AD's say "well open the playgrounds and swimming pools then you Malaka"

[Ibake]

New thread!

nothingiswring in your shoes I’d be mentally moving me and the children on. Constant criticism grinds you down to the point you doubt your ability to do anything - even the most mundane. Please do consider contacting women’s aid one day - what you’re able to articulate today might only be the tip of the iceberg and you’ve normalised everything else.

FWIW I never loaded the dishwasher properly either. Amazing really these days I put the stuff in (my way), pop the tablet in and turn it in just before I go to bed. Despite my way being WRONG it’s still all clean in the morning! 😁

[quote NothingIsWrong]@Littlebelina he has form. I've stopped doing a lot of things round the house as he just redoes then to his standards. Like the dishwasher. Every day he reloads it after I've done it. Except when I don't do it, he complains that I've not done it. But if he only ever reloads it because my effort is not good enough, why would I bother. Ditto folding clothes, cooking, shopping etc. So he does more and more as I fail to see the point in doing anything only to have it redone, and he gets crossed that I don't do anything and doesn't get that it's because he always redoes it.[/quote]
That's enough to grind anyone down without a purtitanical pandemic.
Please get some help.
Then evaluate your options with the husband.

You're more than good enough for us

It's more that doing it his way fits more in and therefore we have to run it less and it's better for the environment.

And with clothes - they way he folds them fits in the drawers better.

Generally he is right. But then just expects me to fall in line with his way and I forget a lot of the time.

I'm messy and complicated and I'm sure he finds me very frustrating and hard to live with. He likes a smooth uncomplicated minimal life and I don't. 20 years we've been together. I can't support the children on my own and he would never move out.

@NothingIsWrong sending that sounds exhausting.

@Allflightscancelled yep I'm there on dry July, started Monday! So far so good....

I made the mistake of venturing out of here to find a teacher seriously advocating that they liked the look of a picture of a classroom in China where all kids are wearing visors AND their desks are surrounded by perspex and that if we all want our kids back at school it's that or nothing. I didn't realise ebola's circulating.... Man that has really pissed me off for the day now.

@Dowser thanks for the heads up, I'll get on it. Leicester does seem to be the get out of jail free card the dementors are jumping on

Morning all. @nothingiswrong am worried about you, think we probably all are on here. However, I am very glad you keep telling us that you're not ok, that's the first step. Do you have anyone IRL? We're an amazing bunch on here but none of us can sit with our arms around you and listen face to face. Please think about calling the docs. Fwiw I think you sound like a fab mum xx

I have good friends IRL. I'm messaging one and I've told her how I feel. GP next step.

@ilovetotoro. Haven't lost any friends as such, although an awful lot of people are having a lot of 30day naps on FB! With some I have decided their long standing friendship is more important even though I disagree with them. Fear is a strange bedfellow and makes people do odd things. For some reason fear has got out of hand with a lot of people who have no reason at all to be scared. Luckily for me I have also got some very rational friends so those are the ones I engage with more atm. (And here of course!)

@NothingIsWrong

I have good friends IRL. I'm messaging one and I've told her how I feel. GP next step.

Good. I'm glad. We women would be nothing without our girlfriends.

@NothingIsWrong

I have good friends IRL. I'm messaging one and I've told her how I feel. GP next step.

Good plan!

I've started a thread (kick up the gluemus maximus) for anything health related. I'd clutter in here too much with my ramblings on that theme. Open invitation if anyone wants to join me there.

I really do need to get into gear to run now

@Ibake I deleted Facebook altogether! Too much mad dementoring.

I ran yesterday. 8.6km. I had forgotten how much it helps. I'd got out of the habit but I must make more of an effort. I will join you.

On a positive note there is a very non-dementory thread about playgrounds. The tide is definitely turning 🤞🏻

I've worked all the way through this whole pandemic; from the panic buying, imposition of rationing, social distancing and screens being installed etc, so the "new normal now"(bloody hate that term) has been a gradual change for me.
Next week we have someone coming back to work who's been shielding for over 3 months, not been out, not seen anyone apart from her daughter and son in law. It'll be very interesting to see how it affects her when she's back; hopefully she'll be ok but I do worry about her.
One of the women I work with had to self isolate right at the beginning of lockdown and when she returned the shut shops, absence of cars and people, the whole "ghost town" aspect of everything really freaked her out.
There's a lot of anxiety at work re the whole situation (I'm fine, definitely a get on with it mentality) and I seriously think a lot of people are never going to get back to how they were before.

nothingiswrong I'm glad you have good friends to talk to. I just want to put this out here and then I promise I'll zip it. He's being abusive and gaslighting you re: the dishwasher... and he's dressing it up as he's not a bad guy who's trying to make you feel like shit and put you in your place... he just cares more about the polar bears than you.

@NothingIsWrong sounds like the GP is a good idea and a run. I know how you feel: I too am messy and complicated and partner not, but (luckily!) I don't live with him. I'm glad you have friends to speak to you, hope today goes ok 💐

I'm not going to try to do dry July but to cut down. And I've restarted some fitness and trying to stop guzzling and eat healthily.

@InsaneInTheViralMembrane please never mention Marlboro again 😂😂 I gave up about twenty years ago, had a blip when XH was a shit but boy could I go a fag now...

Re: losing friends, as a PP said you now know who your friends are at least.

@NothingIsWrong look after yourself. I know what you mean about the driving far, far away (except I can't actually drive but....) and it seems like a very sensible and not at all irrational response. You're being squashed and squashed and squashed, we all are. I think sometimes we feel like we must be wrong - or there's something abnormal about feeling like this - and it's not, the weird response would be to NOT feel like this. Getting help with making it liveable-with is different.

I have ( had) a friend who is young, fit and healthy, but hasn't left the house since a week before lockdown, other than for a walk. She had a Tesco pass so all shopping delivered by that.
She won't go for a walk with her child's friend and his mother as "there's a risk because her husband is working"
He works for the AA. The members of thd public he sees are literally enclosed in sheet steel and glass.
Won't go to the shops "why risk it when I don't need anything?"
Won't take here chd to any attraction that's open "it'll be too crowded, the monkeys might damage my car at Longleat".
Won't sit in my 150m long garden with side access and an outside loo, as I have been working (at two food factories )
But has announced she has purchased Magic Masks Of Immunity, so she can go to Cyprus in August!!

Why is Dr hilary such a miserable dementoring twat? Poor Lorraine is like ooh is this good news nearly every single day and he's like NO

Pisssss offffffff

[quote Dowser]@Paradiseinportugal
Have you been to Rhoose airport?
There’s not a whole lot of catchment area around it.
Llantwit Major, and a few other villages..certainly the 5 mile rule would rule out most of Barry and definitely Cardiff
Nope, llantwit would be out of the running, but surprisingly my cousin on the port road just squeezes in at 4.8 miles

Another absolute bat hit idea.[/quote]
@Dowser
Yes, I know the airport well, born and bred Caaaardiff girl here. I remember when it changed from Rhoose airport to Cardiff International Airport. Didn't make the area more populated though!
I think that the Airport is owned by the Welsh Assembly now so double shot in the foot.

I’ll join in with the running. Just about to go now although I think it might be a short one, my ankle isn’t quite right yet. But it might feel better once I get going 🤞

Feeling really lost again today, mostly careers wise - I’ve been a SAHM for four years but now the time is coming for me to get a job again. But I have no idea what I want to do and zero confidence. And that’s without all this thisness that’s going on. So feeling a bit in need of a run to get my mood back up.

My fitness pal fired up and ready to go. I weighed myself and I'm only 3lb over ore-lockfiwn but it's all on my belly which is big enough when I'm happier with it.

Turning the metrocentre into flats for "the poor people" (remembering the north east habit of putting a "the" in front of anyone you're othering. It's usually "the disabled children" and I have to stop myself from being too unkind) would make a change from student accommodation, which is partly what a bankrupt shopping mall in Durham became.

In good news, average weekly deaths in Newcastle are below the seasonal average.

www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/newcastle-covid-leicester-lockdown-deaths-18517085#ICID=Android_ChronicleNewsApp_AppShare

Morning all! Thanks to those who've let me know they're doing dry July. Here we go, we've got this!
NothingisWrong I'll add my voice to those who think your DH is behaving like a gaslighting twat. You don't need that and your mood will never improve while you've got that going on next to you all day every day. You deserve much much more, and of all the things we could feel bad about ourselves for, loading (or not loading) the dishwasher should definitely NOT be on the list. Find a way to put him back in his box and let yourself fly free.

I've had a late start today so I haven't seen or read any news. I'm going in now. Girding my loins, especially as we're nearish to Leicester. We've already come up with a plan to do a flit at the first whisper of locking down our town again.

@InsaneInTheViralMembrane

bigrollBOGOFF we ditched the pishy worksheets early in and have concentrated on:

1. spelling bee style wankbadger/shit wizard/fucker mcfuckerton

2. counting cards in blackjack

3. enjoying zombie shows

I did get them to engage with school one chirpy Monday morning and my youngest had to write a note of what he did at the weekend. He wrote we’d done our click and collect and the man was trying to look like a lady but he knew it was a man because it was “not a girl’s voice”. 😂😳 teacher didn’t comment.

magda the cigs are my struggle. I’d rather have a Marlboro than a vat of gin. I knocked them on the head back in jan with this thing heading our way, but they’ve crept back in the last month of ennui. There’s also that glorious five minutes p&q in the garden on your own. Today marks giving up attempt three million and six.

Same here re the fags. Gave up in November, doing well with a vape, all good there. Family death on Christmas day, another family death in February, work friend died in March, another death of a family member in March as well, (none covid related, mostly because they were old and ill). We started buying one packet a week on a Wednesday but when they're gone that's it. However, visiting friends who smoke and I don't have to be persuaded to have one of theirs. I must stop it. But, on the bright side I don't drink so that's ok, isn't it? Mind you, I'm tempted to start!