What age do you think is too old to have a baby?

[BabyLlamaZen]

I've seen a few threads related to this. What would you say is the cut off age for a woman specifically to be pregnant and have a baby? Or is there no cut of age - is it ok to have children in your 60s if medical advancement allows it?

This is such a tricky thing. I personally feel 45 maximum for actively trying, including medical help to do this.

My reasons I suppose are personal. Best friend was a surprise baby (parents aged 40 and 42). Reasonably healthy people but both no longer around. I know this is also unlucky that they both got cancer in their 70s, but also really not that strange. She's 30 and luckily had her children in her 20s so they got to meet them. She was so so worried about them being around for them, so it's it's that she almost knew. (She was also lucky meeting her husband early!)

My parents were mid 30s but I also lost one. Again, I know this can happen at any age, but it defintely increases chances as you get older. It was so painful to my siblings and I. I could never say to my remaining parent, but it's one of the reasons I had my son at 29.

I get that it's difficult having children young in current climates with finding a decent relationship, having a good job and the whole unaffordability of housing, but that's why people are having them mid 30s. Not mid 40s!

However, I know this may sound very unfair to those who have for whatever reason not been able to have children earlier. So really interested to see different views :)

I’m mid 40’s and I wouldn’t have fancied dealing with pregnancy and newborn/ toddler stages for the last 5-7 ish years.

I say that as someone who had 2 straightforward pregnancies and births and 2 pretty easygoing dc.

37/38 would have been my personal limit. I think 28-30 is ideal.

Hmmm interesting question I'd also like to know peoples views - I have 3 children with my now ex husband who are 20,18and 15 who live with him and his new partner and I started a new relationship and have two babies now only a year apart at 1 and 3 months old - I'm 43 and often wonder whether we are too old !

I’m almost 48 with an eight year old and I would not have wanted to have a child any younger than I did.

I'm 45 and feel too old to have a baby . Plus I'm also a grandparent. I couldn't cope with one now, all but one child is off my hands , I love the freedom to just do as I please when I please and for how long I please and if I don't want to get out of bed one day or get pissed one day I can and will, getting pissed in bed eating shit and watching Netflix even better
Nah not for me thanks not at this stage of my life

I think around 38 would be my limit.

Up to others what they want to do though, I wouldn't judge if someone chose to have kids later than that.

For me - 35. I couldn’t care less what anyone else does.

50. My gran was 46 when she had my mum and they had a great relationship and my mum had a lovely childhood so I feel that depending on the sort of mother second half of the 40s is still ok.

It's a personal matter. I was 23 when I had my youngest and for me I was done having babies then.

I'm not sure age is really the factor in your examples. I sadly know plenty of people bereaved of their parents before they had their own children regardless of age. My df was mid 40s when he had us and is still around and v much a dgf to his grandchildren.

I had my last at 36 and was glad I'd slipped them all in then, but I'm now 40 and still broody and it's not my age that would stop me - more our finances, work plans and practical things like house and car.

I know 2 close family members who were 43 with their lasts and their children are now in their 20s and well supported and happy with active, involved parents. I similarly have a close family member who had their only in their early 20s and it has not been a smooth ride.

Too many variables and age is not necessarily the most important.

Each to their own, life doesn’t run to a time table- but in my perfect world I wouldn’t want to deal with preschoolers in my 40s.

It's so personal. I am 28 and pregnant with my first. I want to be 'done' before I'm 35 and I only want two, tops. I think much past 45 is pushing it in terms of how fair it is on the child. My DM had us at 29, 32 and 36. I was the youngest, and I don't know if it was because I was the third or her age, but I didn't feel like we had a great relationship. She was always too tired to play and didn't want to do anything fun. Everyone is different, but it has jaded my views I think.

92

My dad was 45 when I was born and he's been a great dad, still active and healthy in his 80s. Some luck involved admittedly. But although I'll probably lose my dad at a younger age than many of my peers but I don't necessarily think it gets easier either practically or emotionally to deal with the ageing and death of a beloved parent as you get older.

I had my second DD at 30 and wouldn’t have wanted any after that age. I’m 34 now and knackered 😂
I like the idea of having my life back a bit by 40.

Had mine at 36 and 38. Didnt meet DH until i was 33. I'm now 40 with a 4 year old and a 2 year old and a shell of my former self! I do find it hard work plus I work full time. Obviously I have no idea if things would have been easier had I had them at say 28 and 30. My personal cut-off age was 40 because I was worried about complications. I have a friend who is starting to try at nearly 41 for the first time.
Ill be slammed for saying this but I think there's a bit of a class divide here and I've experienced it for myself. Amongst collegues and in the nice middle class suburb I live mid 30s is pretty standard age for having your first. When I visit family back in my home town which is working class and not very affluent I'm considered fucking ancient to have two toddlers that are mine. I've twice been asked if they are my grandkids which was v embarrassing😔

You're over thinking this, OP, but as you say - there are endless threads on here about this and there's never a consensus.

I personally wouldn't want to have children past 35

For me personally, if dh and I hadn't had children by the time I'm 37, I wouldn't have wanted them. As it happened I had our first at 28.

On the other end of the spectrum, my cousin and her husband are late 40s and have just adopted 2 little brothers after 10 years of ttc, with no luck, including medical intervention, and they've got so much energy for their boys, they're only a few years younger than my parents. Sometimes I think they have more go than I do!!

It depends really - if you had children in your 20s then you would think a baby in your late 30s/early 40s is too old, but if you started your family later in life then you would probably say any time up until you hit menopause. So it's completely dependent on your individual situation..

I ideally wanted two, by 35. At 42, I still want another, but won't. Everyone has different reasons for having kids at the ages they do. I know at least two mums at school who had their first at 44.

Age does play on my mind though. My Dad died last year at 71. He was 30 when he had me and was a grandparent for 18 years. 41 still felt young and unfair to have lost a parent.

50 I think seems pushing things too far for me, and ideally not past mid 40s.

I feel both happy for and a bit sorry for parents who I see in their mid 40s with under 5s - happy in that they obviously wanted kids and didn't miss out, a bit sorry in that they always look so knackered! But mostly happy.... I do know that things don't just come along at a convenient time.

Under 40 ideally. But 41,42 ok. But 44 or over no. Mainly because of the risks of problems.

For me personally the optimum age is 30-35 and if I hadn't had a suitable partner at that age, or if I'd had difficulties conceiving, I would have tried in my late 30s but my cut-off would probably have been 39/40.

I try not to judge others' choices but I do think 45+ is too old (for women and men) for various reasons; mainly because it's not ideal for the parents or the child for the parents to be older. It's a generalisation and there will of course be exceptions but older parents might be more likely to struggle with energy, health problems and on average won't be around for as long.

My personal limit was 35. But in general kids before 40 I think is ideal. I feel sorry for so many kids at our school whose parents look more like they could be their grandparents and they don't have the energy to do anything fun with their kids - they just pawn them off on nannies and au pairs.