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Original poster

Neighbour screamed "call the police" and I did nothing

141 replies

cobrapose · 07/08/2020 20:53

I'm staying with my mum for a few days and my mum's neighbours son came home screaming, shouting and name calling his mother. I heard things being thrown and then she shouted "call the police". I was calling 999 then my mother asked me to stop. She told me not to get involved. I've just argued with her about ignoring this situation as her neighbour could end up dead one day.

I want to send a note in her letter box to tell her to call womens aid because her son is abusive.

I feel so awful for doing nothing.

They've stopped arguing now, but I feel like I should still do something to help.

I'm actually in shock. My neigbours don't do this.

OP posts:
MitziK · 07/08/2020 22:17

The only times people have stopped to help me (illness, being attacked) or anybody else I know (DP, DDs) in the street, they've always been middleaged women. I try to repay the favour.

We're the only ones who seem to do this time and time again.

And that includes calling the police when somebody is being attacked by their adult son.

We shouldn't let ourselves down by saying 'Don't get involved', 'It doesn't count', 'People might know'. Have courage and do What is Right.

BananaPop2020 · 07/08/2020 22:18

OP do you honestly not see why people are angry about this?

LovingLola · 07/08/2020 22:21

What a joke. I should know not to vent online, especially when something worrying happens.

I don’t think anyone is laughing.
Can you not see how you’re coming across? You’re not the victim here.

Original poster
cobrapose · 07/08/2020 22:21

I know why people are angry. I dont understand why I'm being accused of lying about this.

When I tried to call the police and my mum stopped me, I was wondering if is done something wrong by trying to get police involved. Felt bad afterwards. This obviously wasn't the place to ask/vent. Should have spoken to someone in real life.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 07/08/2020 22:22

Look, take it as a lesson learned. Next time call the police. You may save a life.

Original poster
cobrapose · 07/08/2020 22:22

No, I'm not the victim. I know tha, I acknowledge that. The neighbour is the victim. And it was a shit thing not to call straight after she screamed.

OP posts:
LovingLola · 07/08/2020 22:23

It’s not easy to do the right thing sometimes.

whereistherum · 07/08/2020 22:24

When I tried to call the police and my mum stopped me, I was wondering if is done something wrong by trying to get police involved. Felt bad afterwards. This obviously wasn't the place to ask/vent. Should have spoken to someone in real life.

People are not just pissed that you didn't call, more that you tried to bullshit your way out of it by saying you did.

If this was the MNs of old, they wouldn't delete this thread because you are not getting the answers you don't like

Illuyanka · 07/08/2020 22:25

Something worrying is understatement when someone's life could be in danger.
You could have admitted you didn't do the right thing and shown some regret. Then maybe you had different reaction. Not everyone can act in fearful situation. But being able to post a thread says otherwise.

Darkestseasonofall · 07/08/2020 22:26

Interesting first post

TableFlowerss · 07/08/2020 22:26

@Borderstotheleftofme

OK, so when a woman in distress screams "Call the police" and there's the sound of things being thrown, literally no-one should take any notice of her in case of repercussions? I hope the people saying this are never in need of urgent assistance I can only assume you have never been in contact with or known the sort of people the son probably is, that will make the mums life an absolute living hell if he gets wind it was her that called.

The police won’t do anything much, they can’t, they don’t have the funding or numbers and the justice system isn’t strict enough.

And most likely, the abused mum will side with the son, minimising, lying about what happened.

OP should have stayed out imo

@WorraLiberty

What this poster said!!

Alwaysinpain · 07/08/2020 22:29

@cobrapose OP, I have GENUINE reasons for asking this - Do you live near Wigan at all? I know of someone in a situation just like this and they have stuff going on right now. Really wondering if this could be them 😬 Odds are it's not, I know. But I had to ask

WorraLiberty · 07/08/2020 22:29

TableFlowerss I'm not sure what you mean?

Are you in agreement with that poster than when a woman needs urgent assistance from the police, because she has a 30 year old son screaming abuse at her and there are things been thrown in the background, no-one should answer her cry for help and actually call the Police?

Or have I got that wrong?

I hope so...

WorraLiberty · 07/08/2020 22:30

*being thrown

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/08/2020 22:30

Ah well, should just ignore it then. The woman might be lying seriously injured or dead, but 🤷 best to keep your nose out because the guy probably won't be prosecuted.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/08/2020 22:31

TableFlowerss

NiceGerbil · 07/08/2020 22:32

'Today 21:36Iminaglasscaseofemotion

I wanted to yell out the window or go out. DH stopped me he said, they'll know where we live.

Your dh watched a 15 year old girl get beaten up outside your house and you both did nothing? That's disgusting.'

Noooo, although fits your narrative. Also how do you know she was 15? Bit odd Confused

I woke up and looked out.

Teenagers drunk and rowing (big group).

When one of the boys attacked one of the girls I called 999.

While I was on hold, I said to DH fuck this. If I yell out the window or go out they will stop.

DH said sure but they'll know where we live.

Still on hold to police.

Then they all legged it with 2 boys holding 1 off and girls comforting the one who was attacked.

Neighbours all saw, found out next day.

I was the only one who called the police. They never showed.

It is not unreasonable to worry about people knowing where you live either. Not a good thing, it's a bad thing. But a true thing.

That's disgusting behaviour? Ok then.

Original poster
cobrapose · 07/08/2020 22:37

@Alwaysinpain not in Wigan no. Happened in London.

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 07/08/2020 22:37

So I have been told off for calling 999 as it's not enough.

No one knows how they will react in these situations.

And. The police do fuck all. Well if you're in a met area anywhere. Ditto being followed, wanked at etc etc.

Getting involved is not what many people want to do. DH stopped me, my instinct was to steam out. It was 2am and he was naked.

I have been in the vicinity of way worse things and the fact is, most people do NOT get involved.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 07/08/2020 22:54

NiceGerbil my mistake, I thought I read fifteen, but it was teen. Doesn't really matter. People will still stand and watch a teen girl be attacked by a boy and the most they are willing to do is sit on hold to the police.

Staffy1 · 08/08/2020 01:31

@LovingLola

I can't comment on whether the story is BS or not but the replies saying 'Do nothing' are fucking depressing.

Yes. No wonder so many women end up suffering years of abuse. The culture of ‘keep out of it’ is thriving.

Why would no one reporting things be the cause of women suffering years of abuse. What is to stop them reporting it themselves if it's going on for years? Sometimes people need to take responsibility for themselves.
LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 08/08/2020 02:26

@Staffy1 what, really?? I thankfully have never had to put up with abuse, but jeez - WTF? You really think if someone is being abused, it's that easy to report it? Other factors like abusive, dangerous or whatever or being so far in maybe not physically but emotionally makes it hard to see clearly.
Bigger perspective needed....

Yankathebear · 08/08/2020 02:35

Well done for calling op

Yankathebear · 08/08/2020 02:39

@Staffy1 because you think it will stop. You think it will get better. It was a misunderstanding, they didn’t mean to hurt you. You deserved it. If you behave differently it will stop. They’re tired/poorly/stressed. It’s your fault.

‘Some people need to take responsibility for themselves’ this makes me so sad.

RaisinGhost · 08/08/2020 03:00

But yankthebear that way if thinking applies if the police are called. I think Staffy is just saying there is a lot more to it, the police aren't just going to show up and rescue the person, problem solved.