New baby survival kit

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My friends have had their first baby and I want to make a little “recovery kit” for them both but I’m a little stuck - wondered if anybody had any ideas?

It’s a little bit of a joke gift so doesn’t have to be deadly serious items!

So far I have:

Ear plugs (this is a joke, I obviously know they can’t really stick earplugs in when caring for a new born lol)
Red bull
Prozac
Miniature wines for mum
Giant dummy for dad
Tired eye products

Could you get some jars, fill them with pill-like sweets and write funny labels on them so they look like medicine?

Eye masks and a neck pillow

Tangle teezer hairbrush

Dark glasses

Leggings, slippers and a circle scarf because that's your new uniform forever

Funny oversized mum slogan tshirts

Snot sucker

Anti snore medication for dad

Head torch for nocturnal nappy changes

What about the 'Go the F*ck to Sleep' book?

God, people have taken offence to this a bit too much. It's just a laugh ffs.

Honestly I don’t really want to bother anymore through fear of unwarranted hysteria 🤦🏻‍♀️

I daren’t mention that I’m friends with the make in this relationship and therefore the jokes were for him and the nice bits were for her (and to be honest, I’m assuming she has a warped sense of humour to be with this guy but maybe I’m wrong and she will be offended by it all!!!) nothing like mumsnet to make you disect every thought you have 😬😬😬

I was going to put in some treats from her home country too but now I’m worried it will make me racist in some way for assuming she might like them 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn't waste too much money on joke bits as it's labouring the joke a bit too much. A couple of jokes things in with some actual nice things would be ok. Add in more chocolate, pyjamas, just eat vouchers, bubble bath, Netflix subscription etc. Still same joke, but also useful, not a waste of money and not labouring the joke too much.