ADs against the ‘’ current abnormal ‘ and ‘ antisocial distancing ‘...Gather here 👍

[Dowser]

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Hello Girls..it’s me again.

Hope your all out and about enjoying this glorious Saturday.

Thank you TheOrchidKiller. If she hadn't had the breakdown, I wouldn't be able to see her or dad at all. She's improving with medication and counseling, but she's a shadow of what she was before this all began. The isolation- and fear- broke her.

I need to get up and have a shower and get dressed. I feel like a toddler stamping my foot saying "won't"

But my cousin is coming for lunch so I need to sort a picnic out so we can get outside with the kids for a bit.

I'm sorry if I come across as needy, it's just the slightest thing these days sends me plummeting into a pit and every time it's harder to climb out.

Focus on food. That will help. I need a picnic for 2 adults and 4 children, I'm thinking sausage rolls, crisps, fruit, sandwiches? I have about 40 eggs so could make a tortilla thing maybe? Or just hard boiled with salt

@PinkFondantFancy

Butter you utter loon. Does it look like now though?

Yes I can see through the window now so won't need to open the door all the time to check if things are cooked .

I tried the MN trick of using a damp dishwasher tablet on the glass but it didn't work so had to get the scourer out and use elbow grease instead so now I am in need of another shower

@chocolatesweets
I understand. I really want a break & to plan nice things but can't get over the thought of disappointment. It's not like I haven't been disappointed before. I think the constant threat of it pulls me into apathy. It's like the low-level depression makes me blind to any ideas.

Your DH sounds like mine. Mine wants to fix things when they're wrong. His heart's in the right place. I feel bad for also saying, "I don't know," all the time.

Sometimes I make myself plan something very small that will be nice but not awful if it doesn't happen. Small steps.

Toddlers are hard work & you've got twins. Don't do yourself down. Is there someone outside of family /friends you can talk to?

Your posts are disturbing @skeptile. That not only are the government TELLING people their freedoms will be curtailed (in perpetuity?) - but the fucking muppets are weeping tears of joy about it. Makes our pot-banging for “nhs heroes” look a bit tame.

They seem desperate to back themselves into corners - both governments AND citizens.

I think this is where my MH will crack. I don’t want to be the woman in The Choice pretending to her children that this way of life is completely normal.

for everyone who is struggling at the moment. It's shit isn't it.

PinkFondantFancy, we had a massive balls up with quarantine - the premier rejected advice to use defence force or police to manage the hotels where returned travelers were required to isolate. They used casual security guards, who ended up having sexual contact with infected returnees, took them shopping in exchange for bribes etc etc. Apparently there is strong evidence that all the state's current infection can be genomically linked to quarantine infection. All other states used Australian Defence Force or police to manage their hotels.

The genomic sequencing evidence hasn't been released - the declared state of disaster permits it to be suppressed until the state of disaster is concluded. Cynically, it would seem that this provides the premier with ample reason to draw this out.

@skeptile

I forgot to say, my FB is full of Melbournians expressing adoration for the Premier (seriously, there's a 'give the premier a virtual hug', and 'write dan a letter of thanks' bullshit all over the place.) I couldn't help but ascribe it to this phenomenon:

Stockholm syndrome has been defined as a condition in which hostages develop a psychological alliance with their captors during captivity.[1] Emotional bonds may be formed between captor and captives, during intimate time together, but these are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims.

Yes to Stockholm Syndrome

I was thinking this about the adoration of Nicky in Scotland. I will be very surprised if anyone expresses those kinds of feeling for BoJo. I have heard murmurs of it for Rishi and even Wanksock though so it can't be ruled out.

My brother and his family are in Melbourne. I don't think they worship your premier but they do agree it is necessary. from their very comfortable, early retirement, in their large home with pool

Insane I really want to read that book!

Sorry to be so negative. I'm just so concerned about where this is heading, and I feel like very few people have respect for democratic norms. There was a great article the other day by a local QC - he said even during the Spanish Flu pandemic, parliament continued to sit. But it's been suspended now - even with the possibilities presented by remote access! So alarming. We're not even a week into this new 6 week lockdown. We've been locked down since March! We had a less than 2 week respite, then locked back down. That's why I think many people are 'dear leader-ing' all over the place. Because it's very dark to think about the alternative. People can't face it.

I am reminded of Sturgeon too, IaintentDead

[quote PinkFondantFancy]@chocolatesweets do you have any girlfriends you could call? I read somewhere that the reason we find things like that hard is that men think we're asking them for a solution, the answer to fix something whereas actually what we're looking for is to talk around it, have some empathy etc. Gross generalisation but it does make some sense[/quote]
Yeah, bless him. He's a good husband.
Two closest girlfriends don't have kids and I have to organise every outing. I've asked them 3 times during this lockdown whether they want to hang out and they've agreed but won't randomly call and organise something with me. I suppose they're just happy.

One said she was glad the government was being cautious in Wales and the other isn't feeling too great after contracting coronavirus. I just said, I think it's easier for some than for others. I think they think I have it easy as I don't work but they don't have a clue yet. Or they think I was stupid for having twins when I couldn't afford them lol.

Another girlfriend I have called and we had a good time chatting. She has kids and enjoyed talking to me. She is returning to work so I think this is the answer for me also.

I'm just going to have to work through disappointments I think. The other option is to not make any plans and that is worse.

I wonder when everyone will have had enough?

In laws can't understand why youths are being increasingly antisocial and rubbish is being left on beaches, nobody caring about each other. This is what we've preached since March, every man for himself, locked indoors. It's not obvious to a lot of people. Waiting for the world to catch up.

@chocolatesweets

Hey everyone, had a lovely day out yesterday but I'm so shattered with everything. I've had 3 panic attacks since lockdown (had one before in uni 15 years ago).

Had a nightmare last night that all my friends were leaving to go somewhere and I kept asking them where they were going and nobody acknowledged me. It was like I was a ghost and nobody could see me. Dh woke me up as I was shaking the bed (this can't be healthy 🙈).

I want to be left alone but I'm also longing for connection. A weird combination. When I try and connect with dh , he keeps saying , "what are you/what do you want me to do about it?" And I keep saying I don't know ,and the conversation ends there.

Hoping to get somewhere with job search so I can have a few minutes peace. I feel so unappreciative of the strong and healthy toddlers I have but it's seriously making me feel 😑 emotionally flat day in day out.

Finding it difficult to live with the threat of lockdown too. Want to plan a mini break with a friend. Scared of being disappointed.

I hit the peopled out/ lonely phase in early June. The outcome was as the end of online Brownies, Brown Owl asked how I was and I just ended up sobbing at her and 20 minuts later, I was on her sofa with gin in my hand... and there I stayed for 6 hours. Didn't know I could get through 2/3s of a large bottle of gin, because I'm a serious lightweight The hangover was good. One of those where you feel crap, but know you enjoyed earning it, and it was a shitty Friday with fuck all to do anyway (and another day of home learning that did not happen).

I got DH to drive the DCs out to some woods in the next county (for a walk, not abandonment ) and by the time they did that and had a KFC, it was about 4 hours. Alas my sweetner in the deal was not quality me time, but cleaning, but at least in the last week I've been able to see the conservatory floors and the bathrooms don't need condemning! It was still good to plough on at something, play my music loud and not be interrupted by other people's brain dumps.

@BogRollBOGOF made me smile, thanks

I know what you mean. I hate the neverendingness. I miss deciding to go places and just going. I don't dare plan anything now. And, stupid though it is, I am bored. I am trying to do different things but it is hard.

Found an interesting cartoon with some rather cute pictures and a sense of proportionality. Thought I would share with you lot ☺

I've found booking one or two outings a week helps with a bit of focus and breaks the groundhog day grind. It doesn't have to be anything spectacular.

Socially I've struggled because the friends that I would normally see casually are either overworked (such as my gin heavy Brown Owl) or hypercautious and not making themselves avaliable. My children didn't go to the school nursery so while I get on casually with the local school mums, I've never fallen on their radar for meet ups, and I've never quite sussed how to get in there. Normally my life is busy with other stuff and that gap isn't there, but I have really felt it this year.

Our families aren't local. DH will not be flying/ ferrying home to see his elderly mother this year for the first time. He has one sibling here, who we are actually seeing for the first time since Christmas next week. He's always very rule driven (I suspect thar there is more autism in the family than DS and that cousin...) so when the rule was 6 people at a house, that was unhelpful because 2x 4 is too many.

My family aren't local and are spread across the UK. DB and family are always overworked. Grandma-mum was ill in hopspital in Feb with her gallbladder, and I suspect came out with Covid, she certainly had a nasty "chest infection" and had a DVT scare around that time and took time to get over it. I invited myself down in June by taking flowers to my dad's grave and asking if I could pop by, but that's about the only excuse I have for "popping" when there's nearly 2 hours of driving involved. She's not feeling sociable because as well as the gallbladder being unpredictable, she has another wearing condition that had surgery cancelled at the last minute in October, then was rescheduled for March (but she wasn't well enough then). She has DB nearby. I'm actually going to see mother on holiday. She's 200 miles away and our relationship is not conventional or simple, but we're having a better phase, and with the tourism offer of 2020, I'd rather see her than shuffle around a stuffy sea life centre having panic attacks about a covered up face (the atmosphere in a Sea Life is about my limit on humidity/ sensory overwhelm anyway).

The school people seem to have a lot of local families or newly retired families with the means and inclination to come and stay, and seem to get that connection and support. We then feel like cheeky buggers asking for occasional favours because we don't naturally requite them because their families do that (which is why we get stuck sometimes, and another on the list of why I stopped working).

I'm not unsociable at all, (although I do regularly need some peace and quiet alone) I just seem to be very out of synch on practical social groups.

I like that @ISaySteadyOn - it’d be a different kettle of fish if our skin was turning black and dead by dinner.

I'm sorry to hear that everyone is struggling. My DS2 (7) has struggled the most through this whole thing. He's such a sociable soul. Whenever we'd go to the park, he'd instantly find friends from school or make friends with new children as he is so desperate for that social interaction.

We're going to France this week (booked back in January). My dad and stepmum were supposed to come too, but as numbers started to rise in France, they backed out. Trouble is, my dad is heavily influenced by the media and that's how he made the decision, declaring it not safe. Even when I did the research and showed him that the region that we're going to is 2850 square miles and has had 4 Covid hospitalisations in the last 7 days, compared to where he lives that is 1100 square miles and has had 151 and there's a local lockdown happening less than 50 miles from their house. Bit he won't be moved and still thinks that staying home is safer. So now I've got two upset DC and on top of that I'm feeling completely stitched up as as a result of my parents coming, my MIL was invited too, and she's still coming. So now it's me, DH, two DC and my MIL 😩

I've got DS (7) booked into sports club sessions. I booked them fairly late on so hopefully haven't deprived other families of much needed child care. It's my usual summer holiday survival strategy anyway. He needs more company than DS1 (whose idea of sports club is hell on earth), and booking him in gives him a good social outlet and chance to play proper sport. DS1 loves this arrangement and we call them 1:1 days. Generally he'll choose to go off on a pokemon hunt around a few parks.

DS2 is the one who's struggled more and thought his friends abandoned him. He's over the worst of it, again it was early June when some children went back to school, the weather was awful and things had already worn thin.

He's got 2 days this week. Then we are hopefully flocking down to a caravan next week. Another sports session the week after and then, fingers crossed... BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

@BogRollBOGOF similar here in that family live far away, I have some relatives nearby but they grew up here & have ready-made friends so we rarely see each other. We moved here when eldest was a baby so I had to start again with making friends. They were all friends with each other so that was hard.

Some serious shit has happened to us which meant we lost our social lives. I know lots of people but no one who would go & get me shopping if we had to self-isolate.

I've always had a plan in my head that involves me hopping on a train to get to DPs when the time comes for them to need me. (Practised this when DGM was terminally ill & it worked). The lockdowns & travel restrictons would make this tricky, but I would do it.

I look at people I know who have family & friends to pop round to at the drop of a hat, or people to go on holiday with. I wouldn't want to live in someone's pocket but sometimes it would be nice to have a bit of that.

Hearing about others getting together now- I don't begrudge anyone because it's a step towards normality, but it's hard not being able to join in.

[quote Dowser]@PickAChew
Have they finished rebuilding Durham yet?
I didn’t realise how upset I get when I see lots of construction/ destruction going on. It makes me feel really disorientated . Last time we went into durham and saw the mess at the end of the main bridge, elves? Not sure, I said to mr Dowser I can’t stay here, it’s how we found the nice walk at houghall and how we began our Indian picnics.
For years my dd met her home ed group at the botanic gardens, they would go regularly and stay outside, even in the thick of winter.
Anyone visiting, the oriental museum is well worth a visit.

Mushrooms? Let’s just say I can eat them but they don’t like me.[/quote]
The repair works to old elvet Bridge are finally finished, as is the building of the river walk and student accommodation by Framwellgate Bridge, where the gates used to be. Now new elvet Bridge, on one of the busiest roads through the city is closed until September 2021, which makes dh very glad he's wfh, now!

The old passport office is still a construction site. Last time I walked down that way, there were massive girders and scaffolding hanging over the pavement.

The railway station is a bit of a building site, too, including building work on the long stay car park.

Then there is the replacement for cunty Hall being built, down on the sands. If course that means that cunty Hall will become yet another building site, at some point, though probably not as lucrative as the council were hoping for, since the changes in working patterns. It was intended to be done in 3 phases and I can't see it getting past the first stage, now.

1/3 of our city is vacant, derilect or rubble, 1/3 is INTU... aparently a 1/3 of that is likely to be empty at the end of the year. At the current rate, I won't be going there in person to find out.

I look at people I know who have family & friends to pop round to at the drop of a hat, or people to go on holiday with. I wouldn't want to live in someone's pocket but sometimes it would be nice to have a bit of that

I can really relate to this. Locally I have one friend that I have been away with, we went camping last year, with just the DC, no husbands. But this year they've booked to go camping with another family that they know through school (our DC go to different schools) that they socialise with. However, we do still pop round to each others houses, DS2 and I were there for three hours yesterday, often on a whim. But only having that one person means that it can be lonely as sometimes she's busy and I don't see her for weeks.

Some serious shit has happened to us which meant we lost our social lives. I know lots of people but no one who would go & get me shopping if we had to self-isolate.

Did you ask? You could well be surprised! We had to self isolate for 7 days early on. I wound up asking a neighbour who has a DC in the same class as mine to pick me up some soya milk when she went shopping. She was happy to do it and left it on the doorstep. I would have happily done what I could to help people out. I spent one evening dropping home learning packs round to families that were isolating when schools broke up. None were close friends but I knew they needed the help and all appreciated it.

@BogRollBOGOF, booking things will not work in our family because that would involve people actually doing what Mummy says to get ready. But they won't. We are never really on time for anything except if DH comes. They'll do what he says quick smart. And he can't come all the time cos he has to work.

I am sorry about the negativity. I feel v much like I don't matter today. Had a not so good sleep last night.

The leaving-the-house-on-time thing doesn't get any better. When they're small you can't get them out the door because someone is having a strop about not being able to wear a swimming costume and sandals to walk to school in winter. When they're much older you can't leave on time because they don't have anything to wear at all whatsoever & because their sibling has looked at them wrong.

@PinkFondantFancy

Dried or tinned?

Dried. Nearly 2 kilos!