What are your thoughts on all girls schools?

[Cupidity]

DD is going into year 6 and we're going to have to apply for secondary schools very soon. Due to covid we haven't been able to look around any schools and so we're struggling to imagine what they are like.

One of the best secondary schools locally (if she passed the 11+) is an all girl's grammar school.

DD seems keenest on this one as it's the one her closet friends are hoping to go to. However, I'm not sure what an all girl's school will be like. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

I went to a girls school and I liked it but have chosen mixed for my children and actively dismissed single sex. I have seen no evidence of girls feeling initiated by boys. They’re strong girls who are independently minded and know they are equal to the boys and the boys treat them as equals. More girls do stem at A levels than boys and they have some lovely equal friendships of both sexes. I find it unnatural to split boys and girls and a thank full they’ve had the chance for a co-Ed education. I don’t think it’s so popular anymore - there are 3 local independent schools, 2 boys, one girls all announcing recently they’re going co-ed

After years in a boy-heavy primary, with reading topics, PE and many other things being pitched to try and engage the disruptive boys, my dd chose a single sex secondary. She’s very happy there.

I came out of single sex education from 4-18 confident and happy. A bit shit at flirting, but no issues at uni in a male dominated setting.

Having considered this some more, I said upthread that going to a girls school made me and my friends a bit boy obsessed. Looking back, and I don’t think I’ve ever really considered this at all, I’ve always found it difficult to be friends with boys / men, it feels like I never learned how to be, and always saw them as romantic options rather than friends. My first experience of boys were Those from the boys school, who only showed an interest if they fancied you. They weren’t interested in being friends either. Really sad actually when I think about it, but I definitely learnt that having any relationship with someone if the opposite sex was about fancying each other. IVe moved on from that now but still find it hard to make friendships with men without wondering if they find me attractive and vice verse. Am sure it’s down to being at a girls school, but as I said, never really thought about it before.

Budapest. It's really interesting and level headed of you to write that.

My dd goes to mixed. I'm sure she has crushes and talks with other girls about them but it's not a huge deal

Her friends at the single are very boy focused any any boy that pays attention to them is placed on a pedestal.

@whenwillthemadnessend

Budapest. It's really interesting and level headed of you to write that.

My dd goes to mixed. I'm sure she has crushes and talks with other girls about them but it's not a huge deal

Her friends at the single are very boy focused any any boy that pays attention to them is placed on a pedestal.

Thanks whenwill. Also completely agree with the pedestal observation. I definitely had that, and I’ll admit that I kissed a few boys when I was about 14/15 who I wasn’t interested in at all, but they were interested in me which was enough. That sounds awful, I realise, and my self esteem is now, as an adult, very healthy, but certainly at that age, even though I was clever and popular at school, with what I thought was high self esteem, I just had no way of understanding or being taught, what boys were and how we should interact with them

I went to an all girls school, very bitchy.

@whenwillthemadnessend
"Telling them they learn better without them is very detrimental to boys and to girls going forward if they are to assume men are equals in adulthood."
Do you mean girls will consider themselves inferior or superior?

It's not about telling them they learn better - it's well evidenced that they do! Not because of their failings but because well, basically, we live in a sexist society and many schools still don't deal with it very well.

I do agree that I wish this wasn't the case and agree that does appear old fashioned.

Thanks for all the replies, both pro and against. It's given us lots to think about.

DD does have a brother so boys will not be entirely unknown entities. However her after school activities are actually quite girl centric so may encourage her to take up a hobby where she'll interact with boys more.

[quote Ihatemyseleffordoingthis]@whenwillthemadnessend
"Telling them they learn better without them is very detrimental to boys and to girls going forward if they are to assume men are equals in adulthood."
Do you mean girls will consider themselves inferior or superior?

It's not about telling them they learn better - it's well evidenced that they do! Not because of their failings but because well, basically, we live in a sexist society and many schools still don't deal with it very well.

I do agree that I wish this wasn't the case and agree that does appear old fashioned.[/quote]
Ihatemyself
I said upthread that I’m not sure where these stats come from, almost all girls in single Sex schools are more academic anyway as they will mostly be grammar or private schools, I can’t work out how they can show that girls do better In single sexual education when these are the “cleverer” ones in the first place

I went to bog standard mixed comp really didn’t want that for my girls. Dd1 thriving at all girl state and Dd2 starts there next term. Results best in county too

Advantages
Women role models doing everything
Less pressure to act 'like a girl around boys '
lack of boys' sexual attention in school

Disadvantages
Some girl's schools Can be smaller and have less interesting options than boys schools

@Budapestpest - there may well be some truth in that, although in the city I am in the single sex schools are all comps/non-selective.

DD has ended up in a single sex school through a very particular set of circs - and I am really impressed with it. Her previous co-ed school was not great at inculcating a culture of equality. In that her experience mirrors my own of 30+ years ago.

I went to an all girls secondary school and loved it. I remember on a induction session marvelling at how much we got through when there were no boys to mess about and cause the teacher to go into discipline mode. I also loved that the girls got to use the WHOLE playground. I thought this was great because at my junior school the playground had been used up almost completely by the boys playing football while the girls stood around the edges having to play games that didnt involve running about.

Everyone in my class (this was 20 years ago) went through a "I wonder if I am a lesbian" phase which was discussed very seriously and openly. At the end of school I think only 2 girls in the class were lesbians, but it was a phase that was widely supported by the girls who were given space to explore who they were without any need to actually stick with anything! I really appreciated that you could talk about anything you wanted without fear of ridicule. It was totally ok to change your style/views/personality overnight.

A lot of girls in my year went on to study STEM subjects, it didnt occur to me that they wouldn't. I studied some modules in women's studies at uni and was really surprised at all the sexism that people were referring to, all I had been taught was how amazing, clever, and successful women were and had plenty of examples to back it up. So I guess in this small way my school didnt prepare me for the real world, but it hasnt held me back. University was plenty of time to learn how to interact with man. I lived with guys in my second year and formed some great friendships.

I would send my daughter to a single sex school in a heartbeat but unfortunately there are no state ones around here and we cant afford private.

How can girls learn boys are not the spawn of Saten and see them as normal people if we don't mix them for 7 years.

Dads, Brothers - brother's friends, cousins, uncles, neighbours etc etc

I went to an all girls school, flew academically but developed lifelong eating disorders and the beginnings of what would become full blown alcoholism (in recovery 6 yrs). This was not directly caused by the school environment but definitely wasn't helped by it.

However, having heard about what schools are like now, I will live in a tent and eat beans on toast for the rest of my life to make sure DD goes to a single sex school.

I also loved the fact that at school I was just Fusion. There were no stereotypes / expectation or social conditioning to be anything just because I was a girl. There was every type of girl there - science, sport, drama, kind, nasty, manipulative, strong, loud, timid.

I left with an absolute conviction that nothing was ruled out for me. I didn't even question it - as it had never been a thing. Girls did everything.

I went to an all girls school for secondary (my choice) and it was wonderful. If I had the option for my dd and she was happy with that, I’d definitely do the same. It was really relaxed and friendly and without all the pressures of boys and dating, etc.

If the law doesn't start waking up there will be no such thing as girls schools. There pushing this trans stuff hard in schools and earlier.

@HJ372

That played no small part in my ultimate decision to send dd to an all girls school. I think she'll make it through her education before the worst hits, but feel very depressed for those coming after.

DGD insisted on going to an all-girls' secondary. I quote: "I don't want to have to sit next to some horrible boy who sits and picks his nose all day."

I went to an all girls grammar but now live on a different part of the country. I wish I had the option for my DD when she goes to high school.

I know this is an old thread, but I just came across it, and feel so strongly that I have to comment.
I wish with all my heart that I could have gone to an all girls school. I was deeply damaged by my 'education' more destruction of me than education. I was a very sensitive gentle girl, and the aggression and harassment at some co-ed schools can be awful (particularly former boys schools that have only recently gone co-ed).
I know I would have thrived at the right kind of girls school (I know they vary).
I'm philosophical about most things in life, but still deeply grieve over my bad secondary education, and still suffer PTSD. If I had a daughter with a character like mine, I'd move Heaven and Earth to find her a place at a girls only school.

I went to an all girls school. Refused to consider it for my DD. Outdated hangover from several 100 years ago when “young ladies” were taught sewing, music etc and boys had a “proper education “. Times have moved on since then. Women have to be able to “compete” with men in the real world. Rocking up to uni at 18 from a single sex environment is not easy (for both sexes). I think both sexes benefit from mixed education and it’s up to schools and parents to ensure the pupils treat each other properly. And yes, my Dd did stem subjects at A level

I have mixed feelings.
Both dds went to an all girls senior school.

One did very well and was happy.
The other did well but wasn’t happy - IMO she was unlucky since there were some thoroughly nasty little bitches in her year and she was bullied.

I often wished I’d sent her to a slightly less academic co-ed where she’d also got a place - both were independents - but at the time she’d wanted to go to the same school as her sister.

The trouble with all-girls is that girls can be so bloody nasty! We had much the same at my own senior school - the memory of a particularly evil little bully still makes me shudder.

I come from a country where single sex education in state sector so when we had to look for DD in Y5 we didn't really know what to expect.

I feared cliquey behaviour, especially as the girls in her primary school seemed to be 10 going on 15 already.

She is now in Y9 at an all-girls secondary, in reality the only option we had. We couldn't be more pleased.

The school is very much a "you can do whatever you want" and "being a girl doesn't mean you can't do it" approach. The head is a very vocal feminist and runs the school accordingly. There is a good mix of male and female teacher over all subjects and their percentage of STEM based A-levels is huge despite offering a really broad group of subjects.
Sex and relationship education is huge, we just got a leaflet for a one-day-workshop and it is normally done at least one term per year in normal teaching with the importance on relationship, peer pressure and the actual physical side as well. In Art they actually looked at photoshop and how an average looking person can be made looking 100Mio Dollars.

I found that, while DD is a girl through and through and loves girly stuff, there is no real competition of having the best fashion. It helps that make up is a big no-no, handbags are banned and the uniform policy is strict.

My only negative issue with single sex in general is DD's lack of normal interaction with the male sex. She doesn't have friends with brothers and none of her hobbies includes boys apart from Scouting where she meets them too infrequent (split packs). Saying that, she still sees most males as a nuisance and has no interest in any form of romance.

Sixth form will be mixed though.

I went to an all girls school and loved it - similar reason to previous posters - felt confident / no barriers / encouraged etc.
My DD also goes to an all girls school.
I think the key thing I learned was I went to quite a few after school clubs that were boy heavy - council run youth group / venture scouts thing etc and that was hugely beneficial. Now clubs are opening up properly again I’m encouraging DD to at least try a youth club etc with her friends so they have that experience / balance