Wolf whistling harmless or degrading

[CambsAlways]

Having a conversation with a couple of friends, both in thirties, we got talking about men wolf whistling etc, though it doesn’t happen quite so much now, both my friends had dif view one would welcome being whistled at, the other horrified and disgusted what do you all think

I hate it. Men feeling that they can demand attention from women. My 16yo dd hates it too. She was out the other day with a friend, and 12 men wolf whistled/made comments to them.

I hate it. Men feeling that they can demand attention from women. My 16yo dd hates it too. She was out the other day with a friend, and 12 men wolf whistled/made comments to them.

It's not a compliment.

Men don't approach you and say how lovely your hair looks. Or how the colour of your dress really suits you.

Men don't approach you and say how lovely your hair looks. Or how the colour of your dress really suits you

If they did, would you take it as a compliment?

Intimidating, aggressive, intrusive, degrading.

If they did, would you take it as a compliment?

Certainly more than I would a whistle. And if they didn't act intrusive.

Misogynistic and vile. Theres not much from that to cat calling to groping. If you dont respond positively or at all the whilstler tends to resort to disgusting comments and insults. How dare they.

As an aside do they expect it to work?

As an aside do they expect it to work?

Do they expect what to work?

Doesn’t bother me personally as a practically middle aged mum (and tbf it rarely happens now ) but I really, really hated this as a teenager. I was shy and self conscious of my body and wasn’t ready for that sort of attention. I think it’s unacceptable these days which is as it should be. It’s hard to tell if a girl is 14 or 19 and no one should be perving over a child.

Degraded.

It makes me rember awful things. Then that makes me feel afraid, unsafe and shaken for a while. Only an hour or so, but still I detest it. Particularly when it's not just whistling, but comments. And also especially when I'm with my children.

I actually prefer the shouty, drunk, insane seeming types to the whistlers. They make me feel less like I'm about to be violated. I wish so much it didn't happen.

I think these things are very contextual. TBH, I never minded whistling or 'hello gorgeous' type comments, but then I never got them very often. I think when I was younger, being crop-haired and flat chested I didn't really register on the radar of the sort of man who makes comments to women all that much. I can imagine if I'd been a more conventionally feminine-looking woman, especially if I was very pretty, and got it all the time, I'd probably find it very oppressive and threatening.

Overall, no, men shouldn't do it, because it's treating women as there for their gratification and that they should be decorative.

I found it humiliating, embarrassing, degrading, everything negative already expressed.

Perhaps naively I thought it didnt happen so much anymore. I go past building sites all the time and am delighted when I dont hear a thing, such a refreshing change from how things were. I assumed it was because it is now recognised as sexual harassment. Reading that for other people it still happens, I realise I probably dont hear it anymore because I am too old to attract attention! Oh well, I'm sorry for you younger girls, but at least age has some benefits!

I think a lot of posters are kidding themselves, if they think they’re being wolf whistled at because they’re attractive. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re being wolf whistled at simply because you’re a young woman. It’s a man telling you that he has rights over your body, even if he doesn’t touch you. It’s as simple as that. Your attractiveness is actually neither here nor there.

As an aside do they expect it to work?

Making women uncomfortable? Yes, I expect they do.

@LillianBland

I think a lot of posters are kidding themselves, if they think they’re being wolf whistled at because they’re attractive. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re being wolf whistled at simply because you’re a young woman. It’s a man telling you that he has rights over your body, even if he doesn’t touch you. It’s as simple as that. Your attractiveness is actually neither here nor there.

Totally agree @LillianBland

Your attractiveness is actually neither here nor there.

Thank goodness for that. Given my lack of wolf whistles I was starting to worry

Harmless

I was 12 (early developer) when I was first wolf whistled at and it terrified me because I hated attention from adult strangers, it wasn't something I was accustomed to and I didn't know how I was supposed to respond. My fright and surprise was very obvious and the fuckers just laughed. The feeling of embarrassment and humiliation was awful. Some men seem to enjoy making women and girls feel small.

Polite exclamation that doesn’t intrude - stuff like ‘hey pretty girl’ or a wink, or a ‘daaaamn’ - I’m fine with it

That's not polite - it's said to put you in your place and remind you that your body is not your own.

Embarrassing at best, intimidating at worst.

Absolutely agree LillianBland

Odd that once I was older and more importantly more confident I thankfully rarely got this sort of attention