sees it. My feeling is that it's better for them in the long run to learn how to hold their own and call out bad behaviour when they see it.

That’s good for your dd @paralysedbyinertia but not all girls from age 11 would have the confidence to challenge them. Yes they do need to learn to deal with this stuff but all in good time. It’s important that girls do mix with boys socially, my dd has male friends from outside school and she values those friendships. But at school she was glad to get on with her schoolwork without having to deal with other issues.

@bendmeoverbackwards

That’s good for your dd *@paralysedbyinertia* but not all girls from age 11 would have the confidence to challenge them. Yes they do need to learn to deal with this stuff but all in good time. It’s important that girls do mix with boys socially, my dd has male friends from outside school and she values those friendships. But at school she was glad to get on with her schoolwork without having to deal with other issues.

So maybe we need to do more to boost girls' confidence and to empower them to challenge this stuff. I still don't think segregation is the answer, personally.

I went to one and it has severely affected my ability to trust other women and make and keep female friends. I get severe anxiety after a night with other women.

I wouldn't put my eldest in one because of it as she is quite like me personality wise. My youngest would probably be alright but didn't want to go to one.
Her friends that did are all experiencing relational aggression and bullying.
Yes boys can be distributive but both my girls have a lovely group of mixed friends from school