What age do you think is too old to have a baby?

[BabyLlamaZen]

I've seen a few threads related to this. What would you say is the cut off age for a woman specifically to be pregnant and have a baby? Or is there no cut of age - is it ok to have children in your 60s if medical advancement allows it?

This is such a tricky thing. I personally feel 45 maximum for actively trying, including medical help to do this.

My reasons I suppose are personal. Best friend was a surprise baby (parents aged 40 and 42). Reasonably healthy people but both no longer around. I know this is also unlucky that they both got cancer in their 70s, but also really not that strange. She's 30 and luckily had her children in her 20s so they got to meet them. She was so so worried about them being around for them, so it's it's that she almost knew. (She was also lucky meeting her husband early!)

My parents were mid 30s but I also lost one. Again, I know this can happen at any age, but it defintely increases chances as you get older. It was so painful to my siblings and I. I could never say to my remaining parent, but it's one of the reasons I had my son at 29.

I get that it's difficult having children young in current climates with finding a decent relationship, having a good job and the whole unaffordability of housing, but that's why people are having them mid 30s. Not mid 40s!

However, I know this may sound very unfair to those who have for whatever reason not been able to have children earlier. So really interested to see different views :)

It's a personal thing. I had my only DC at age 22. Not a chance in hell would I have a baby in my 40s when DS is an adult.

Lots of women have babies in their 40s though and that's what is right for them. I don't think anything of it.

It depends a lot on how fit and healthy you are and also what support network you have but I suppose I would raise my eyebrows at anyone over 50 having a baby

Personally Ive had no interest in having a baby since my early 30s but that's because my family was complete and I imagine I'd feel different if I was childless

I'm due my first in a few weeks and I'm 21, I only want two children so my 'cut off' really would be 25 ish. But if I wasn't having my first so young it would probably be around 30/35

No one is mentioning over 50 which is interesting (at least for women!)

I agree class divide.

Age gaps are probably relevant here, because I guess a lot of women who have their first relatively young wouldn't want to start again at a later stage in life.. I know one or two women who have very big age gaps but I think it's rare.

"No one is mentioning over 50 which is interesting (at least for women!) "

Why is it interesting?! It's normal surely, biologically it's very difficult and unusual for a woman aged 50+ to have a child.

35 would be my absolute max. Not because I think that's old but because I don't want children living at home when I'm 60.

I personally wanted to be done by 30 but for others I would think 37 ish.

I think this depends on your age now, if you want kids or have kids, how old your kids are etc.

I am 28 and have a 10 year old. So for me, I couldnt think if anything worse than going back to sleepless nights and changing nappies.

Alot of people aren't even thinking of having kids at 28 because its young.

My mum was a grandparent in her late 30s, (she got married and had me in her early 20s) so to me, your late 30s is late to be having kids.

Other people don't meet their partner or there is infertility problems, they choose to have kids at that age or a whole host of other reasons why people decide to be parents at that age. Its right for them.

It's not age. It's lifestyle. Some people wait, some people don't. Some people want other things.

50 probably is too old but many people are 45 and have no problems. What's 5 years? I don't think there is a right answer.

I'm 33 and I'm done. I want quality of life on the other side. I have one.

My sister is about to have a baby, she's 41 and was already talking about a other. She has a new partner, whose younger so they really have to get on with it if they want more than one. She started at 26. I had my first at 27 (nearly 28) and second at 31. I feel good that if I ever wanted another, I'd still have a bit of time left. However, I would probably have every prenatal test in existence

I think in general 40 - 45. But it depends on how you feel I guess. For me 30 would have been the last age I would have wanted to but I think it has something to do with my parents being older parents. They were old fashioned in their thinking especially my father which impacted upon us. But now I am glad regardless that I had a child at 19.im mid 40s now and still managed to get a degree and do stuff I wanted.

I’m 35 and trying for a baby. My DH is 55.

I think under 28 is a bit too young to establish own life,career and independence and over 38 a bit too late. That's my own personal opinion.

I always said 40. I had my surprise third at 39 which worked out well in that regard. DC3 is 3 now.

I have friends with a similar age to the third now who range from early 30s to almost 50. Anecdotally in terms of tiredness it doesn't appear to differ that much, everyone is pretty exhausted, especially at the moment!

IMO it's fine having little ones late but I always think about not being around to see their children. Of course you can never guarantee but my parents died relatively young and it's a real shame my children don't have that grandparent relationship.

I had dc already when Iet dh. I had a dc at 43.2..youngest was 6.. No regrets. Always think I was lucky to have a Bonus Baby!!
Dh was 33.
I had dc in my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's!!
Maybe a record?
State of mind and the relationship with the df is more important than age imo.

I had a baby at 43. Bit old I suppose but it was my 2nd baby.
No age limit but I'd have said 46 or thereabouts. I think 50 is probably too old.
I'm now 48 with a 5 year old and it's bloody hard work.

It's such a personal decision that there is no right or wrong, I can't imagine having a child in my 20s or 30s ... I was enjoying my work (not a high flying career ), my hobbies etc. I was ready at 42 and financially it was a much better decision for us and I knew I only wanted one child.
Parents can die at any age so I don't think that's a particularly good reason to base your decision on. I am over 60 now & both my parents are alive and well.

Off topic but I loathe the expression In wanted to get it done' or 'out of the way' when talking about having children, makes it sound as if it's just something on your to-do list. .

Mondeo wait till your 62 with a 19 year old .

39 was my cut off.

Personally I wouldn't consider a baby after 35. I'm 32 now with 2 DC, and pretty sure we're done anyway, but I wouldn't want to be in my 40's and dealing with preschoolers again... Instead I'll be tackling teens! But looking forward to the years the otherside of that, when I'll still be relatively "young" (late 40's onwards) and hopefully able to get some "me time" back, and be around to see my grown up children finding their way in the world.

@UnicornW I must take exception to your post. I had children at 41 and 43, simply because I did not meet my husband until I was 39. My sister had hers at 45, a friend at 46, two others at 41. Several other mums at the school are also now closer to 60 than 50. All conceived naturally. None of us are fobbing our kids off. All of us do 'fun things' with our kids (or did, they are all teenagers now and not so interested). None of us look like grandmothers either!
But to answer you, OP, I think it's fine as long as you can do so naturally. I'm not talking about women who have fertility issues other than age. But if you are over 42 and need medical intervention to have a child, then I think nature is telling you it's time to stop trying.
A good friend of my mother, a devout catholic, got married at 17 and went on to have nine kids. She was still getting pregnant well into her late 40s. But her last three pregnancies ended in miscarriage. She was basically too old.

I had my first last year at 26. Two of my friends have children but the rest don't. At my age it's quite rare - out of 120 in my school year, I think only 8 or so have children.

I think a few of my friends look at me with pity sometimes 😄 in a caring way! They clearly think I'm nuts to settle down so 'early'. I'm not sure if I will have another, I go back and forth on it, if I do it will definitely be before I am 30.

Personally I think anybody who chooses to have their first baby at 35+ is mad. By 'choosing' I mean people that have been in a position to have a baby for years, but have prioritised work/holidays etc.

You're essentially setting your child up for a life of caring responsibilities as soon as they hit their 40s. People that start families very late (40+) tend to only have the one, so they will have to cope with elderly parents on their own.

Obviously none of the above applies to people that didnt meet their other half until later in life, have been through IVF etc.

Everyone's different. I'm 35 and pregnant with my second. I wish I'd been able to do it earlier. I feel like it's a tall order now. Children are exhausting

I think it's highly personal tbh, you can only say what's right for you.
I'm pregnant with my first at 29. I would have been happy to start a couple of years earlier if we'd been ready (jobs, house, marriage etc). I always said I wanted a baby before I was 30, and personally I'd like to be finished by mid-late 30s.
Over 40 I'd be so worried about what could go wrong, and the increased likelihood of not being around as they grew up.
DHs parents were older (his mum 44/45 when she had him, 47? for sil) and he's already lost his dad. His mum is great, but late 60s and unlikely to be a super hands-on grandparent.