What age do you think is too old to have a baby?

[BabyLlamaZen]

I've seen a few threads related to this. What would you say is the cut off age for a woman specifically to be pregnant and have a baby? Or is there no cut of age - is it ok to have children in your 60s if medical advancement allows it?

This is such a tricky thing. I personally feel 45 maximum for actively trying, including medical help to do this.

My reasons I suppose are personal. Best friend was a surprise baby (parents aged 40 and 42). Reasonably healthy people but both no longer around. I know this is also unlucky that they both got cancer in their 70s, but also really not that strange. She's 30 and luckily had her children in her 20s so they got to meet them. She was so so worried about them being around for them, so it's it's that she almost knew. (She was also lucky meeting her husband early!)

My parents were mid 30s but I also lost one. Again, I know this can happen at any age, but it defintely increases chances as you get older. It was so painful to my siblings and I. I could never say to my remaining parent, but it's one of the reasons I had my son at 29.

I get that it's difficult having children young in current climates with finding a decent relationship, having a good job and the whole unaffordability of housing, but that's why people are having them mid 30s. Not mid 40s!

However, I know this may sound very unfair to those who have for whatever reason not been able to have children earlier. So really interested to see different views :)

Personally, I wouldn't go over 45 to have a child. Most of my friends had babies in their 30's and early 40's, the oldest was a surprise baby at 47. She's found it harder than with her older children, although she certainly doesn't regret it.

I also know some older Dad's who had children in their 50's and it's been hard for them as well (obviously their partners were younger), because retirement or even cutting down abit on work is years away.

The older Dads I know are now in their 60's and look knackered, tbh, even though they make an effort to keep fit. I know my DH wouldn't want to have a late baby...which is why he had a vasectomy!

30 was the cut off for me but had my first at 21 so wanted to have done independence back as I got older. My dm was 35 when she had me and I thought that was old.

I definitely think how much you want children/ how maternal you feel is a big factor. I was never broody at all and honestly it's surprised me a bit how much I love being a mum now. I guess because I was always looking at other families and other kids and thinking no thanks, forgetting that I don't have to follow the same script.

Peer group is also an influence for sure. Among my close friends, youngest to have a baby was 30 and I am the last but only by 2 years. Two of my best friends are child free by choice. So for a long time we all had each other to hang out with and conversations about kids were about IF you wanted them not when.

It’s not about money it's about emotional maturity and the stability of the parent's relationship. Both of which are likely to be greater post 25

Oh I see, when you said if you can afford it I assumed you were talking about finances.

shine I honestly don't mind having a teenager in my 60s - I think that whatever age you have your children the teenage years will be a challenge . I think I am much more relaxed and at a 'stable' point in my life ... I often read the threads on here when parents are struggling with the demands of juggling childcare, career, relationships, money problems and feel that having a child at 43 (& sticking to one) was the right choice for my family.

And both my DPs are alive & well in their late 80s & my teenage DS has a great relationship with them. So much is down to health, my DPs are fitter & more active than many couples in their 60s.

I think really it’s up to the woman and if she can conceive or not. Personal choice.

For me I wanted to start a family by 24 and be done by 35. Always knew that, always geared up towards that.

Unfortunately I’ve recently turned 36 and haven’t had any takers. I don’t agree with going down the donor route. I may adopt as a single person but then that is very different and shouldn’t be suggested flippantly to anyone.

I’m genuinely heartbroken I’ve not had kids by now. I didn’t want to be an older mother. My mother spoke to me today about freezing my eggs and I said that I don’t feel it would be fair to bring children into the world in my mid-40s. 40 was previously my cut off...I might push it to 42 but I think I need to accept that I may just not get the chance rather than keep hoping for babies in my 40s. I want what’s best for future children and if that means not having them then maybe that’s the kindest thing to do.

I’d love it I could somehow fit two in before 40 but that’s living in dream land. I’ve been single for many years!

I felt too old to have a baby when I had my third at 33, not because I was remotely old but because I felt so much older and more tired than when I had the first two in my twenties. Bu of course that is not "too old".

I suppose menopause? It's so subjective. There probably isn't really an age anyone can say yes, that's it, this is the birthday on which you officially become Too Old to have a baby.

I think about 38 would be my personal cut off, but I had DD at 25 so I’m lucky to have time on my side. I think generally 45+ is pushing it.

For me personally, 30, I'm 29 this year and currently pregnant with my third and last baby. I wanted all my children before I was 30.

I had three before 30 and that worked out ok. I have friends now we are heading to forty having their first or have very young children and I just couldn't do that now knowing how much effort kids are for year and years it's not just getting through pregnancy and baby ages. Tweens plus can be a major pain and effort too. I'd hate to deal.with taht in my fifties. But I certainly don't judge anyone having children older. My view is just based on my personal experience and everyone is different.

I think it's very personal. I always wanted to have my kids by 35. and I just did

Being late 30's I'd say 45 would be a sensible cut off. But what if you dont meet that person till your 40's?

Interesting. We all do what’s right for us in the end and babies don’t always come on demand.

Personally I did want to be done by 40, it was a personal cut-off for me. My youngest just squeezed in before my big birthday so I was very lucky. Who knows if we’d have kept trying beyond that? I wasn’t challenged by fertility so I can’t answer. I certainly know people who have struggled and just kept on going until their baby arrived.

Personally, I feel very different depending on which school gate I’m standing at! With my eldest, I feel like one of the youngest mums, having had that child at 31. With my youngest (at 39), I definitely feel older than most of the mums!

I also wonder if there is a link between age and premature birth/difficult birth. Does anybody know? Only asking out of curiosity. My aunty had her first baby at 43, got pregnant really quickly but baby was quite premature (3lb from memory) and needed a crash c-section under GA due to being breech.

I believe you’re more likely to have a low birth weight baby in your teens? I’m happy to be told I’m wrong though

All the premature babies I’ve come across were born to teenage or very early 20s mothers. I’ve known quite a few mothers over 40 who were allowed to go quite far over their due date, but I think they induce earlier now that they used to. As a child my best friend’s mother had a baby at 40 and she went 3.5 weeks over her due date . He was huge! My friend has just had a surprise baby at 40 and had to be induced and my colleague the same in her late 30s.
So I’m wondering if it could be the other way round? My cousin was 19 when her son was born at 24 weeks (he is now healthy, 6ft tall and bearded 😁).

I had one at 42 and I won’t be having any more. I’m not an especially fit 42 granted but I feel tired and my body aches all over from chasing babies and toddlers all day.

If it had worked out differently for me I would have had them around 30/32 and have 10+ yos now which I think would be a happier balance.

However in 40s got pregnant no issues and had smooth sailing pregnancies and births etc.

I had my preemies at 24 and 28.

I had my 4th and final at 41...I’m now 44 and don’t feel too old to have another one (I won’t though because 4 is more than enough!). In my head I would say 45 would have been my limit. I do, however know a few women (and more than a few men) who have had their 3, 4th or 5th In their late 40s...

I think it is so personal and my ideals for myself would change based on my circumstances. I was lucky enough to meet dh in my 20s and had my first two dc before I was 30. I knew I wanted more dc but didn't want to be any older than 35 because of health risks. I had my 3rd at 34 and would love another but I feel that he has such an older dm than my eldest dc (I don't think 34 is old but in comparison I mean).

However had I not met the father of my dc until I was older, I would have had a dc up until the age of about 43. For me, 45+ isn't ideal. But I genuinely don't judge anyone else.

I'd go with 45 too. We don't all meet someone in our 20s, or necessarily feel broody...or there may be issues around conception.

FWIW I didn’t have a worse pregnancy or births/recoveries at 40/41 with dc4 than I did with any of my others. I had dc1 at 33...

For me its probably not wanting a big age gap. I had my kids in my 20s was a single parent at 28. My kids are now late teens,I'm mid 40s and am very much on to the next stage of my life.I couldn't imagine having small kids now. But if I'd started later it would be different.

I had my 1st at 33 them my 2nd at 42 I had lost 8 babies in between . I'm now 46 with a 13 and 3 year old , I have plenty of energy but could go back to the baby stage now

Couldn't not could

Post menopause