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Original poster

Objecting to a wedding

38 replies

FuckKnowsMate · 30/06/2020 13:26

Just idle curiosity, has anyone ever been to a wedding where somebody stood up and objected to the wedding vows for one reason or another? I've only ever seen it happen on dramatic soaps!

OP posts:
IDontLikeZombies · 30/06/2020 13:50

No, I haven't. I'd always imagined it would be to do with bigamy. I think with the rise of cohabitation there is less need for bigamist marriages. I actually know a fair few folk involved in the 'secret family' thing so if being married was still an unbreakable prerequisite for living together I imagine I would have been at a few 'Stop the wedding' episodes.

110APiccadilly · 30/06/2020 14:00

I think it would be very hard to commit bigamy nowadays anyway. When you apply to get married, they look you and your prospective spouse up, don't they? I'm sure they did when I got married. So they'd see if you were already married. I think they'd also see if you were too closely related.

I suppose in theory if you knew something about one of the spouses' parentage (adoption, or that their father wasn't who everyone thought) which made them related, you'd need to speak up then. But I assume in reality you'd let the no longer happy couple know ahead of the ceremony?

Original poster
FuckKnowsMate · 30/06/2020 14:07

Yeah you would hope the couple would be informed before the wedding!

I was thinking more along the lines of a scorned affair partner turning up on the day to object out of spite! That tells you how much rubbish soap tv I've watched, but wondered if it ever really happens in real life like that! Confused Grin

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Weddings
morethanafortnight · 30/06/2020 14:13

Yes, but only as a 'joke' that backfired somewhat, and the registrar was absolutely livid and threw him out. The wedding then continued unhindered.

SparkyBlue · 30/06/2020 14:16

I've never heard of it in real life. I'd imagine in real life unless you were stopping the wedding claiming that one of the parties was already married or using a false identity then you'd have no legal standing to try stop a wedding. My own mother reckons that tons of marriages of her generation and before were possibly bigamous as back then (here in Ireland) there was zero checks done and you didn't have to register anything with the civil register. You just made arrangements with a priest and got married and the church registered your wedding. No cross checking or form filling.

NooneElseIsSingingMySong · 30/06/2020 14:22

Not a proper one! But we were at a family wedding when DD was three, when the registrar asked the question DD said at the top of her voice I WILL NOT BE QUIET ANY MORE! Grin everyone laughed and then they carried on.

Fluffythefish · 30/06/2020 14:39

I once had to prepare for a real threat of someone maliciously objecting. You HAVE to take it seriously and stop the wedding (not if you can totally tell if it is a joke but even so I might just to be sure). So we were primed with someone ready to take bride to one space, groom to another, organist to play and me to talk to the objector, reminding them that this was a criminal offence as due notice had already been given - the question is only for show now. The person didn't come and I don't think the bride knew anything about it. I'm not going to say why as I don't want it to be identifiable to her. I was so, so relieved when we got to that bit. And I always suggest that couples go for the "Due notice of the intention of bride and groom to be married has been given and no objection has been made." rather than the dramatic pause, just in case!

Ellmau · 30/06/2020 14:47

back then (here in Ireland) there was zero checks done and you didn't have to register anything with the civil register. You just made arrangements with a priest and got married and the church registered your wedding. No cross checking or form filling.

I thought with Catholic weddings you had to provide proof of baptism and that Catholic baptism registers were updated with marriages?

Etinox · 30/06/2020 14:53

@Ellmau

back then (here in Ireland) there was zero checks done and you didn't have to register anything with the civil register. You just made arrangements with a priest and got married and the church registered your wedding. No cross checking or form filling.

I thought with Catholic weddings you had to provide proof of baptism and that Catholic baptism registers were updated with marriages?

I had to get a letter of freedom from every parish I'd lived in!
TowelHoarder · 30/06/2020 14:54

No, I’ve never seen it done but I’ve been to a wedding where I was desperately hoping it would because I (and most of the other guests) can’t stand the bride. It wasn’t to be though!

PhoneLock · 30/06/2020 15:03

You just made arrangements with a priest and got married and the church registered your wedding. No cross checking or form filling

I'm pretty sure that is what we did here in the UK. We were members of the church though, so that may have made a difference.

Sunnydayshereatlast · 30/06/2020 15:14

Vicar of Dibley when she dreams of Sean Bean gatecrashing her big day!
Priceless!

SionnachGlic · 30/06/2020 15:20

Not me...but at a friend's family wedding a longtime past ex (from a gap year abroad abt 6 yrs earlier) appeared with a child thinking she was announcing his child to the world. Luckily the bride, groom & his immed family knew...rest of place, incl extended family, was agog & some commotion to get the ex to leave & then proceedings continued. He said (friend) it wss the best wedding ever... altho bride was a bit annoyed!

BarbedBloom · 30/06/2020 15:31

Well at my wedding when the registrar asked, my friend's little boy shouted, 'no' at the top of his voice, which was very funny

Seriouslyconfused3 · 30/06/2020 15:50

I knew a (proper arse) of a man who planned to stop someone’s wedding before on the basis that he was in love with the bride- but thankfully he bottled it before the big day!

FrauFarbissina · 30/06/2020 15:56

@morethanafortnight

Yes, but only as a 'joke' that backfired somewhat, and the registrar was absolutely livid and threw him out. The wedding then continued unhindered.

What did the person actually say and did the bride and groom say anything, did he come to the reception?

tara66 · 30/06/2020 16:04

Only in Jane Eyre.

Zhampagne · 30/06/2020 16:04

The question isn't there so that anyone else who is in love with the bridge or groom can speak up. It's to stop either one of them entering into an unlawful marriage, e.g. bigamy.

AnnieMaul · 30/06/2020 16:06

I work in the wedding industry so have attended 300+ weddings now and i've never seen an objection. Well aside from a well timed scream or gargle from a baby/toddler Grin

The closest i've ever seen was a mother in law who made it very clear that she hated her sons choice of wife.

She snarled and tutted and rolled her eyes at every opportunity and sat amongst her own little friendship group talking loudly and obnoxiously all day so that anyone in ear shot could hear. This was before, during and after the ceremony.

She didn't attend the dinner or the speeches and went and sat on her own in her room instead, then came back and started being mean again in the evening.

Couple either didn't notice (impossible I think) or just didn't give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her behaviour.

As far as I know, they're still together- that was about 6 years ago now!

Kapalika · 30/06/2020 17:00

I used to work for a vicar and loved asking these type of questions. In 25 years he had never had it happen, although there was a threat of it once happening. He told me how bloody serious it is. I mean that’s it, wedding over, bride and groom separated and questioned etc. As it’s a legal ceremony. I was quite surprised tbh, only seen it on television.

Georgielovespie · 30/06/2020 17:20

We had a truly lovely priest who had a wicked sense of humour. We had 3 ushers from Dh's university days (still all friends today) and when they said does anyone know of any just cause, for a laugh our ushers all looked at each other and then pretended they were going to stand, nodding at each other but didn't actually move.

We are facing the priest and he says, there are 3 people standing up. The congregation all looked round and then laughed but we were really worried that our three ushers had actually stood. They shit themselves thinking we would believe they were stood up and Dh would kill them Grin

Dh and I both turned to see if they had stood and looked directly at them! They were mortified but it was a great day and just added to it. Sadly my priest died but I still remember him very fondly for that joke.

I have only ever seen weddings stopped on TV too OP.

Elderflower14 · 30/06/2020 17:25

When the banns were being read at church for our wedding (I was on my own DH to be was working!) As the vicar asked if anyone knew any reason etc etc the church warden coughed really loudly behind me and made me jump out of my skin!! 🤣 🤣 🤣

Original poster
FuckKnowsMate · 30/06/2020 17:28

Ha! Some of these are funny @Georgielovespie your priest sounds like he was a good laugh!

I didn’t realise how serious it was to object but of course it makes sense with it being a legal Ceremony!

OP posts:
Bridehorror · 30/06/2020 17:34

I've just name changed as didn't want it linked. But I was at a wedding with a very obviously pregnant bride, they were having the service and just before the lawful impediment bit the police and immigration officers burst in and arrested the groom for immigration offences. Whole wedding was canceled and we went to the small reception afterwards and all the guests got very drunk. Bride waited in police station in her dress for groom. They got married about three months later and then he left her about a week after the wedding. He seemed to think that a wedding certificate meant he wouldn't be deported but he did in the end. Bride now has a gorgeous 10 year old but hasn't seen the groom since he walked out after the wedding.

Georgielovespie · 30/06/2020 17:38

@FuckKnowsMate he was fab, we didn't attend church at all, it wasn't the faith I was raised in either but he was all very laid back about it, he knew I had been put off church forever by being raised Catholic. I always show my children that clip in Sister Act where they sing the song two ways, the serious Catholic way and then the celebration style way with clapping. That was the church I wanted. His was similar, welcoming, happy, celebratory.

His church was also beautiful, local to my parents and where I was born and raised. We had a meeting with him and his two labrador dogs, had a massive chat and about a year later got married there. I told him the person doing the reading looked a bit like him so he could spot him, he said so I am looking for the most handsome man in the room then Grin