What do we know about unicorns?

[Mysterian]

I'm sure I remember hearing about then being able to teleport, and I've heard about them granting wishes. Can we use this thread to collate all the unicorn facts please. This might be vital information one day.

1. They are quite vain. The pair with the Ark tickets spent so long looking at their reflections in the water that they missed the boat with Noah.

A lovely and very knowledgeable five year old girl once informed me that the creatures that have both a horn and wings are called allocorns. Apparently, a horse with a horn is an unicorn and a horse with wings is Pegasus.

They definitely shit rainbows. I have a mug that says so. Have I been given a lie?

They are extinct now unfortunately

Seems the unicorn shitting rainbows is fact!

Trying to post image again!

oops!

They’re our national animal because the unicorn is the lion’s (England) mortal enemy and is undefeateable!

It's pretty hard to beat something that doesn't exist (they actually do exist but throw a glamour to make everyone think they're normal horses. Especially lions who are usually a bit fick).

@Mysterian

That's not unicorn spraint. That's something to do with one of Mr Whippy's hang overs.

How about this video evidence?

National Unicorn Day is on the 9th April.

They like to live in flower strewn meadows.

Unicorn ice cream tastes nothing like unicorns. Fact.

@Mysterian

I would posit that that method of fart-harvesting is borderline cruelty.

Luckily, those weren't real unicorns, so I would also posit that that product is a scam.

There are herds (flocks?) of them on the sunlit uplands after Brexit

They like virgins - in some stories only virgins can ride them

Sounds like that one was thought up by Freud..

I ask for one every Christmas but bastard DH never comes through

A unicorn blessed with a pair of horns is, in fact, called a twonicorn.

Prosecco

LTB

The virgin thing is Medieval.

They realised only virgins could catch them in the forest.

But get this...they used to get narwhal horns and try to pass them off as unicorn horns. Pah! I wouldn't be fooled!

A unicorn blessed with a pair of horns is, in fact, called a twonicorn

Oh that’s a prettier name than rhinoceros, as they’re known round here.

I would have guessed bicorn, or duocorn.

THEY DON'T HAVE WINGS. And I think the stupid name for a beast with wings AND a horn is just somebody making shit up to cover for the fact that they didn't realise THEY DON'T HAVE WINGS.

there is a type of female who likes both sexes and has relationships as a three-some called a "unicorn".

@Griefmonster

THEY DON'T HAVE WINGS. And I think the stupid name for a beast with wings AND a horn is just somebody making shit up to cover for the fact that they didn't realise THEY DON'T HAVE WINGS.

Well surely it depends on who's the Mama and who's the Daddy? So Daddy got the horn, Unigaus Mama got the horn Pegacorn

But I assume their offsprings are infertile, like the Ass

I feel the need to watch the movie with Tom Cruise and the demon dude again

*Well surely it depends on who's the Mama and who's the Daddy?
So Daddy got the horn, Unigaus
Mama got the horn Pegacorn

But I assume their offsprings are infertile, like the Ass*

WOW. Just, WOW.

Seriously hoping you're not involved with any actual unicorn husbandry.