What age do you think is too old to have a baby?

[BabyLlamaZen]

I've seen a few threads related to this. What would you say is the cut off age for a woman specifically to be pregnant and have a baby? Or is there no cut of age - is it ok to have children in your 60s if medical advancement allows it?

This is such a tricky thing. I personally feel 45 maximum for actively trying, including medical help to do this.

My reasons I suppose are personal. Best friend was a surprise baby (parents aged 40 and 42). Reasonably healthy people but both no longer around. I know this is also unlucky that they both got cancer in their 70s, but also really not that strange. She's 30 and luckily had her children in her 20s so they got to meet them. She was so so worried about them being around for them, so it's it's that she almost knew. (She was also lucky meeting her husband early!)

My parents were mid 30s but I also lost one. Again, I know this can happen at any age, but it defintely increases chances as you get older. It was so painful to my siblings and I. I could never say to my remaining parent, but it's one of the reasons I had my son at 29.

I get that it's difficult having children young in current climates with finding a decent relationship, having a good job and the whole unaffordability of housing, but that's why people are having them mid 30s. Not mid 40s!

However, I know this may sound very unfair to those who have for whatever reason not been able to have children earlier. So really interested to see different views :)

For me personally it was 35 for anyone else I'd say 40 don't know why

My own personal cut off was 35. I don't judge anyone who has a baby later than that but it wasn't right for me.

I had my first at 35 and hoped for another. Two miscarriages and some serious health problems for DH set us back. I'm now 42 and think even if we could, I feel too old. This makes me sad, but I'm very fortunate to have my amazing DD.

What about 90, like Bernie Ecclestone. We should all go for it. I am joking of course, but it seems different rules apply for men.

It’s not just the having a baby part though.
You need to consider how old you will be when the baby is a ten year old, a teenager, a twenty year old, etc.
That would be the sobering thought for me.

I think it depends on circumstances and I do wish we had started trying for children sooner. We have one DD who was born 4 months before I turned 40 and DH had just turned 41. We would have become parents at 35 which would have been a better age but we had six miscarriages before we had DD. She hasn’t got siblings as we couldn’t have more due to early menopause. I do worry that she won’t have anyone if we die young.

Im 42 and wouldnt want to ttc now. I feel too old and worry about the risks.

My mum was 45. Both parents were really active. Also had progressed with their careers so financially secure. We had a fab childhood and my son adores his granny, even if she isn't as active as his other grandparents.
I dont consider them selfish. You cannot predict when you will need care and line everyone up so that everyone's at the correct life stage! I'm already a carer to a 37 year old. Life is life. In the end, the age or fitness of your parents pales into insignificance when you think about things that actually affect your childhood.

I had ds3 at 35 yrs. I wouldn't have wanted to leave it any later. I think mid-forties is very late and must bring a lot of challenges later down the line.

Of course it’s highly personal and not everyone gets to choose when they have children, or if.
I had my first at 30 and second at 33. I don’t have an inclination for a third but if I did, I know that 35 would be my cut off - it’s just always been in my head to be finished with pregnancy and the newborn fog by then. My husband is 37, too and I don’t think he’d want to be much older.
I loved my twenties, absolutely loved the freedom of those years and so glad I never had children earlier, even though some friends did and are now enjoying some of the benefits older children bring (sleep!). At the same time I don’t think I’d like to be in my 40s with very little ones. I feel like my 30s are all about the nappies and nursery runs and play doh but by the time I reach 40, I hope that to have a bit more freedom, money and the opportunity to build on my (currently stalled) career. I also like the fact that by the time my youngest is 25, I won’t yet be 60.

I want to say 30 for me but that's because I have three children already so I'd say 35.

Whatever works :)

I had my first at 37yo, DH was 42. Met my DH at 22 got married at 26. We had lovely time as childless couple. Always new we will want a child, but didn’t even think about it until 32-33 as it felt way too young.
Started TTC at 35.
To me 37 was perfect time. I only want one child. And he is 4 now. We are very active spend load of time outdoors and my DH who is now 46 loves to play with DS and has so much patience.

For me, it was 35. I had my youngest the day before my 35th birthday!! I'm 40 now and couldn't face having anymore. My last pregnancy was absolutely horrible.

Based purely on my own experience, I think purely on the physical aspects, your 20's is the best age to have kids. But in terms of being financially, mentally and emotionally ready, waiting until your 30's makes more sense.

My granny had my dad when she was about 40 and he's 72 now so it's not a 'new' thing. According to my grandparents, it was quite common for their generation because they were post war.

My personal cut off was ideally 30, but 35 at a push. Fertility and mh issues meant I delayed ivf and I had my DTs just before I turned 32. I’ve got two more in the freezer that I’d love to use and am fast hurtling towards 35 (would need to use them in the next month or so!) so I guess I’ll end up either never having anymore or changing my cut off.

No real opinion on cut off ages for others, but would probably go with an average age where fertility naturally ends.

For me personally, 35.
For others (not that it’s my business) 40.
I think having children in your 60s (If possible) would be selfish.

Around 37/38

Hmmm I mean I wouldn’t like to put an age on it but probably about 45. I mean that’s the age where it’s highly unlikely to happen naturally anyway so that’s nature speaking up.

I get what you’re saying about losing parents (why I find it sad when celebrities have children in their 60’s and 70’s- I find it selfish because they’re not going to be around by the time the child’s 30) but say a mother was 44 when she a baby, she’d be 63 when they were adults. That’s not old!

Not everyone is lucky enough to meet the man of their dreams at 25. Also most 25 years old aren’t as financially secure as they would be at 45.

What about bringing a child in to the world at 23 with a one night stand with no way of supporting it financially? Is that a better situation for a child to grow up in?

I really think it’s a personal choice and nature dictates when the cut off is anyway. OP at you not having any more? What if you split up with your DP and meet someone else when you’re 37? Stranger things have happened?

I had mine at 27 and 31. I’m now 39 and trying for one last one. Am I too old? I don’t think I am. I’m financially very secure, own properties, drive a new Audi, my DC’s had a lovely holiday to Florida last year, got plenty of bedrooms for my DC to have their own rooms. When I had my first DC I was a student doing my degree lining in rented accommodation without a pot to p*ss in. (I’m simply illustrating that financially I’m much more secure now, not simply saying I’ve fit this that etc)

I don’t think we’d go for IVF although we could afford it, because I have got 2 DC so I consider myself lucky. Some couples wait for several years and that’s why they vex up being early-forties as that’s when it happens for them.

I have said to DH that we’ll try fir a year. If it doesn’t happen by the time I’m 40 then we’ll forget about it but that’s because I know what it feels like to be a mum.

I had my first at 20, she’s now 18 and I’m 38.
I’m pregnant with my 4th and definitely last. It’s much harder and I’m worried I’ll be irrelevant at 56 when this last one is 18. I’d say 35 at the latest is the ideal if you’re lucky enough to find yourself in the right situation by then.

40/41

I had my youngest at 35. I had planned to have a third at 40/41 but stuck with 2. Now at 47 I am definitely too old

I had my eldest at 32, nearly 33. It was always for unknown reasons the age I thought was the perfect age to be a first time mum.

Well if it's ok for men to have babies however old they like, I think it's fine for women too. Maybe later they need to go a more circuitous route but why should it be ok for men and not for women? Fuck that.

I had one at 40 and it was a total breeze. In no way harder than in my 20s. Maybe I am just lucky but it was fine.

When you cease to be fertile (for women who were fertile in the first place, obviously)

I had mine mid 30s. I could afford ivf at 50, now, but I'm buggered if I want to do the post partum haemorrhage, subsequent blood transfusion and sleepless nights all over again.

My parents had me at 30 and 32 and my father died when he was 55. My husband's parents had him in their 40s, one has just turned 90 and the other died at 88 last year. All surviving parents have had time with their grandchild.

I had my DC just shy of 42. I was well established in a senior role, we had a big house, enough money for my husband to drop down to part time, and we have done all our partying and are very happy to devote our time to parenting. I can see plenty of upsides to doing it earlier too but this works for us. Everyone else can do whatever they like.