Wolf whistling harmless or degrading

[CambsAlways]

Having a conversation with a couple of friends, both in thirties, we got talking about men wolf whistling etc, though it doesn’t happen quite so much now, both my friends had dif view one would welcome being whistled at, the other horrified and disgusted what do you all think

Don't think right section but for me disgusting...I'm mid 30 with two kids if relevant

Harmless. Yeah I know its classed as sexual harassment but always gave me a bit of a lift and to be fair mostly was cheeky fun.

I didn't realise men still thought it acceptable, let alone still did it.

(As an aside, I always read such posed questions as if they're being asked by Holly & Phil, or Jeremy Vine...)

I don't really mind, its totally harmless.

I'm not sure why this is I n for sale but wolf whistling shouldn't still be happening. It's degrading and women should not still be viewed as the sum total of their appearance.

We're moving this to Chat for you, @CambsAlways as we're not sure you meant to post it in this topic!

Thankyou

I find it degrading, humiliating, and intimidating. In my early 20s there was a group of builders on my walk to university who did this every time I walked by and it gave me such bad anxiety that I would go a longer route around just to avoid them. I'm in my 30s with kids now so it doesn't happen any more but I think men who do it are sexist bullies.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt that wolf-whistling gave me ‘a lift’. I’m pretty sure I started getting my first wolf whistles when I was as about 12/13. That’s fucking gross - grown men leering and calling unashamedly at children. It’s not a compliment, it often has nothing to do with how you look. It’s about power and intimidation.

The o oh wolf whistles I’ve ever had have obviously been to intimidate and humiliate as I’ve been an overweight ugly duckling all my life. If I was thinner and prettier it might give me an ego boost, but I find men use it pointedly to make a woman feel as awkward and small as possible.

I don’t mind it, I take it as a compliment.

I use to walk to uni every day and if I didn’t get wolf whistled or beeped at by a car then I would rethink my outfit 😉

But theres a line between wolf whistling and offensive cat calling.

Degrading and threatening. I loathe it. I don't personally feel.threatened but I think it is threatening and clearly makes many women v nervous. Why their desire to let us know we are sexually attractive is important I will never understand.

@LochJessMonster

I don’t mind it, I take it as a compliment.

I use to walk to uni every day and if I didn’t get wolf whistled or beeped at by a car then I would rethink my outfit 😉

But theres a line between wolf whistling and offensive cat calling.

Good lord, I despair.

I’ve found there’s two types of male street attention:

1. Polite exclamation that doesn’t intrude - stuff like ‘hey pretty girl’ or a wink, or a ‘daaaamn’ - I’m fine with it

2. anything loud, in your face, demanding your attention - it’s harassment and should be stamped out

For me the point is not whether different women find it fun, flattering, harmless, embarrassing or degrading.

It is that men we don’t know consider it their place to comment on their judgment of our attractiveness or not.

They don’t know how it will be received. How dare they think they have the right to make a public display of their judgement of a woman’s body?

Only wanker men do this. Where is the excitement in being ‘phwoar-ed’ by idiots? Hardly flattering at all.

At its best, it's a total stranger feeling entitled to pass comment on a woman's appearance which is part of a culture of patriarchy that is outdated and offensive. At its worst, it's used to intimidate, humiliate and control. So never acceptable IMO and i dread my preteen daughter having to deal with this kind of thing, as I have vivid recollections of whistles, noises and comments made to me when I was a teenage girl that were absolutely abhorrent.

@7Worfs

I’ve found there’s two types of male street attention:

1. Polite exclamation that doesn’t intrude - stuff like ‘hey pretty girl’ or a wink, or a ‘daaaamn’ - I’m fine with it

2. anything loud, in your face, demanding your attention - it’s harassment and should be stamped out

I find the first intrusive tbh. But there is a friendly eye lock that’s even less intrusive and I have no problem with that. I’d be devastated if I thought my daughters were rethinking their outfit if they didn’t get whistled at. The male gaze is not a friendly thing to be courted.

I’d be devastated if I thought my daughters were rethinking their outfit if they didn’t get whistled at. it was a joke 🙄

The worst whistle scenario i found was from guys who were in a group.
Would whistle at you as you walked by and if you did not respond-to their "approval" whistles and lewd "comments" straight to vomitting sounds and unkind comments or simply
"Eww so who do you think YOU are then?"
Someone who refuses to be intimidated actually...
They always had to be in a group to behave like that though ... Wimps.

In my mid teens we actually went out with the sole intention of getting wolf whistles, we'd walk past the building sites deliberately or loiter by the bug roundabout in the hope of getting beeped at. It was a very long time ago and very different time now, but at the time, I'm sure both sides just saw it as a bit of fun, we certainly didn't think very deeply about it.

It's a stackable offence on building sites now, I really don't think it happens. I don't think my sons even know how.

Always hated them.

A guy on his own with a respectful little compliment as you passed each other followed by a smile was quite nice but could still feel a bit intrusive sometimes.

For me, degrading and infuriating. I am a human being, not a piece of meat. However, MIL finds it ego boosting but I think she is more insecure about her looks and needs confirmation from men that she is good looking. In the same breath she will comment that how girls dress nowadays (crop tops and shorts) no wonder they get raped I think she has some serious mental health issues.

I would never think to vocalise in any way that I found a passerby attractive. I'd keep it to myself. It's rude to comment on the appearance of others (paying a compliment to a friend is different eg I love your shoes or whatever) and some men think they are entitled to draw attention to themselves and women by passing comment, whistling or making gestures. Women aren't there to be gawped at and objectified and neither are men. Admire beauty but if it belongs to a stranger then keep quiet about it. My exH used to say I was "such a pretty little thing" It gave me the creeps.

Totally harmless