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Original poster

New baby survival kit

56 replies

Namechangex10000 · 08/07/2020 08:20

My friends have had their first baby and I want to make a little “recovery kit” for them both but I’m a little stuck - wondered if anybody had any ideas?

It’s a little bit of a joke gift so doesn’t have to be deadly serious items!

So far I have:

Ear plugs (this is a joke, I obviously know they can’t really stick earplugs in when caring for a new born lol)
Red bull
Prozac
Miniature wines for mum
Giant dummy for dad
Tired eye products

OP posts:
WhoUsedMyName · 08/07/2020 08:54

I think it's funny somthing my best friend would do. In one of my pregnancies she got dh some
Condoms & me some huge tena ladies 🤣.
Believe it or not MN she's still my friend 😑some people need to get a grip

Original poster
Namechangex10000 · 08/07/2020 08:56

@WhoUsedMyName oh my god thank you, I started to believe I was insane for a moment. I cannot tell you how bemused they would be if I gave them black and white books for the baby and an injury kit (hardly positive?!) jeez 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Lockdownseperation · 08/07/2020 08:56

What people find funny normally and what they find funny after just giving birth, often with vaginal injuries or having had major surgery, leaking from every orifice, exhausted, in pain, hormone crash while having your life turned upside down maybe very different.

The people who are giving their opinion can remember what it’s like to be a vulnerable new Mum and are commenting on how they would have felt at that time.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
whatswithtodaytoday · 08/07/2020 08:58

I would be baffled by a giant dummy because I don't have a man child husband? But I guess if you think they'll think it's funny go ahead... seems like a huge waste of money though.

A real dummy would be useful - I had no intention of using one, but a friend included one in a basket of gifts and I tried it when my baby had been crying for two days. It worked.

mummyof2ds · 08/07/2020 08:58

I would have loved this with a few extra bits thrown in we did similar when are friends became first time parents

peachypetite · 08/07/2020 08:58

Something useful like cook vouchers?

WhoUsedMyName · 08/07/2020 08:59

I know crazy right! Personally I'd put one of these in for good measures maybe if baby don't use it mum can 😏

New baby survival kit
SecondStarFromTheRight · 08/07/2020 09:01

Everyone knows that having a baby is a serious time and a massive change. I actually think it's nice if you've got that dynamic for an injection of comedy into the occasion.
And fwiw I had a traumatic birth 10 months ago. I've hardly forgotten it! People are different.

CommunistLegoBloc · 08/07/2020 09:02

I think there's a line between 'funny' but useful gifts like coffee and caffeine tablets and things like a giant dummy, which is just tat. It might provide a moment's amusement and then they've just got a lump of plastic to find a home for or bin.

Coffee
First aid and thirst aid - Calpol and wine
One of those 'emergency' chocolate bars

annie9876 · 08/07/2020 09:03

OP - if someone had given me proplus when my baby was born I'd likely have kissed them Grin

We were given a jokey hamper by my best friend after the birth of my DC and I found them very funny. Added a moment of lightness in what was a very tough time.

My friend gave me and DH the following:

  • Starbucks coffee mug (with a note inside saying "this is purely decorative. you are never going to have time to drink a hot drink again for the next 4 years")

  • Paracetamol

  • Concealer (I'd complained to her that id never known dark circles like I had in the week after giving birth)

  • Bath bombs (again with a note saying "purely decorative - you will never have an uninterrupted bath again")

A book on relaxation (one of those coffee table joke books)

A massive bar of chocolate (think the type you get at Xmas)

A bag of pork scratchings for DH (with a post it attached saying "if you want to remain married do not eat these when baby is sleeping, if you are looking for a night away in a hotel as a treat whack them open the minute baby closes their eyes")

We thought it was great, they are friends who know us really well and had been a great support throughout the pregnancy.

They did also give us 2 handmade vouchers for babysitting services (which reminds me, I need to cash those in Wink)

userabcname · 08/07/2020 09:03

Extra strong deodrant! I was super sweaty after delivery. One of those wine glasses that holds a full bottle or I got a bottle stop that says "mum's medicine" so something like that. That 'Parenting for Dummies' book. Coffee. I would also put paracetamol in because it is useful to have a stash but also a nod to the screaming baby giving you a headache.

Boomclaps · 08/07/2020 09:06

Snacks. All the snacks.

Boomclaps · 08/07/2020 09:07

Also I think once we’d got past the Prozac/proplus thing (ive got ante natal depression) I thought you were a hoot

Loubylou9162 · 08/07/2020 09:09

I have a really good sense of humour but with the Raging hormones I’m not sure I’d appreciate this.
I’d appreciate the wine, the dry shampoo, coffee, maybe even the red bull although I wouldn’t drink it can’t stand the stuff. The giant dummy for dad would really piss me off, my partner is not a whinging man child He’s a grown up and would likely lose his shit if one of my friends suggested otherwise.
My daughter was unplanned and someone put a condom in my new baby card I was fucking horrified!

Apart from the bits I’ve mentioned above You could add- biscuits, if she’s a very good friend some giant black knickers and some breast pads because we all know you go through loads of both (lighthearted and funny but useful)

theproblemwitheyes · 08/07/2020 09:11

do you REALLY believe that there isn’t a person out there who would be amused at a giant dummy for their whingy man child?

I don't think i know anyone who finds a whingy man child amusing, let alone was dumb enough to marry and have a child with one. Men who don't do their share are dead weight and it's even worse after a baby is born - if your friend's husband is as useless as you seem to think he is, she's likely to be utterly exhausted and miserable, and contemplating divorce.

Teacaketotty · 08/07/2020 09:17

do you REALLY believe that there isn’t a person out there who would be amused at a giant dummy for their whingy man child?

I don’t have a whingy man child for a DH but I wouldn’t be amused by a giant dummy if I did, and as PP said I don’t think my DH would be impressed by one of my friends implying that he was.

I’m a young-ish mum and love a laugh, we can be as immature as it comes but I personally don’t think some of your ideas are in good taste. Some are fine and I’ve already given you suggestions for things to add 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Namechangex10000 · 08/07/2020 09:17

@WhoUsedMyName that would actually be quite amusing because mum is from a country where vodka is the drink (I daren’t say which country for fear of being told I’m offensive for saying that too!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechangex10000 · 08/07/2020 09:24

Unfortunately, it is a bit of a running joke that this man has procreated, he can barely manage life himself without getting in trouble, its a gift for him, not her, and will enjoy nothing more than sitting in his work truck with a giant dummy (he’s not my man for very good reason!!!)

I also never said he was useless he’s far from it, but he has an extraordinarily ridiculous sense of humour as do his huge friendship group, different courses for different horses and all that...

I feel I need to once again confirm that I have several children, not all births or traumatic, and not all new mums want to suddenly pretend they are of the perfect parent brigade and have no qualms sitting there saying “well thank fuck for the wine and proplus”

I will once again apologise for the Prozac mishap, I was just being a bit thick and got muddled!

OP posts:
MrsH497 · 08/07/2020 09:37

What about a nice thermos type coffee cup so she can have hot drinks? I've found my chilli water bottle so handy as well. I have one upstairs and one downstairs. Hair ties are handy I hate my hair being grabbed or the idea of loose hair wrapping round her fingers etc.

I wouldn't find some of the items funny (and by no means am I in the "perfect parent" camp a g&t or glass of wine is some days very welcome) but I suppose you know your friend best.

FrugiFan · 08/07/2020 09:45

What people find funny normally and what they find funny after just giving birth, often with vaginal injuries or having had major surgery, leaking from every orifice, exhausted, in pain, hormone crash while having your life turned upside down maybe very different.
OP probably knows her friends better than you think.
And Leaking from every orifice? I dont know what your birth was like but if you were leaking from your ears, eyes, nose, mouth and anus as well as your vagina then something must have gone pretty badly wrong.

FrugiFan · 08/07/2020 09:46

How about the book "Why mummy drinks"? Not my cup of tea but I remember the others in my NCT group raving about how funny it was.

RoLaren · 08/07/2020 10:50

Strong coffee ... wine ... pro-plus? I presume you know whether or not she's breastfeeding?

Woodlandwalks · 08/07/2020 11:24

When I had my baby, somebody sent us one of those onesies that pointed out each arm and leg hole and said 'come on Daddy, you can do this'. It did not go down well. I sobbed because it was so obvious to me that my husband was the calm, easy-going, wonderful parent whilst I was the hysterical mess and clearly the worst parent in the world and it wasn't fair that this person (who was a dear friend) had sent this assuming that my husband was the 'bad parent'. I can fully appreciate now that I may have taken it the wrong way and it was just a silly joke but in that moment with all the stress I was feeling I did definitely have a sense of humour bypass. When you have a baby, you really aren't yourself initially so even if you think that you know your friends really well and they'll really appreciate this present, you need to remember that they might not be themselves having just had the baby. I can see how this would be a funny gift to give at a baby shower but none of it seems quite so funny when you've just had the baby. Frankly anything that is not actually helpful is not wanted for at least the first month. Stop getting offended that people don't think it's a good idea and maybe listen to why they don't think it's a good idea because this is a lot of voices saying that in those very early days, this kind of gift is not appreciated.

OverTheRainbow88 · 08/07/2020 11:28

Calpol!!!

Liverbird77 · 08/07/2020 11:37

A big box of snacks for the mum would be amazing!